The Purple Stuff Podcast’s holiday tradition continues! For the sixth straight year, we’re ready to boost your playlists with another batch of our favorite Christmas songs!
With so many volumes under our belt, this was a tall order! Me and Jay from Sludge Central dug deep to come up with ten more picks for 2020, with artists ranging from Leona Lewis to, uh, Alpha 5.
This is one of our favorite shows to do each year, and we’re glad to give ya a little distraction during this highly unusual holiday season. Prime your ears for music from Garfield, Kylie Minogue and Scooby-Doo!
As a reminder, the Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an additional bonus show every month. Thanks so much for all of your support over there. December’s bonus episode is dropping soon! Read More…
If you’re already a Dino Drac Funpack subscriber, good news: You’re among the only people locked in for the December Funpack!
For the rest of ya: Subscriptions are maxed out for this month, but I will have a few spares to sell once I finish the first shipments. Skip to the bottom for info on how to get on the waiting list — it’ll be first come, first serve!
(AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!)
Soooo, ALL THAT SAID, here we are! The December 2020 Funpack, where I tried to create the perfect Christmas morning and fit it inside a hefty brown box. Read More…
There are some big swings in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials, so if you thought I’d be down to the dregs by now, THINK AGAIN.
A Fruity Pebbles Christmas! (1986)
I’ve covered this spot before, but in an ancient article that’s unrelated to this series. Forgive me for double-dipping, but this one *needed* to be a part of Classic Christmas Commercials.
I don’t know if I’d call it my favorite Christmas commercial now, but it certainly was during childhood. I was obsessed with this ad, which for me was a bigger indicator of the holiday season’s arrival than even those ringing Hershey’s Kisses.
Santa squashing Fred and Barney’s longstanding cereal beef was THE feel-good moment of the ‘80s. It came off less like a commercial and more like a thirty-second prime time special. It wasn’t just a lucky break for Post, either — everything from the animation to the sound design was several steps beyond the typical Pebbles Cereal TV spot. This was made to be major, and it was!
Every time this came on television, it was an instant dopamine hit. I’m surprised that Post hasn’t yanked it out for a nostalgia run, since the most-affected people are now choosing cereals for their own kids.
Snuggle Bear Christmas Ornament! (1986)
As some of you know, I’m in love with Snuggle Bear. Always have been. While the more recent “iterations” have been cute, nothing beats the original Snuggle Bear — literally a teddy bear come to life, with a voice that taught me about ASMR before it was even an acronym.
Back then, my adoration was almost painful. It was another “Gizmo situation” where I wanted nothing more than my own pet Snuggle Bear, but had absolutely no way to get one. Living, breathing teddy bears just didn’t exist.
This commercial — specifically the last fifteen seconds — shows Snuggle Bear at his all-time cutest. Just you try not to adore Snuggle Bear as he crawls out of a fireplace wearing a Santa hat, giggling at himself. Seriously guys, my kingdom for this fucking bear.
(And yeah, I fully intend to grab an official 1986 Snuggle Bear tree ornament from eBay. Might not get here until after Christmas, but since I intend to hang it from my rearview mirror, that’s okay!) Read More…
I’m posting this on a Saturday night, which doesn’t strike me as the best time to launch thousand-word articles about milkshakes and peppermint bark. Oh well. It’ll still be here on Monday.
Get set for the second edition of 2020’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food. If you missed the first edition, it’s over here.
Cheetos Popcorn Tin!
(Found at Walmart)
Christmas isn’t Christmas without the traditional three-flavor popcorn tin, but if I was going to allow any substitution, it’d be for this sexy thing.
I love the weird modernity of it. You know there will come a day when I find that popcorn tin at the back of a closet and think, “Wow, that’s so 2020.”
Inside are individual bags of Cheddar and Flamin’ Hot™ Cheetos Popcorn. The tin doesn’t include a cardboard divider, but that’s okay, because the best way to present those two flavors is by mixing ’em together and letting each handful act as a game of hot-or-not roulette.
GRADE: A+. If you’ve never had Flamin’ Hot™ Cheetos Popcorn, it’s spicy, but not excessively so. The red color mostly comes from food dye. Like, enough food dye to camouflage one of those extra-big elephants from LOTR.
Pepsi Apple Pie!
Sorry, you’re not going to find this in stores. 1500 bottles of Pepsi Apple Pie were given away on social media, and I was among the winners. If you’re envious, just keep in mind that this free bottle of soda was pretty much the best thing to happen to me the entire year.
I’ve heard that Pepsi does have plans for an eventual retail rollout, and GOD I hope that’s true, because this is THE BEST PEPSI FLAVOR I’VE EVER HAD. No hyperbole! Do away with the crust and picture the spiced innards of an apple pie, and then apply that to soda. It’s freakin’ incredible, in everything from smell to taste.
Some have asked if it’s anything like the old Pepsi Holiday Spice. I mean, I guess a little, but this one is less about the bite and more about the appley sweetness. But much like Pepsi Holiday Spice, I imagine that it’d make a great mixer — a theory I intend to test literally ten seconds after I hit “publish” on this article.
GRADE: A+. I know some will ascribe my high praise to being on the take, but screw that. If I have a price, be assured that it’s a whole lot higher than a bottle of soda. This stuff is just GOOD. Read More…