Five Great Garth Things.
Garth Algar was the best part of Wayne’s World. If you disagree with this, we have a problem.
I saw the film on opening weekend back in ’92, in a theater packed with people who could not have loved it more. It was one of my all-time favorite moviegoer experiences. Everyone just had such a blast.
Dana Carvey played Garth, and this will be the only time I mention him. Carvey did such a great job that I’ve never been able to see Garth as anything but real. He’s not Dana Carvey in a wig and glasses. He’s just Garth. Secretly the coolest mofo on the planet.
Seeing the movie again a few nights back, all of those great Garth memories came rushing back. I wouldn’t say that I wanted to be Garth, but upon reviewing my favorite bits, it’s easy to see how much he inspired me. Garth was creative, marched to his own beat, and could find immense joy in absolutely nothing. It was played for laughs, but for me, it ran deeper. I actually looked up to Garth.
Here are my five favorite “Garth things.” It’s okay if you have a different list. There were a lot of great Garth things. But if your list doesn’t include the donut creatures somewhere, get bent.
#1: Garth’s Cocktail!
“Listen man! I’m not goin’ to jail for you, or anybody!”
At the bar where Benjamin makes his sneaky pitch to buy the show, Garth orders THE BEST DRINK I HAVE EVER SEEN. Look at that thing! Some kind of Blue Curacao cocktail served in a literal punchbowl!
I have a thing for goofy and gaudy Polynesian cocktails, and this one is the end all, be all. It’s garnished with everything from a pineapple stem to a goddamned fringy foil 4th of July decoration! BEST DRINK EVER.
Note how the punchbowl portion is completely separate from the (already huge) cocktail glass, each containing liquids that can never mix. As a kid, I took this as a production goof, but looking back, it was probably intentional. They wanted this to be the most ridiculous drink possible, and they succeeded.
I generally end my drinking nights happier when I stick to beer or wine, but Garth’s cocktail set off a never-ending fascination with neon colored fruit madness. When I’m at a bar that serves drinks presented even remotely like this, I have to order them. To date, I’ve not found one as hilariously overdone as Garth’s, but that just gives me an excuse to keep trying. Read More…
SPOTTED: Adventures in Babysitting Edition!
Hey, remember Dino Drac’s “Spotted” series? Where we locate random fun things hiding in old TV shows and movies? Probably not, since I only made one entry. I think we’re long overdue for a second.
Today’s find is from 1987’s Adventures in Babysitting, the kind-of-classic starring Elisabeth Shue, whose character has an… uh… adventure while babysitting. I’ll forever remember the film for making “Don’t fuck with the Lords of Hell” a permanent part of my non sequitur reserve.
It’s a cute little movie, but I’m not here to regurgitate its IMDB plot summary. I’m here for what’s on the shelf in the little girl’s bedroom. Read More…
Crazy ’90s Bubble Gum!
New readers: You can see more old bubble gum over here and over here!
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In today’s issue: Four strange brands of bubble gum from the ‘90s! (Actually, the assorted gums are all perfectly normal. It’s the containers that are weird.)
What looks like old candy is really so much more. These gum brands are windows into our collective past. The parts we liked, and the parts we’d rather forget. Mostly the latter. Let’s chew. Read More…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet!
I normally pay attention to Chia Pets only around Christmas, but since I was so busy a few months ago, I didn’t get to keep up the tradition. Maybe this is why I’ve felt so hollow. Thank God for the Ninja Turtles.
Spotted just last night, it’s the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet, which I think we can take as proof positive that Nickelodeon’s new series is doing pretty well.
I’ve barely paid attention to the new show. Don’t yell at me. I’ve already heard about how great it is, and about how it’s such a perfect balance of nostalgia and new hotness, and about the unlimited extra-vowel Krangs. I’ll get to it, and I’ll love it.
Still, I have to admit that the show’s success took me by surprise. This isn’t the first time TMNT has been brought back, and with all previous attempts, it never seemed to truly click. With the new series, you can’t say the same. I haven’t looked up the ratings or anything, but the fans are obviously there, and they’re not treating it like “just another show.”
How can I put this? The new series just seems so revered.
I have seen all of the toys, of course, and they’re great. You’ll never catch me admitting that the new figures are better than the ones I grew up with, even if my brain knows that they are. In particular, I’m impressed with how creative the new line has been. It’s anything but barebones, and anything but rushed. What could’ve been the simplest doodads were approached with such wacky gusto, and even from afar, from “show” to “stuff” and everything in between, it’s easy to see that the new Turtles are firing on all cylinders.
And yeah, now they have a Chia Pet. Read More…