BFCDAW #1: Troll 2 Fan Art.
Even as Dinosaur Dracula was still under construction, I knew I’d run into issues balancing my professional life with the site. I hoped it wouldn’t happen ten minutes after launching, but it wasn’t a huge surprise when it did.
I vowed to incorporate my workday into Dino Drac’s content. Had grand visions of spending my lunch hour scouring the streets of New York for interesting things to take photos of and write about, because surely, there are plenty of interesting things in New York to take photos of and write about.
Problem is, I don’t really get a “lunch hour.” I don’t know many people who do. And, frankly, it’s going to take a special set of circumstances or some really good pills to persuade me to spend those rare moments of calm running up and down 34th Street, looking for guys in giant hamburger costumes to snap pictures of.
But I still think it’s important to “work work” into the site, somehow. Even if it’s in entirely stupid ways. It’s with those feelings that I not-so-proudly present the first entry in my hot new series.
Let’s call it, Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work.
This is Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work #1.
It’s about my attempt to squeeze in time for Troll 2 fan art.
It was a good day to try it. I had my own room, so at least in theory, nobody would catch me recreating one of the Troll 2 goblins on a legal pad, using a Sharpie, highlighter and some dry erase board markers.
My inspiration came from this fansite, since they had a great image of my favorite Troll 2 goblin. Not sure what his (her?) name is, but here’s the monster:
Troll 2 is famously bad, but I’ve grown to enjoy it in a completely non-ironic way. It isn’t a horror movie I can watch a thousand times in a row (hi there, Friday the 13th Part 2), but it still has everything I like from these sorts of films: Wacky monsters, great deaths, and errant houseflies entering the frame at the absolute worst times to do so.
The goblin costumes were terrible, but weirdly effective. The fact that they were so chintzy actually made them creepy, and if you watch Troll 2 with the volume muted, I’d almost be willing to claim that it’s a sincerely scary movie. Almost.
Anyway, that guy up there? He’s the greatest. The hair. That slimy slobber. Two completely different eyeballs. If I was going to make goblin fan art with office supplies, this was the goblin to choose. Read More…
Berry Blue Jell-O Recipes.
Berry Blue Jell-O arrived in 1992, and the fanfare — at least in my imagined version of things — was enormous.
Here were raspberries and blueberries, finally putting aside their differences to take over the planet. This was perhaps the first signal of the “blue candy” craze that would stain the nation throughout the ‘90s.
I don’t know what the truth was, but we had our rumors. In my neighborhood, the story was that a ban on blue food dye had finally been lifted, freeing confectioners to make everything look like sea water from a tropical hotel brochure.
True or not, the story seemed to fit. All through the ‘90s, everything was coming out blue. Blue M&Ms and blue Blow Pops were the kings of this burgeoning fad, but it didn’t end there. Not by a long shot. Even foods that made no sense being blue, became blue.
For a time, every kid I knew spent their days wandering around with blue-tinted tongues. It was weird and great.
And this? This is something Jell-O calls the Star Spangled Snack. Found the recipe in a Berry Blue promo booklet from its debut year. As soon as I saw the Star Spangled Snack, I knew I had to make it. It isn’t electric sex gleaming in the window, but it is electric blue Jell-O gleaming on a wooden plank.
How to do it, and it’s real easy:
Make red Jell-O. Make blue Jell-O. Cut into half-inch squares. Create a layer with the red squares. Add a second layer of Cool Whip. Third layer of blue squares. Top with another dollop of Cool Whip, adorned with a sugar-sprinkled marshmallow.
The end result? Something that photographs better than a Baby Pygmy Marmoset, trained to give cameramen a thumbs-up. Read More…
Vlog: Real Ghostbusters Proton Pack.
I was always more into the action figures, but The Real Ghostbusters collection was truly a “pretend play” pioneer.
The Proton Pack came out in 1986. Every boy I knew had one. There was no room for “maybes” on the chance to become a real, live Ghostbuster.
A chance to make lots of noise! A chance to smack a big foam rod into things! A chance to catch ghosts!
Learn more in today’s shitty vlog:
Rekindling this flame has completely reinvigorated my spark for all things Slimer.
Real Ghostbusters toys still have legions of fans, but I don’t think they get enough credit. If you think about how outside-the-box those toys were, from the ballsy weird figures to the ridiculous kid-scale equipment, it’s easy to believe that there will never again be a line a playthings so great in such a variety of ways.
After the jump, see a few more pictures of the Proton Pack. I took ‘em, so I might as well post ‘em. Read More…
Photo of the Georges.
I grew up swearing that “Brain” was the best Gremlin ever.
He isn’t.
You might remember Brain from Gremlins 2. He’s the one who gained the ability to speak, and used that ability to sing “New York, New York” while other Gremlins sorted through crates of plastic explosives.
Brain was a great Gremlin, but he wasn’t the best.
George was the best.
Since I’ve written about my George obsession no less than a hundred times over the years, I’ll keep this brief.
From that gnarly-but-cute scowl to the legendary “mi-cro-waf” scene, George quietly became the ultimate Gremlin.
Better than Mohawk. Better than the one that turned into vegetables. Yes, even better than Brain.
Point of this: The toy gods at NECA semi-recently released the latest wave of Gremlins action figures, and George was among them – both in his Gremlin form, and his super swank fuzzy Mogwai form.
Because there was no way to choose between them without invoking a total mental breakdown, I bought both.
I took photos, of course. The problem is, I can’t decide which of these two photos is better:
Is it this one, with its red-to-purple paper background?
Or is it this one, which presents George the Gremlin and George the Mogwai as rock collectors, out on the hunt?
Opinions, please? There can only be one true Photo of the Georges. If I’m going to get a hundred wallet-sized versions run off, I need to choose wisely.
Thanks in advance.
Dead serious about the wallet photos, by the way. Snapfish is open and waiting in another tab.