Dinosaur Dracula!

My ALF Halloween Costume Story.

I have a story for you. It’s pretty long, so sit down and for God’s sake close your other tabs.

It’s about ALF.

Gordon Motherfuckin’ Shumway. I haven’t written much about ALF on Dino Drac, but make no mistake, he was my main dude. ALF was my hero and my muse, and his TV show was a can’t-miss affair. My daily mantra basically amounted to WWAD?

Naturally, at the peak of ALF’s popularity, I decided that I had to be him for Halloween.


That would’ve been 1987, when I was in the third grade. To date, it was the only time that I was ever laser focused on any one specific Halloween costume. Nothing else would do. It was ALF or bust. ALF or tear my hair out. ALF or DEATH.

And I didn’t want the shitty baby costume shown above, either. I’d been down that mask-and-smock road before. It was okay for kindergarteners, but I was in the third grade now. My ALF costume needed to be 80 times more legit. Read More…

Dino Drac’s Halloween 2016 Funpack!

Look dudes, you’re too old to go trick-or-treating. This Halloween, you’re gonna have to treat yourself. And I have just the thing!


Dino Drac’s Halloween 2016 Funpack is finally here, and baby, it’s loaded. There are around a dozen items in every box, and they’re all SUPER SPOOKY.

For those who haven’t been paying attention — and God, I need a copy/paste version of this spiel — I sell monthly Funpacks. They’re 25 bucks a month (including shipping), and for as long as you stay subscribed, you’ll keep receiving new boxes of wacky goodies every month. (You can cancel at any time without penalty, of course!)

The Funpacks fund the site, and without them, there’d be no Dino Drac. So on top of getting boxes of retro-and-new nonsense each month, you’re also helping to keep the site stocked with silly articles about trivial junk. Yay!


I’m pretty happy with how the October 2016 Funpack came together, and I think you will be, too. Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to see everything you’ll get in this month’s box! Read More…

Real Ghostbusters Shrinky Dinks!

Shrinky Dinks were invented in the early ‘70s, but it wasn’t until the ‘80s that their popularity exploded. That’s when the color-and-bake sheets of polystyrene plastic caught the attention of major toy companies, leading to dedicated Shrinky Dinks sets for He-Man, Rainbow Brite and every neon weirdo in between.

The sets are still in production today, but the themes are usually of the generic sort. (Think ballerinas and mermaids.) Sadly, Shrinky Dinks have become so obscure that only a small fraction of you were probably even aware of their continued existence.

If you grew up during their heyday, you know that they deserve better!


Take this Real Ghostbusters Shrinky Dinks kit, for example. Like Taylor Dayne’s Tell it to My Heart, it’s from 1988.

If you’ve forgotten how Shrinky Dinks work, don’t worry. I totally ruined my vintage set for your benefit. Remember this when I’m older and grayer and need major surgery. Here’s to 2017. Read More…

2016’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

I’ll say one thing about this year’s crop of Halloween junk food: It sure is big.

Sooo many brands are only now taking their first swings at Halloween or autumnal releases, and good luck trying to sample it all by October 31st. The 2016 season hasn’t had many shout-from-the-rooftop standouts, but if going by sheer volume, it’s been aces.

Here are five more junk foods that you need to eat — or at least take a picture of — before Halloween:


Entenmann’s Halloween Donuts!

Um, YES. There are a whole bunch of Halloween treats out from Entenmann’s, but for my money, nothing pops quite like this “simple” box of donuts.

Joining the mainstay chocolate and white powdered varieties is an ORANGE powdered version. The orange donuts don’t taste any different from the white ones, but flavor isn’t the point. The draw is that they look like Halloween in its purest form. Linus would serve these to the Great Pumpkin.

This feels like a throwback to the Halloween promotions of the ‘80s and ‘90s, when the focus wasn’t on potential internet buzz. There’s nothing flashy or provocative about orange donuts, and that’s why I love them. They’re the cheap plastic hockey masks of Halloween snacks, where perfection is achieved while you’re still in first gear.

GRADE: A+. Read More…

Dino Drac’s Envelope of Evil III!

If you like to spend the Halloween season making frivolous purchases, this should be up your alley:


Yes, it’s the return of Dino Drac’s Envelope of Evil! The third edition is stuffed with strange reading material and goofy goodies, and you can take it all home for twenty bucks shipped! (Via Priority Mail, to boot!)

I should warn the pickier among you that Dino Drac’s October Funpack is debuting in just a few days, so if you can only afford to buy one stupid thing from me, I won’t hold it against you if you’d prefer to wait. That said, quantities are super limited, and once these are gone, they ain’t coming back!


For twenty bucks, you’ll get everything shown above, shoved neatly into a USPS Priority Mail envelope. In a happy coincidence, I noticed that every Envelope of Evil contains something from the ‘70s, something from ‘80s and something from ‘90s. So you’re technically getting three decades’ worth of weirdness, here. Hard sell!

Ordering info is at bottom, but first, a closer look at everything in Dino Drac’s Envelope of Evil III! Read More…

Vicious Videocassette Boxes, Volume VI!

Welcome back to Vicious Videocassette Boxes, an ongoing series of tributes to… vicious videocassette boxes.

There are many who collect old tapes out of sincere affinity for the format, but I’ll come out and admit that I treat videocassettes more as decorations. They’re like little three-dimensional posters, and I like to clap them like fragile chalkboard erasers.

Still, while most of these movies have been been re-released in more modern formats, there’s something to be said for watching them this way. Improved picture and sound do not always make for improved viewing experiences. All that fuzz and hissing often complement the intended ambiance!


Blockbuster Presents: Halloween! (1995)

I shouldn’t need to tell you that this wasn’t Halloween’s first VHS release. More incredible is that fact that it wasn’t even its last!

I already had the original release, but how could I turn down a version that preyed on my Michael Myers fanship and my nostalgia for Blockbuster Video?

The box design was exclusive to Blockbuster’s version, though I suppose it was no improvement over the original’s “stabbing pumpkin” logo. On the other hand, the original design never made me think of paper-thin carpets and Nestle Goobers. Read More…