You must try Roasted Starburst!

No, really, it’s a thing. Thousands have done it. I don’t know how I went so long without hearing about ROASTED STARBURST, but now that I have, there’s no going back. I will never eat another fruit chew without burning it first.

I can’t claim credit for this tutorial. I followed the one from Instructables, though the Internet teems with many more. That’s what drew me in, actually. If that many people were roasting Starburst, then surely Starburst were worth roasting.

Consider it a fun replacement for the marshmallows you normally roast. Indeed, some even pair the fruity goo with chocolate and then sandwich that whole mess between graham crackers, for a tangier spin on s’mores. I prefer them au naturel.

It’s easy to do. You’ll just need Starburst, metal skewers and an open flame. Playlist of fire-themed songs is optional, but if you do add that, don’t sleep on David Bowie’s Cat People.

Stab a few pieces with a skewer and slowly turn ’em over the fire. This would traditionally be a campfire, but since camp was cancelled this year, I just set a small fire in an empty soup can. (You could also use your stovetop, though doing so means you’ll be spending hours cleaning up melted Starburst. It’s worse than wax.)

You’ll know they’re done when the individual pieces merge into one gelatinous SUPER piece. That super piece should resemble the neon death version of Marge’s hair.

Let it cool for a few, and then have at it.

If you grew up near a shore town, you’re probably familiar with saltwater taffy. Well, this is what you always wanted saltwater taffy to taste like. Gone are the understated notes of yesteryear, replaced by an in-your-face fruitiness that demands puckers and praise.

The exposed Starburst “skin” will quickly harden into a light sort of shell. The innards will remain juicy and warm, with a consistency closer to slightly chewed bubblegum. The Starburst flavors brighten immensely, stirred by the heat to treat your mouth like the stage of a really important talent show.

I repeated the process several times, ending with a stack of four red Starbursts. That glob, which looks like a doll-scale version of the horse heart Daenerys ate to prove her mettle to the Dothraki, is easily among the tastiest things I’ve ever swallowed.

Roasted Starburst is absolutely something you must try. So try it.