Local Legends!
Tonight’s survey was based on suggestions from readers Rae and Jingo. Thanks, guys!
In the comments, let’s share stories about our own LOCAL LEGENDS.
Every town has their own ghost stories, or rumors about that one madman, or places that nobody is supposed to go.
From the past or present, what are some of yours?
(Apologies in advance if you’re heard this story before. I seem to tell it an awful lot.)
On Staten Island, the “satanic panic” craze was in full effect during the ‘80s. (Ever see that Cropsey documentary? Yeah.)
For kids my age, this amounted to parents warning us to stay out of certain wooded areas, because that was where “the satanists” lived. In reality, there were very good reasons to stay out of those woods, because back when Staten Island was less crowded, it wasn’t out of the question to run into drug addicts or makeshift sex dens. None of those folks were likely to sacrifice you to dark gods, but they weren’t exactly good company for eight-year-olds, either.
But were there actually satanists? Consistently? To this day, I have no idea. I can tell you that even in the areas where me and my friends were allowed to explore, we’d find all sorts of spooky shit, from pentagrams spray-painted onto rocks to bundles of discarded clothes.
The thought of finding a bunch of black-clad devil worshippers may have given us pause, but at the same time, it motivated us to explore the woods even further than we normally would. We felt like little detectives, trying to solve cases that most likely didn’t exist.
In retrospect, my best guess is that — as strange as it sounds — it was just easier for parents to say “stay out of the woods because there are satanists” than “stay out of the woods because there are people getting high and boinking.”
Still, I gotta admit, this was all so weirdly fascinating to me as a kid. Just the idea that while normal society was doing its normal things in its normal places, the dungeon of fuckin’ doom was drinking rat blood fifty feet away.
What were some of your local legends? The scary ones, I mean!
September is here!
I may begin celebrating in August, but September 1st marks the true start of the Halloween season. Yes yes yes!
I implore you not to waste it. The next two months will fly by at unbelievable speeds!
In fact, to make sure you don’t waste it, tonight’s survey is more of a challenge:
In the comments, make a list of the fun things you REALLY WANNA DO this Halloween season. Maybe putting it to paper (well, sort of) will help motivate you!
I’ll start!
1) Go on a trashy haunted hayride in Jersey.
These are usually connected to pumpkin patches, but the real action doesn’t start until sunset. As with its tomatoes, Jersey’s hayrides are incomparable. Shop around long enough, and you’ll find the most blessedly bootleg hayride, where you’ll travel down iffy dirt roads surrounded by dangerous people, unafraid of the lurking vampires but nonetheless fearful for your life.
2) Put up at least six more videos between now and the Countdown’s finale.
I know that’s technically a “work” to-do, but running the Countdown is how I celebrate the season. I always mean to do more videos than I end up with, because time flies when you’re trying to put up new content every single weekday. I’d actually like to get more than six in the can, but let’s start there.
3) See at least two horror movies in theaters before Halloween.
This should be easy enough, since I already have my ticket for Blair Witch. Not sure what’ll be #2, though I’ve heard enough about Don’t Breathe to know that I’m interested.
4) Go to one “special” Halloween event.
Not just a pumpkin patch and not just some random store, but an actual EVENT, be it a party at some sketchy bar, or a walkthrough at some temporarily macabre museum… whatever. Just something that must be planned for and booked in advance. I want me and the lady to have something halfway big to look forward to, sure, but I’m also just fishing for an excuse to book at a room at a two star hotel.
Your turn!
What are some of the things that NEED TO HAPPEN for your season-long celebration to be a success? Make some plans — and some vows — in the comments!
Halloween, I love you.
A L I E N S.
Tonight’s subject: ALIENS.
To get you in the mood, here’s a rip of an old Sightings video, which is absolutely perfect right down to the boldly plain “Feature Presentation” intro. Remember that one?
(Paramount used to slap it on EVERYTHING. It got to the point where I’d hum that little theme all day long.)
Sightings was awesome. While never managing the production value or eerie ambiance of Unsolved Mysteries (which Sightings was clearly built to resemble), it had the advantage of dealing with spooky stuff 100% of the time. No “Lost Loves” segments, here!
Often enough, the show favored entertainment over legitimacy, allowing people who were so obviously lying to tell their stories, and sometimes even crafting reenactments of their tales. As a kid, I ate it up.
I didn’t grow up only half-believing these stories. I was all-in. I may have approached ghost and monster stuff with some skepticism, but I absolutely believed in UFOs, and can hardly remember even one alien story that I didn’t take at face value.
Even if I’ve since been forced to confront the very real possibility that most of them were bullshit, I still love extraterrestrial exposés. At any given time, we have six or seven of them on our DVR. They’re great for those nights when we want something spooky, but never screaming.
So, tonight’s questions:
1) Do you (or did you) believe that people have seen, been in contact with, or even been abducted by aliens?
2) Any childhood memories of the space alien craze? How did it affect you? (Me personally, I’ll never forget the time I let my imagination get carried away and actually called 911 to report a sighting of what I now realize was just a helicopter.)
3) Did any particular alien story/movie/whatever really “shake your foundation” way back when? (I still can’t deal with the flashback scene from Fire in the Sky, for instance.)
Answer one or all, or just run with the topic of aliens and talk about whatever!
Monster Mayhem.
I love monsters, you love monsters.
Let’s share monsters!
This is the Knobby White Spider. He’s part of the Star Wars universe, but moreover the *supplemental* Star Wars universe. (You never saw one in any of the movies, though as you’re about to find out… you actually kinda did!)
These beasts were native to Dagobah, which you’ll remember as Yoda’s retirement home, most prominently featured in The Empire Strikes Back.
Dagobah was basically a planet-sized swamp, looking like an extra fanciful version of our own earthly versions. It was home to many gnarltrees, like the one shown above. These were ugly, twisting trees that sprouted up from the bog, often leaving a kind of organic, woody clubhouse at ground level.
But the really interesting thing? Those horrifying Knobby White Spiders were actually mobile roots that acted as part of the gnarltree’s lifecycle!
They’d break off of adult gnarltrees and spend time acting as indiscriminate predators, before finally taking root to grow into new gnarltrees themselves. So creepy and SO cool!
Read more about the Knobby White Spiders on Wookieepedia, but not before participating in tonight’s discussion:
In the comments, talk about weird monsters from movies, television, games and books that just charm the hell out of you… especially if they’re mostly unknown to the general public.
They needn’t necessarily be “scary” or “evil,” either. Monsters come in all forms. Some have fangs and eat human flesh; others look like Play-Doh and hoard cookies.
