Retro TV Commercials

Happy September! It’s arguably the best month of the year, but inarguably the month that kicks off the best quarter of the year. From now through 2020, we’ll always have some holiday-related bullshit to help us forget our troubles. Yes! Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy

I’ve been doing some spring cleaning, because that’s technically still possible in June. I badly need to free up space, so as much as I’ll miss that Jenga game with half of the bricks missing, it’s all for the greater good. In the process, I dug up more piles of homebrew VHS tapes,

I admit that I’ve been slacking on the regular Dino Drac content lately. Would you believe that I’ve gotten really into playing horseshoes? I mean, I haven’t, but I feel like it’s an excuse you’d accept. Picture me out there, wiping dirt on my jeans after every bad toss. Isn’t

Here’s another batch of TV commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s, as I continue to muscle through these dangerously teetering piles of VHS tapes that are all over my desk. (Not kidding. Whenever I scratch my shoulder, there are at least three crashes.) McDonald’s “Gold Rush&

Last week, I took a chance on a very large lot of homebrew VHS tapes, and my God, it really paid off. I’ve been at this for 20 years, and this was probably my best-ever score. I’m now sitting on more ancient TV commercials than I could ever hope to write about, which I suppose

Happy 2019! One of my resolutions was to dig up as many old TV commercials as possible before my collection of home-recorded VHS tapes degrades any further. Expect a lot of these articles this year. …granted, “these articles” were never strong performers for Dino Drac, so maybe y

Happy December! It’s the month that moves too fast and costs too much, but I love it, and if you’re able to stomach me, I’m guessing that you love it, too. As is tradition, I dug through my piles of home-recorded VHS tapes searching for more ancient Christmas commercials. Here’s th

This’ll take a minute to explain. Exactly a minute. Time me. During the 1986 holiday season, Toys “R” Us unveiled a series of commercials hosted by giant anthropomorphized toys, like that amazing robot shown above. Each spot featured a different batch of 1986’s hottest playthings.

I’m halfway back from an unexpected break, because October likes to hand me more tricks than treats. Here’s the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials. Garfield’s Halloween Adventure! (1998) This CBS promo from 1998 celebrated the first airing of Garfield’s Halloween Adve

Get set for the best edition of Classic Creepy Commercials yet. I’m serious. I’m Babe Ruthing this mofo. All of these ads were rescued from taped-off-television compilations. For maximum effect, imagine them sandwiched between seven-minute stretches of DuckTales and Scooby-Doo. You

The return of Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown means I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring features: Classic Creepy Commercials! If you weren’t around for the eighteen previous installments, this is where I gush about old spooky TV commercials. I’ve spent the last six months

Below are five more ancient TV commercials, plucked from my ginormous pile of dusty tapes. May they make you 10% happier for 2.5 minutes. Child’s Play 3! (1991) In terms of horror, the Child’s Play franchise was my first love. I was a late bloomer with a weak stomach, but Chucky al

To tie in with Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer event, everything featured in this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials has something to do with summertime. Or cruelty. Get set for ice cream, fried chicken and water-squirting robot men! Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars! (1991) I was never big on Butt

In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, we’re celebrating everything from Kool-Aid to Sunny D. And also a few things that aren’t drinks. Super Naturals! (1987) A line like Super Naturals could’ve only happened in the ‘80s, when the action figure market was white hot. By today

Time for another batch of ‘80s and ‘90s TV commercials, pulled from my ginormous collection of half-rotted VHS tapes. Get set for Ninja Turtles, Slurpees and gratuitously creepy PSAs.  Turtle Power Hotline! (1990) Kids! Call this special 900 number to listen to songs from the live-a

Until 1994, WPIX was a smallish, independent TV station, but one that aired -- in the New York area, at least -- on broadcast television. Even as a kid, I recognized that it wasn’t on the same level as ABC, NBC or CBS. In many ways, it felt like the mom-and-pop version of a TV station.

In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, you’ll see everything from old ghosts to old cereal to old cheese. I know how to build excitement. Real Ghostbusters Toys! (1986) Here’s an early Real Ghostbusters toy commercial — possibly the first, but at least one of the first. Ke

By the time you watch the old commercials I upload, they’re just old commercials, no different from the millions of others on YouTube. What you miss is the curation. Most of the ads I’ve put up were rescued from dusty VHS tapes, long ignored by their prior owners. Some of those tapes s

I’ve been encoding old VHS tapes like crazy lately, collecting more commercials than my computer and two external hard drives can reasonably handle. This article is a small step in clearing the cache, but it’s mainly an excuse for me to gush about giant squid and microwave pizza. Hurri

Today is my birthday. I thought I’d celebrate by writing about Regis Philbin’s old Harvest Crisps commercial. You do you, I do me. Burger King’s Burger Bundles! (1987) I’ve never been wild about Burger King. As a kid, I’d only eat there out of geographical convenience or beca

I’ve been digging through stacks of home-recorded VHS tapes, searching for more old TV commercials. It’s seriously one of my favorite things to do. I even wear a special outfit. Below: Another batch of retro TV commercials. This time, they’re all from the ‘90s, when grunge was big

I wanted to sneak one last edition of Classic Christmas Commercials onto Dino Drac before THE BIG DAY, which is now approaching so rapidly that it might actually be January by the time I finish this paragraph. Below: Five more Christmas commercials from 1987, featuring ALF, Garfield and S

A reader donated over seven hours’ worth of Christmas specials, all taped off television back in 1987… with every commercial left intact. Yes! (Thank you, Robin!) Everything in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials is from that tape, so imagine them breaking Rudolph and Frosty�

I’ve curated another batch of ancient Christmas commercials. Keep reading if you enjoy Chicken McNuggets, Chex Mix and copper top battery testers. Don’t if you don’t. McDonald’s: Scrooge’s Christmas! (1984) Ebenezer Scrooge is so giddy over Chicken McNuggets that he drops

Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, the series in which I pay tribute to ancient spooky ads, or something. On a mostly unrelated note, I never bought into the idea that essays need a strong intro. Monster Face! (1992) Monster Face was basically a Dr. Frankenstein