Halloween is fast approaching, and I have so much wonderful stuff left to cover. This post aims to decrease the number of bullets on my Must-Write-About list by five. I’ll feel better about the world when it’s done.

SpongeBob Plastic Cup with Straw: I could not have fewer uses for this, but for two bucks, who could pass up a pumpkin-themed SpongeBob head? I am mortal, not god.

Of course, now that I actually sit here and look at the thing, it’s obviously just a repainted regular SpongeBob head. It’s the normal mold, with not even a modified tooth to tell you that this is a special edition SpongeBob who serves Satan.

Don’t care. Still love it. It’s orange, but more specifically, it’s the best kind of “Halloween orange.”

Halloween orange knows many shades, from bright neon to dim and earthy. This one is smack in the middle. Like a wad of perfect cheddar, from a cheesemaker who really took pride in it.

EDIT: I’m a fool. There are defined “pumpkin lines” all over SpongeBob’s head. So this really was a custom mold. Now he’s triple great. Read More…

For the third year in a row, McDonald’s brought back the ol’ trick-or-treat pails. Think of them as the spiritual successors to the “McBoo” pails of the ‘80s. What they lack in charm, they make up for in sooo many stickers!

2012’s pails have a Scooby-Doo theme. This surprised me. I was unaware of any recent Scooby-Doo exploits that could possibly warrant co-branded buckets stuffed with greasy food. What has this dog been up to?

Hmm. Looks like it came with a coupon for the Big Top Scooby-Doo DVD. I guess that’s it? Must be.

I never heard of that movie until now. If Wikipedia can be believed, there’s a very good reason to see it: Mindy Cohn supplies the voice of Velma. Why didn’t I know this? You’ll probably remember her as Natalie Green, but let’s not forget Mindy’s legendary spot on Celebrity Ghost Stories, where she battled against Pasadena’s trickiest dead kid. I love Mindy Cohn.

There are three different pails available, but at different times. You’re supposed to eat at McDonald’s all through October if you want a shot at a full collection.

Fortunately, I got the one I wanted most, right off the bat. The white one, with the ten decapitated Scooby-Doo heads on it. It called to me. Read More…

Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle.

I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night. My Friday night, for those keeping score. I wish being a loser paid better.

I didn’t use anything special. Just some construction paper, markers, and an old pair of scissors that made noises like a dying rat upon every cut.

Dying rats do not make fun noises. Like strings from the Psycho theme mixed with someone throwing up. Read More…