Dinosaur Dracula!

Forget Captain Planet. Meet Captain POLLUTION!

Captain Pollution is the best thing that ever came out of the Captain Planet universe. Fight me.

There’s my dude. Captain Planet’s evil double, which is pretty much my all-time favorite trope. Powered by pollution and sounding like a dickhead version of Michelangelo, Captain Pollution didn’t appear often, but when he did, OH MAN. Lights off, volume up, popcorn popped.

If Captain Pollution is news to you, below are five facts that will help you feign expertise. Remember, the polluting power is yours. Read More…

Five Random Action Figures, Part 44!

To keep this edition of Five Random Action Figures on-brand for Cruel Summer, I will only feature figures that have some tangential tie to the season. Enjoy!

Mike, The Sewer Surfer!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

This screwball Michelangelo was from a set of TMNT figures that gave our heroes intense new costumes, and even new occupations. (Raph became an astronaut, Don became a sneaky detective… you get the picture.)

Since every kid who collected TMNT toys started with the original Turtles, it made sense for Playmates to keep redressing them. To their credit, these “extra” Turtles weren’t cheap cash-grabs with rudimentary facelifts. Each had a mold all its own, and they were littered with so many details that the first wave of figures seemed positively antique by comparison.

Just look at all of the little touches on Mikey. Seaweed! Baby sharks! Gnarly crabs! Hell, I’ve had this guy for 30 years, and I’m only now noticing the octopus on his foot. Read More…

5 Horror Movie Popcorn Scenes!

I love popcorn! I love popcorn so much that I get extraordinarily excited when it turns up in movies. Especially horror movies, where it often becomes a prop in bizarre murders involving alien clowns or unreasonably toxic spiders.

Below: Five scenes from horror movies that feature popcorn. I know what you like to read about.

Scream! (1996)

During Scream’s perfect opening scene, Casey (Drew Barrymore) plays along with a “harmless” prank call that soon leads to her death. That’s the too-simple summary, because it’s hard to me to go into particulars when all I wanna talk about is THAT JIFFY POP.

While on the phone, Casey’s shakes an adorable Jiffy Pop pan over the stove. You know, the one that creates a big tinfoil “brain” of popcorn. I’ve cooked Jiffy Pop a hundred times, and it never ceases to amaze me. I can’t blame Casey for her poor sense of foreboding during that call, because when I’m making Jiffy Pop, it’s all I’m able to focus on, too.

Jiffy Pop has been around since 1959 and certainly didn’t need pub from Scream to survive, but I’m still convinced that it’s this scene that made Jiffy Pop such a thing with people of my generation. Hell, even 20+ years later, it’s still cashing residuals. Read More…

Dino Drac’s June Funpack is here!

I wanted this month’s Funpack to reflect Cruel Summer’s dual sunny/spooky theme, and I’m pretty sure I succeeded!


Behold! There are around a dozen items in Dino Drac’s June Funpack, featuring a perfect mix of summertime treats and spooky horrors — along with a ragtag bunch of retro collectibles.

Usual spiel: Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll get a new package of old, cool junk every single month! You can cancel at any time without penalty, of course!

There wouldn’t be a Dino Drac without your subscriptions, so on top of getting a bunch of fun things, you’re also helping to keep the site going!

Scroll to the bottom for more info, or keep reading to see everything you’ll get in the June Funpack!

With Fallen Kingdom about to hit theaters, nostalgia for the original Jurassic Park is peaking. Make good on those warm fuzzies with this pair of vintage 1993 Jurassic Park buttons! (Yes, you will get BOTH!)

Included are the Camp Jurassic Park button, along with a semi-psychedelic tyrannosaur pin. Both buttons were officially licensed and are genuine 1993 originals!

PS: These double as this month’s Dino Drac Specimen. Buttons are in great shape considering their age, with no rust or really much wear at all. Read More…

The Jaws Bar Ice Pop Taste Test!

It is my great honor to introduce you to the coolest thing on Earth: THE JAWS BAR.

If you listened to the last Purple Stuff episode, you heard us gush about these incredible shark-shaped treats, which are made in South Korea. So did our friend Nicole, who discovered that they were actually available at a semi-local store!

Naturally, I had to have them. Here’s my video review:


Seriously guys, these things are fantastic. Shark-shaped popsicles filled with strawberry shark guts! AND THEY’RE NAMED AFTER JAWS! I can’t imagine a more appropriate treat for Cruel Summer. They totally took over my weekend, and it was so worth it.

Enjoy the video, and if you decide that you need a Jaws Bar, check your nearest Asian food market. Ya might get lucky! Read More…

Video: Talking Cryptkeeper “Beach Bum” Doll!

Guys! I found the perfect subject for Cruel Summer’s first video:

That thing. A Talking Cryptkeeper doll from 1993, where our pal is randomly dressed like a beach bum. Dude could be the mascot for Cruel Summer.

Here’s everything you need to know about this sunny savage, in just under five minutes:


The doll was sold under the Tales from the Cryptkeeper banner, which was a (pretty successful) attempt to turn the goriest show on television into a kid-targeted animated series. Even so, this doll more closely resembled our pal from his live action appearances, where he was extra gnarly and meat-like. Read More…