The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! This is a multipage feature. Page links are are at the bottom, or you can visit the starting page over here. Enjoy your stay at the Mausoleum, and pay no attention to the toxic green werecats.
#40: Pepsi/Casper Retail Standee! (1995)
I’m writing this on October 1st, so I thought I’d kick off the month with a big one – literally. One of the largest items in the entire Mausoleum, this gigantic Pepsi retail standee celebrated the brand’s partnership with the 1995 film, Casper.
I was told it stands seven feet tall. I haven’t measured, but unless I’ve shrunk, I’d put it closer to eight feet. It’s less Kevin Nash, more Giant Gonzales. It’s also freakin’ beautiful, with art that deftly blends two of my favorite things – ghosts, and the old Pepsi logo.
Despite spending too much money for this, I’ve actually never seen the film. I probably should, given that I like Bill Pullman and Christina Ricci, and have historically had no problems with Casper. Is there any Pepsi product placement in the film? Because that would get me over the hump.
Those following the Purple Stuff Podcast on Patreon might recall this cardboard monstrosity from our September bonus show, where we searched eBay for weird Halloween junk from 1995. Yeah, I was the one who bought this. It was expensive, but I had to. Look at it!
#39: Halloween Wowee Whistle! (1970s)
The Halloween Wowee Whistle was a seasonal smash before any of you were born. Originally made by Glenn Confections, I’ve found evidence that these paraffin wax whistles — essentially Wax Fangs in a more musical shape – were sold as early as the 1940s. (Other sources date them back to the ‘20s!)
While they seemed to pass hands through several companies over the years, the gimmick remained the same. This was a working whistle made from tasty, chewable wax that was sometimes marketed as “bubble gum,” even though you couldn’t blow bubbles with it, and could only chew it in the vein that one might chew the casing on Babybel cheese.
The popularity of Halloween Wowee Whistles rose and dipped many times. The ‘70s was one of their peak eras, but they were still very much a thing in the ‘80s, and even lasted through most of the ‘90s. It’s an interesting Halloween artifact in that people of wildly different ages could all have similar nostalgia for it. Your grandparents, your parents, hell, even you.
#38: “Beastman” Shaking Head! (1992)
Yeah, I’m still on my Telco bullshit. You’re just going to have to deal with it.
In 1992, the company – famous for the larger “motionettes” I’ve previously shown you – launched a series of Shaking Head Monsters. These diminutive demons used the same heads as the animated figures, but attached them to bell-shaped, battery-operated devices that caused them to scream and vibrate while their eyes lit up.
(If that sounds inelegant, it kinda was, but they masked the ugly doodad with flowing felt capes. Hung from the strings on their heads, the figures looked like swank apparitions.)
Most of the Shaking Head Monsters are on the inexpensive side, but not this guy. This is Beastman, a green-faced God-knows-what who was modified from Telco’s earlier Wolfman figure. One of my faves, and REALLY hard to find. Might be the only Telco monster who wasn’t clearly inspired by an existing character in pop culture.
This exact toy was famously seen in a classic Walgreens Halloween commercial from 1992. (And that commercial was just featured on the latest Purple Stuff Podcast. Talk about synergy!)
#37: Spookies Trade Ad! (1988)
This old trade ad tried to persuade video store owners to invest in Spookies, the 1986 horror movie with a hysterically complex history. Essentially two distinct productions merged into a single film, the disjointed final product would be easier to poke fun of if Spookies wasn’t so freakin’ awesome.
Don’t get me wrong. Through any objectively critical lens, Spookies has its problems and isn’t a “great” movie. Fortunately, this is Dinosaur Dracula, where objectively critical lenses go to die. I see a movie where people get killed by giant spiders and red-eyed grim reapers, and it’s an automatic A+.
I’ve said it before, but Spookies was one of the rare ‘80s horror movies that actually lived up to its wild VHS box art. Back then, the horror sections in video stores were full of cardboard lies, with distributors leaning on exaggerated art to sell their movies. With Spookies, you got exactly what was promised – nonstop monsters of every sort.
It also has a seriously bitchin’ score. Like John Carpenter by way of a $50 Casio keyboard.
#36: Carls Drugs Sunday Circular! (1987)
Carls Drugs was a NY-based pharmacy chain that traded in bric-a-brac as much as cold meds. This old Sunday circular is just more proof that pharmacies were the “Halloween hubs” of the ‘80s, and even part of the ‘90s. Places like Kmart may have had more in total, but when you needed the spooky staples, you went to the drug store.
It’s always fun to see candy in its classic packaging, but I’m really showing you this advertisement for its design. That creepy witch! Those pumpkin price tags! The oddly-structured text, which inadvertently coined the phrase, “Halloween Savings Treats!” I adore all of this.
I was a Sunday newspaper junkie as a kid, especially during the Halloween and Christmas seasons. Fortunately, the parts of the paper I liked – the comics and the ads – weren’t on my father’s radar. I used to gather that stuff to make my own “curated” paper, before running off to read in peace.
This Carls Drugs circular absolutely would’ve been in my stack. (Especially now that I’ve noticed the DuckTales promo on that Butterfinger bag.)
