Dinosaur Dracula!

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 16!

After a special holiday delay, the latest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is finally ready!


Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are both enormous Star Wars fans, and with The Force Awakens mere weeks from debuting, it seemed only fitting to do a Star Wars show. If you can’t stand Rodians, turn away now.

Episode 16 is called Force Flashbacks, where we share ten super random memories that all have some loose tie to Darth Vader or Jabba or both. We’re covering everything from Star Tours to that old Jedi-fueled episode of Muppet Babies!

(Spoiler avoiders: The show isn’t really about The Force Awakens, so you’re safe!)

Give us a listen by clicking the giant play button below!


You can also download the MP3 directly at this link.

The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on iTunes, Stitcher and Podbean. As always, we don’t care how you listen, so long as you do! Read More…

The Mostly-Complete History of Ecto Cooler.

Midway through Thanksgiving, the news broke: Coca-Cola has renewed its trademark for Ecto Cooler, signaling mass speculation that the ghoulish green beverage just might be returning as part of the Ghostbusters reboot push.

This trademark renewal does not in of itself guarantee Ecto Cooler’s return, but given the timing, it sure sounds that way! Besides, many of us already felt that this was a can’t-miss opportunity and a now-or-never situation: Ghostbusters is suddenly a very hot brand again, and interest in Ecto Cooler is at an all-time high.

I suspect that official word with trickle down soon enough, but given that the whole internet is presently ablaze with Ecto Cooler excitement, I don’t see how they couldn’t do it now. This, of course, is the biggest motherfucking news in the history of everything.

As many of you know, Ecto Cooler has been the “totem item” of everything I’ve done online for the past 15 years. If it’s indeed on its way back, I thought now would be the perfect time to walk you through the (mostly) complete history of this magnificent, galvanizing beverage…

(The first edition of the juice box!)

Hi-C Ecto Cooler was born in late 1989. While most have attributed this to the success of The Real Ghostbusters, the drink’s arrival seems equally linked to the theatrical debut of Ghostbusters II. In any event, between the animated series and the live action sequel, Slimer’s popularity was booming. (You’ll notice that Ecto Cooler was promoted more as “Slimer’s drink” than a “Ghostbusters drink.”)

Less known is that this actually wasn’t some wholly new flavor from Hi-C. In fact, Ecto Cooler was merely a rebranding of their existing Citrus Cooler Drink, which looked and tasted exactly the same, and was even spotted in television commercials mere months before Ecto Cooler hit the shelves! Read More…

Happy Thanksgiving, 2015!


Happy Thanksgiving! (You know, if you celebrate it.)

Consider this a hangout thread. In the comments, feel free to share stories about how you’ll be spending the holiday. Did you make any special dishes? Are you doomed for any twelve hour drives? Gonna watch a big ass inflatable Power Ranger float over 34th Street? (Or… gulp… are you stuck working?)

Me, currently: It’s technically Thanksgiving, but really just late Wednesday night. We’re washing clothes, making stuffed mushrooms and trying to strategize the best way to hit two completely different family parties without missing the best aspects from either.

I’m taking a break for a cup of tea, which I don’t normally drink, and am only doing so because another cup of coffee will cause me to instantly drop dead. I hear Roseanne on in the other room — it’s the Thanksgiving episode, wherein Crystal and Ed lay the groundwork for their unlikely tryst. The air stinks of good food and tree-scented candles. I love all of this.

When I wake up, I’ll put on the parade and we’ll finish up the cooking. By this time tomorrow night, I’ll be plowed, enormous, and ready to live in a blanket fort for the remainder of my days.

Thanksgiving marks the true start of the holiday season. A time when we can find joy and purity in congested shopping malls. A time when a casual drives around the neighborhood make you way happier than is reasonable. A whole month of beautifully artificial niceties, gaudy decorations, sweaters, scarves and Snoopy. Yesssss.

Today, I’m thankful for you guys, who’ve justified my continued existence as a Forever Kid. And I’d like to think that we’ve all kind of been that together.

Have a wonderful holiday. Get drunk and say something stupid. Report back. Read More…

Another Batch of Ancient Holiday Appetizers!

