BFCDAW #5: Honey Balls.
Today’s painting depicts HONEY BALLS. (And also a candy cane bee.)
Honey Balls are marble-sized bits of fried dough, soaked with honey and topped with colored sprinkles.
My mother brings them to all of our Christmas parties, and she’s been at it for decades. I despise the things, but God help her if she ever stops making them. I may not enjoy eating Honey Balls, but Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a big foil pan of ‘em out on the table, where, over the course of several hours, they will merge together into one unbreakable Super Honey Ball.
I’m not sure why I don’t like them. Honey-soaked fried dough sounds like something that would be really hard to dislike.
If you’re curious, here’s a recipe. Apparently, Honey Balls are an Italian thing. Have to admit, I love my Italian Christmases, but there sure are a lot of associated dishes that do not work for me. (“Hi, here’s a salad. Actually no, it’s a plate of raw fish organs. Wash it down with this wine that tastes like burnt oak and feet.”
On the bright side, Honey Balls are pretty little monsters. They look nice on the table. I think that’s the real point of them. They’re the parsley of Christmas desserts. (Actually, you should eat parsley, but don’t get me started. It’s one of my weird triggers.)
Tell me, strangers and friends. Are there any foods that you consider a must-see at your holiday celebrations, even if you’d personally never eat them?
Also: Dino Drac’s 1st Christmas has been made official, thanks to Jason’s latest killer header (dig that painted dino – and yes, he really was painted) and the unearthing of the old X-E Christmas Jukebox! (Which you’ll have to work to find, but not very hard.)
My schedule for December blows, but I will not let that ruin my favorite time of year. Even if I only have five minutes a day to enjoy the holidays, goddammit, I will! Fa la fuckin’ la.
BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.
More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work!
This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs.
Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these crabs, the larger coconut crabs (SWOON) and the fact that it’s an island named after Christmas, no flight is too long and no expense is too great. When I retire, I will live among the Christmas Islanders and spend my waning days wondering why I wasted my good ones elsewhere.
Also, since I have so many working days between now and Christmas, BFCDAW posts are going to be a necessity. And, honestly, I just really like painting bad pictures. There may be two dozen more posted between now and Christmas. Deal with it.
1998’s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!
When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal.
But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further than 1998’s Bedrock Blizzard promotion. Not once did it use the word “Christmas,” but with a snowy motif and the image of Fred Flintstone wearing green earmuffs, we all knew the deal. This was as rife with holiday spirit as flying reindeer or After Eight thin mints.
For the Bedrock Blizzard version of Fruity Pebbles, the multicolored boulders gained a coat of snowy frosting. This tempered the cereal’s overwhelming fruitiness with deep sugary hues, though I doubt that Post ever described things that way. I really need to work on my sales copy. Sometimes I feel like Van Alden with a steam iron. Read More…
BFCDAW #3: Snobot.
