Dino Drac’s Envelope of Evil VII!
Surprise drop! Dino Drac’s Envelopes of Evil are BACK FROM THE GRAVE. If you missed the memo, these are special, limited edition packages filled with creepy collectibles that are offered exactly once and then never spoken of again.
(These have nothing to do with the Funpacks, by the way. Totally separate thing!)
For the Envelope of Evil VII, a handful of flat (or flattish) items conspire to make your Halloween season just a little bit grander. The cost on this one is $40, and that includes shipping to anywhere in the United States.
Jump to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything inside the Dino Drac’s seventh Envelope of Evil!
The main event of the Envelope of Evil VII is one of the most ridiculously awesome and super rare items I’ve ever included in any kind of package sold on the site. Are you sure you’re ready for this?
From 1992, you will receive an official Pepsi / Frito-Lay MONSTER BASH sales brochure, never available to the general public! This four-page (well, three and a back cover) brochure was part of a larger sales kit sent to stores to drum up interest in the famous Monster Bash campaign, where Pepsi, Doritos and Ruffles joined forces with the Universal Monsters!
The brochure features beautiful, framable artwork of Party Monster Frankenstein on the cover, some info on the promotion, and then a few glorious mockups of actual Monster Bash store displays – the “cardboard haunts” that littered grocery stores back in the early ‘90s.
Do keep in mind that the complete sales kits probably would have included additional loose pages stuffed inside. Here you’re getting the absolute best part of it.
This is an extremely special item, and I’m thrilled to be able to share them with you. A long while back, I was able to secure a modest stack of these. It was one of my luckiest finds ever, and now some of that luck will spill over to you!
Next up, a (literally) giant hit of Halloween nostalgia. From 1990, you’ll each receive a sealed VORACIOUS VAMPIRE decorative yard bag. If you grew up shoving dead leaves into pumpkin-themed bags to use as outdoor Halloween decorations, this took things to a new level with a wacky vampire-themed leaf bag that left your yard protected by the severed head of an enormous orange Dracula. What fun!
Do keep in mind that these are essentially giant garbage bags that have been trapped in their packages for 25 years now. Thus, I have to add the asterisk that these are for collectible use only, as I can’t make any guarantees as to the structural integrity of yard bags that have spent more than two decades entombed in plastic.
Still, even the outer packaging is worth the price of admission! Most of these are coming straight out of an old factory case, so they are in as good condition as they possibly can be.
You’ll also receive a copy of Burger King’s Adventures newsletter from October of 2001, highlighting The Simpsons Spooky Light-Ups, which were the fabulously frightening prizes in every kid’s meal.
This was from the era when The Simpsons and Burger King joined forces to become the main event of Halloween. This four-page newsletter has it all: Great cover art, a full-page spread of the toys on the back cover, plus assorted games and puzzles on the inside pages. Whether you’re into Bart, fast food, Halloween or just sending me money, this has you covered.
There’s more! From 1991, you’ll each receive one of these cardboard Addams Family “Thing” promo hand puppets, which were given out to hype up the film’s theatrical debut that November.
Where were they given out? To be honest, I’m not sure. “Cardboard Thing puppets” don’t lend themselves to any obvious location. In any event, I managed to procure a fat little stack of them, all in totally unused condition.
The idea is that you can stick two of your own fingers through the holes to bring Thing to life, and then make him run around the kitchen table until someone tells you to stop doing that.
The front of the puppets features Thing in all of his glossy glory, while the back reminds you to go see him on the big screen.
Gosh, there’s still more? I thought I’d be done writing this fifteen minutes ago. You’ll ALSO get a pair of these super vintage Budweiser Halloween monster masks – promo items that were given away at bars and restaurants where Bud was on the menu.
They’re from 1994, which is about the only thing they have in common with TLC’s smash album, CrazySexyCool.
There were several different cardboard masks available. You’ll probably get the Frank-and-Drac pair shown here, but some of you may end up with a mummy or a werewolf in your envelope instead. They’re cheap, loud, old and drunk, just like the worst relatives at Christmas.
Finally, you’ll get one sheet of these vintage Window Weirdos stickers, which I believe are from the late ‘80s. As far as Halloween stickers go, these are super obscure and do NOT turn up often.
Each sheet features a dozen peel-off monsters who collectively look like a Halloween spoof of Rear Window.
So yep, you’ll get everything shown above for just $40, and that includes shipping to anywhere in the United States. (United States only, please!)
All of the paper/cardboard items will be bagged and boarded together for safety, and the whole spread will be shipped in a rigid cardboard envelope that is only possible to bend if your delivery person is very intentionally being a dick.
Remember, this is not a Funpack! The September Funpack will be debuting a bit later. This is a special one-time offering for anyone who can’t live without a leaf bag or old Burger King ephemera. Obviously, supplies are limited, so if you’re interested, click the button below to purchase!
The Envelopes of Evil VII will be shipping between now and next Monday, depending on when orders are made, and when my backup pack of magazine backer boards arrive. Thanks so much, and happy Halloween!
The Envelopes of Evil are now sold out! Thanks again, everyone!