Ah, it’s that time of year again! Time to make funky appetizers from the 1960s!


As longtime readers know, I’m obsessed with old cookbooks. Specifically, cookbooks from that weird stretch of years when every other recipe called for unflavored gelatin. This obsession hits a fever pitch during the holiday season, because even if the cookbooks made no such claims, every appetizer in them sounds Christmassy to me.

After spending many years simply reading these ancient recipes, I’ve spent the last few years actively putting them to use. In 2012 and again in 2014, you’ve seen the results of these bizarre experiments. Some of the appetizers were doubtlessly in bad taste by today’s standards, but despite such reader responses as “no thanks” and “that’s literally shit,” most of them turned out better than they sounded.

Below are five more recipes for ancient holiday appetizers, predominantly plucked from the pages of hardbound Better Homes and Gardens books from the 1960s.

Thing to note: I’ve tried all of these, and ALL of them are good. I swear.



To be honest, I only made this Avocado-Cranberry Salad because it sounded like a good photo. Little did I know that the ridiculous components of avocado slices, cubes of cranberry sauce and goddamned french dressing would make for something that I’d make-and-eat even when there wasn’t a Dino Drac review on the line.

My description won’t be much help, but here it goes: It’s like the free salad course from a mid-level restaurant that desperately wants you to think it’s fancy. There’s a fine line between class and trash, and I’ve come to realize that pure nirvana exists squarely on that line. This salad is boss.

Start with a bed of lettuce. Add diced celery, avocado slices and chunks of jellied cranberry sauce. Drizzle with french dressing. The cookbook I got this from offered no photographic assistance, but the dish still looked like it belonged on its front cover. This is so ‘60s. Read More…

He-Man at the 1985 Macy’s Parade!

Did you know that He-Man and She-Ra appeared at the 1985 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? It’s true! And I’ll be showing you the proof! Just you wait!


Masters of the Universe was on top of the world in 1985, so it made sense that it’d snag an appearance at the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Of course, where a giant Orko balloon might’ve sufficed, Mattel had much more ambitious ideas:

They were gonna stage a massive Eternian war across a giant, three-part float.

I’ve pulled the clip from my rapidly degrading old videocassette. If you’re not sitting down, you might want to:

Guys, we have a LOT to talk about.

Full disclosure: I wrote about this float back in my X-Entertainment days. Longtime readers know that my old Macy’s Parade reviews were some of X-E’s hottest commodities. But that was well over ten years ago, and I kinda breezed through He-Man’s appearance. Forgive me for going back to the well on this, but I think it’s merited.

Now then… THE FLOAT. It was huge, awesome and utterly confusing. It was also an idea that arguably made more sense on paper. Covered with cumbersomely costumed characters, and representing three focal areas from Masters of the Universe lore, nobody can claim that Mattel skimped on the production. If anything, they tried to do more than was humanly possible.

Still, no matter how you slice it, this was the most badass thing a kid could see back in ’85. Let me walk you through the series of events, because no matter how many times you watch that clip, you’re gonna miss somethingRead More…

2015’s Best Holiday Junk Food, Part 2!

I’m so impressed with this year’s holiday junk food haul. We usually get a few neat things, but it seems like Christmas has finally adopted Halloween’s strategy of turning every imaginable snack into something for-the-now-and-now-only.

I already showed you five of this year’s best yuletide edibles. Below are another five. And I still have enough left to knock out 2-3 more additions to this series before December ends. We’re all gonna be so huge.


Cheetos Sweetos!

These actually debuted last Easter, but I much prefer the new winter digs. Cheetos Sweetos replace the usual cheesy dust with cinnamon and sugar, forging weird faux onion rings that smell exactly like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It’s like junk food’s version of The Homer.

I admire the effort, but I can’t call them a favorite. Cinnamon doesn’t blend into Cheeto meat as well as cheese does, so it’s like a flash of sugary flavors followed by three difficult bites of bland, naked Cheetos. They’re not disgusting or anything, but if I’m going to allow myself Cheeto levels of saturated fat, I think I need actual cheese.

Plus side? The shiny purple bag makes you feel like you’re buying a 1992 comic book with an exploitative limited edition cover. Read More…