14 Photos of Snakeweed.
I took fourteen photos of Snakeweed. See below.
Photo #1:
This is Snakeweed, one of the evil mutants from the new TMNT series. Which I suppose isn’t all that “new” anymore. The figure came out a while ago, but I normally only see the four Turtles in stores – never their assorted friends and enemies. So yeah, this was my first crack at Snakeweed. A fucking giant plant monster. Bonus.
Photo #2:
This is Snakeweed, out of his package. You don’t need to be familiar with TMNT to appreciate this guy. He’s perfect with no asterisks. The vines are a great touch, but Snakeweed’s head is the best part. Doesn’t he look tortured? I want to save him. Snakeweed may be the final boss in a botanophobe‘s biggest nightmare, but I still want to save him.
Photo #3:
This is Snakeweed, sneaking up on Metalhead. What a battle this should be!
I don’t know who to put my money on. Snakeweed is probably moist enough to mess with Metalhead’s electronics, but it’s just as easy to imagine Metalhead tearing Snakeweed in half. Maybe we can pretend that this isn’t the preamble to fisticuffs. No, Snakeweed and Metalhead are unlikely friends.
Photo #4:
This is Snakeweed, stomping around in mutagen ooze. What happens to people who were already mutated by ooze, if they step in ooze a second time? Has that ever been clarified? Because let’s say Snakeweed spent the morning riding dolphins. By rights, not one minute after this photo was taken, he should’ve transformed into a plant/dolphin monster.
Since he didn’t, I guess I have my answer. Mutagen is a one-time-only show.
Photo #5:
This is Snakeweed, though you may have trouble spotting him. Snakeweed’s natural state makes for great camouflage, at least when he’s surrounded by other plants. It wouldn’t work so well if he was surrounded by cake or something.
Photo #6:
This is Snakeweed, checking out a few of my Chia Pet planters, from various X-E and Dino Drac articles over the last several years. For reasons I can’t explain, my Chia Pet planters always end up outside. It’s comforting to know that I just need one handful of Chia seeds to raise an army from the dead.
Someday, my friends. Whenever I crack.
Photo #7:
This is Snakeweed, next to a really old Corgi Batmobile. Hot Wheels scale. The Batmobile’s been buried in soil for years, and there’s something strangely beautiful about it. If Batman was killed by some criminal out in the middle of nowhere, this is how we’d eventually find out.
Photo #8:
This is Snakeweed, marveling at a giant tin knight. The tin knight is one of my oldest possessions, and I’m amazed that it’s survived so many moves. I found him in a Cape May junk shop when I was a kid, and one of my aunts helped me purchase him. (He was $30. I can’t remember how much I had, but it was nowhere near $30.)
Years of rust have made the knight much more attractive than he originally was. When I bought him, the metal was painted in a gold that was actually too gold, to the point where it looked more like a yellow. Yellow is a shitty color for a knight.
Photo #9:
This is Snakeweed, wondering why I put one of those “straw market ashtrays” outside. I have no idea. I have no idea how any of this stuff got outside. It’s not like I’m intentionally decorating out there.
If you’ve never seen one of these, they’re monsters (or people, or animals maybe) made out of straw (and coconuts too, I think) that double as working ashtrays. Even though there’s no hole for smoke to rise out of.
Maybe that was the point? Smokeless ashtrays? I guess Rand Peltzer stole the idea from someone in Nassau.
Photo #10:
This is Snakeweed, frightened by the remnants of that “Spooky Skull Fountain” I reviewed back in 2007. The old article is shot to shit, but here’s a photo.
It’s currently being used to raise a pot of flowers closer to sunlight, but I wouldn’t know anything about that. Ms. X handles the plants. If I had it my way, we wouldn’t have any. Every year, it’s the same thing. Sixty bucks for a couple of things that stay pretty for two weeks, and then spend eight months looking like burned marshmallows.
Sixty bucks is a lot of money. On a day without tax, I could get six Snakeweeds for that.
Photo #11:
This is Snakeweed, next to a potato that I tried to mutate. I was more successful in this during Dino Drac’s Potato Project, so I guess the key is using more than two ounces of water.
While I understand that Snakeweed is a static toy, doesn’t he look more bewildered here than in any of the previous photos? Apparently, potato mishaps wreck his shit. If you’ve never fully understood the definition of “aghast,” look at that photo again.
Photo #12:
This is Snakeweed, introducing himself to Godzilla and Jimmy Hart, two action figures that live outside for some reason.
Actually, now that I think about it, Godzilla was covered in toy slime in a long ago X-E article, and Jimmy Hart was covered in toy slime last year. So maybe my subconscious will not let me bring slimed action figures back indoors, for reasons only it understands.
Better keep your toes out of that mutagen, Snakeweed.
Photo #13:
This is Snakeweed, sharing my happiness over a rusted “BOO” pail. I can’t source this one. I don’t know when we got it, what was in it or where it came from. It’s been out there for as long as I can remember. I hope it never goes away. It’s nice to get a little bit of Halloween, no matter the time of year.
Photo #14:
This is Snakeweed, with one of our “solar lights.” Or whatever they’re called. After absorbing sunlight by day, they spend the evening hours glowing ever so slightly. Their light isn’t strong enough to see by, but it is strong enough to make certain corners look like they’re being invaded by tiny UFOs. Which is great.
