I wouldn’t call Arachnophobia one of my favorite movies, but I do love it. What’s not to love? Jeff Daniels and John Goodman square off against displaced killer spiders, which quickly turn a small California town into a human graveyard!

The film has a memorable flavor, and not just because it’s about spiders that kill people. It’s a horror movie, of course, but it’s a weirdly friendly one. Arachnophobia wasn’t targeted at the same audiences who might see a Friday the 13^th movie. Its producers wanted everyone. From cast to script to music, Arachnophobia is surprisingly smart and thoughtful. At least, it’s smarter and more thoughtful than a film about murderous spiders has any right to be.

Even with my own arachnophobic tendencies, I’ve always been a spider nut, and I totally saw this on the big screen back in 1990. I sat through most of the movie with my knees against my chest, and believe me, I wasn’t only one. (Leaving your feet on the ground was as good as taping a “LADDER FOR SPIDERS” sign on your leg.)

Below are my five favorite “spider moments” from Arachnophobia. Admittedly, this post works better if you’ve already seen the movie. If you haven’t, give it a shot. Even if you’re not particularly interested in maniacal spiders, it’s worth it for the random music that accompanies John Goodman whenever he walks onscreen. Over twenty years later, and I still get a kick out of John Goodman’s stupid entrance theme. Read More…

I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus.

To correctly identify these takes a lot of words, so I’m only going to do it once. Officially, they’re Raspberry Wild Berry Lemonade Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers. These are the Twizzlers that sit on Santa’s lap and ask for everything.

I’m calling them Patriotic Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers. It’s shorter. More alliterative.

Of course, I’m not entirely sure that they’re meant to celebrate our great nation. The colors are right, and the package is adorned with several fireworks, but the Hershey Company refused to take things any further. I guess that lets them sell these in other countries without making people explode. Read More…

In this issue of Vintage Vending: More dinosaurs!

I would’ve been all over this Dinosaur Museum set as a kid. (And given that I would’ve been of the appropriate age in 1985, I’m sad that I missed the chance.)

The stars were a series of skeletal figures, meant to represent museum-assembled dead dinosaurs.

Of course, if you didn’t want to play that way, you didn’t have to. Most kids probably skipped the “museum replicas” idea and headed straight for “living monster skeletons” territory, treating their tiny dinos as supernatural demons, sent to terrorize whatever other one-inch figures happened to be in their collections.

The teaser card’s bright reds and blues make me unnaturally happy, to the point where I felt compelled to research “color psychology.” Believe it or not, that’s a legit thing. Blue is supposed to relax you, while red is an “action color” that can actually raise your blood pressure. Looking at this card is like mixing uppers and downers. Read More…