Elvira, Mistress of the Dark!
Tonight’s movie is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. I love this one to pieces.
The film debuted in 1988 and feels like it debuted in 1988. It’s a weird blend of that era’s creature features and romantic comedies, but better because Elvira is in 98% of the shots.
If you’ve only paid cursory attention to Elvira and have doubts about her ability to carry a movie, trust me, she KILLS it here. She’s positively magnetic. Mistress of the Dark is funny and sappy and loaded with cheese, but since Elvira’s wit was so ahead of the curve, it still “plays hip” today. She may be surrounded by dopey stuff, but Elvira is never dopey.
Bonus points: The film also stars Edie McClurg (Mrs. Poole!) and Ira Heiden (The Wizard Master!), so it kind of inadvertently became this amazing tribute to the late ‘80s even if it didn’t at all mean to be.
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark can put anyone in a good mood, so if you need a pick-me-up tonight, look no further!
Tales from the Crypt, 1972.
I got a heavy one for ya, tonight. Tales from the Crypt, from 1972.
It’s one of the few horror that really got under my skin, thanks largely to the fact that I saw it as a small child. It randomly came on television on some long ago Saturday afternoon, and I just couldn’t look away. I’m glad I didn’t now, but at the time, it definitely fueled a few nightmares.
The anthology film is full of eerie shit, but of particular interest to me was the Wish You Were Here segment, a spin on the famous Monkey’s Paw story.
Between the shot shown above (watch the movie if you want context) and the gory, unbelievably unsettling ending, Wish You Were Here has been stuck in my brain for literally decades. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever even watched Tales from the Crypt again after that first time. That’s how much of an impression it made.
Tales from the Crypt is much more appropriate for a stormy Sunday afternoon, but I think it’ll do okay on a Monday night, too.
Enjoy the movie… if you dare.
Jason Takes Arsenio.
Remember when Jason Voorhees was a guest on The Arsenio Hall Show?
Yes, this happened!
The July 1989 “interview” was meant to promote Jason Takes Manhattan, and I can still remember watching it in my junky old bedroom. I hadn’t seen any of the Friday the 13th movies by that point, but with Jason being such a pop icon, that hardly mattered.
Now that I think about it, it was probably this very interview that inspired me to rent Jason Takes Manhattan several months later. I was still dipping my feet into the horror pool and wasn’t yet ready for the rougher stuff, but since Jason was so affable with Arsenio, how bad could the movie be?
Well, within like five minutes of the title screen, Jason literally ripped the intestines out of some rando’s stomach. I stopped the tape right there, and wouldn’t try renting it again for years. (Little did I know that the intestines thing was the movie’s most brutal scene, by far.)
Considering that I now count Friday the 13th as my most beloved horror franchise, I got off to a pretty weak start!
Anyway, watch the clip. It’s freakin’ adorable.
Halloween is Grinch Night!
After running so many horror movies on Dino Drac After Dark, I thought we were due for a change of pace. Let’s watch cartoons!
Tonight’s movie: Halloween is Grinch Night.
Okay, so it isn’t a movie.
The television special premiered in 1977 to rave reviews, but was scarcely seen even by the time I was a kid. In fact, it wasn’t until I was an old goon with an internet connection that I ever even heard of the thing, and the idea of the Grinch having his own Halloween special completely blew my mind.
I watched it years ago and admittedly wasn’t very into it, but with age comes wisdom, and I’ve realized that I was probably being unfair. It was silly to expect this to match wits with the Grinch’s Christmas special, which had DECADES to eke out a permanent home in my stupid soul.
So tonight I wanna give it another chance with a fresh perspective. Join me, will ya?
