Remember when I wrote about Bigg Mixx? I think we should turn that into a series. A series about mad mascots. There are many bewilderingly beautiful brand mascots deserving of short tributes and crudely assembled image collages, and it is my intention to give them what’s owed!
…let’s start with this guy. “Trump.”
Even if you don’t immediately recognize him, I can all but guarantee that you’ve seen Trump before. He’s Monster.com’s mascot, and if you can’t figure out the connection between an online job database and a bizarre, frog-like mutant, you’ve overlooked the obvious explanation: Trump is a monster.
(Credit: Noonan Creative Group, creators of Trump! But I added the splotches.)
My impulse is to describe him as “Slimer with legs,” but that says too little. He’s a green troll with purple trim, and orange bird feet, and pink stars, and oh yeah, a freakin’ horn for a nose. Considering these traits, I’m ashamed that I haven’t written about him sooner.
While admitting that my “research” was mostly limited to guesswork, I can’t figure out exactly when Trump debuted. I do know that he’s been around since at least 2001, and still appears on the lesser pages of Monster’s website today.
A mascot for an internet company with that much money behind it was not going to have any trouble making its mark, and indeed, Trump was everywhere. He’s appeared as a cartoon, a costumed character and even an enormous balloon.
For those reasons and more, Trump makes for one of the best possible Google image searches. Above are some of my finds, hopefully shrunk down to the point where the various photo owners will not hate me for being a robber.
I don’t know how anyone could see this spread and not immediately fall in love with the thing. He looks like Pokemon concept art, leaked by a disgruntled artist to make fans complain about the ones they got instead. I should also remind you that he has a HORN FOR A NOSE.
Everywhere I looked, there were another ten reasons to adore him. By the time I landed on YouTube and found this video of a GIANT BALLOON TRUMP threatening to eat other, smaller balloons, I knew I had the subject for my next tattoo.
I know it’s easy to write him off, because who wants to credit something as mundane as a job site for bringing us something this artsy-awesome? Well, it’s time to get over ourselves, because they did.
Since words are not enough to express my love for this beast, I drew up some fan art:
This isn’t about you, CAT.
God, my drawing talent halted in like, the second grade. That’s why I busted out the Mysterious Antique Frame. Nothing looks bad in the Mysterious Antique Frame.
Trump, I wuv woo.
I have a figurative cache of at least fifty other mad mascots to pay tribute to, so if you’re into this sort of thing, stay tuned.