The Creepy Commercials Countdown!
October 11th, 2012: “Real Ghostbusters Toys!” (1986)
Kids in action figure commercials make me so jealous. Just look at this awesome “giant city playset” they got to stage their battles from.
“Giant city playsets” were never for sale. Only kids in TV commercials got to play with them. And they got paid to do it. I want to kill them all.
I figure they’d be around my age today. My age, but rich, and with nice shoes, and with the fond memories of giant city playsets.
I’ll find them. Their success can’t come without a price.
The Real Ghostbusters was and remains one of the best toy lines ever, with fun, weird figures that came with ridiculous accessories, and in special cases, they ability to change color in cold water. You’ll see plenty of amazing toys in this ad, but the incredible thing is that they still only represent the tiniest fraction. If you liked what you saw here, there were a hundred other Real Ghostbusters toys that were even cooler.
Nah, I take that back. No other RGB figure was as good as the original Slimer. He came with a rubber pizza, a rubber steak and a rubber watermelon. Truly, these were action figure weapons that I could get behind.
I actually still have my Slimer, but his accessories have sadly been eaten by time. Not that I fault time for eating them. They looked delicious, and I myself could not resist the urge to chew that rubber pizza.
It didn’t really taste like pizza. I mean, it did a little, but only when I squinted. I think the biggest blessing of my life is that there’s no photo of me squinting while biting fake pizza.
Also featured is Bug-Eye Ghost. I had him, too. He was a big purple tumor with a humongous third eye. This third eye was attached to a string, and it popped out when you squeezed him. It’s a good thing it didn’t work so well, because the eye was made from a hard, heavy plastic, which could easily shatter concrete when the toy was misused.
Then there were the usual shots of ghosts eating Ghostbusters, or at least vomiting slime on them. Never gets old, never got old. Can I write that? “Never gets old, never got old?” Not sure if I’m just saying the same thing twice, there. I’ll just pretend it’s some old Johnny Cash lyric. It sounds like it could be one.