Rented by: Meerkat the Bureaucrat
Come in and please have a seat over by the window. We’ll be with you in one moment. Please take a number and clipboard. It’s time for the annual required “Television Fun Night” you absentmindedly agreed to when you downloaded Meerkat’s start-up company iPhone app three years ago and accepted the terms of service without reading them. Luckily finding out about the required dinner party, game night, and TV viewing prior to the release of version 2.0, you’re not required to move into his home at any point to alleviate his financial burdens.
Before we can all watch Mad Men, Season 6, Episode 5, please open your envelope and begin filling out the paperwork. Don’t rush, as we won’t be seated until every member of the party arrives. All standard information should be up to date. Please update any and all changes on the allergen (food, environmental, or medicinal) list and emergency contact information. The snack food budget has been broken out evenly. Please submit a check with the exact amount. Cash is not acceptable. The 7/11 down the street does issue money orders. Please don’t get “creative” in the note portion of the check.
You will be seated in the order that you arrive. The last will maintain the center seat on the couch with no access to an armrest. Polite chitchat is permitted while waiting. Please pay attention for your name and number to be called. You will be summoned to the shoe removal and inspection portion of the evening. Place your electronics into the tray to be scanned separately, outside of bags. (Don’t worry you left your phone at home because of the multiple times Meerkat has tried to accidentally update your app to version 2.3 Lite.)
We will have two scheduled bathroom and snack refill breaks at the top and bottom of every hour. At this point the show will be paused and recorded to prevent plot loss. Commercials will NOT be skipped however. Marketing is an integral part of keeping cable and network television alive.
At the end of the evening you may take a parting gift. Please select the bag notated with your name. Each bag contains a feedback form due by the 15th. Prior to exiting please sign and date the ledger then present identification for signature comparison.
Have a good night guys!! Thanks for coming over, we always have so much fun!