Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula

Nabisco’s Suddenly S’mores, from 1990!

Let’s talk about Nabisco’s Suddenly S’mores. The magically microwaveable cookies arrived in 1989, but didn’t go national until 1990. That’s when I tried them. I was eleven years old, and junk food was the only thing that loved me back.

Suddenly S’mores arrived with fanfare. This was, after all, the first attempt in recorded history to market microwaveable s’mores. The news outlets ate it up, and so did we. Most snacks got the small print on our daily marquees, but Suddenly S’mores had BIG GIANT LETTERS.

When you watch the commercial above, do so with the knowledge that real kids reacted to Suddenly S’mores in exactly the same way. This wasn’t a case where we passively pigged out. No, we’d been personally selected by some troubled god of dark alchemy. Read More…

Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 15!

I’m not sure if there’s much point in writing about old Christmas commercials the day before Christmas Eve, when 95% of the people who’d be interested are too busy to look. Oh well. If you’re in the remaining 5%, this one’s for you!

A Christmas Story on WPIX! (1990)

Even before the 24-hour marathons, watching A Christmas Story was one of my major holiday traditions. As a kid, it was the only Christmas movie I had to see each year. I usually did that in our old living room, where the television was right next to the tree. Between Ralphie’s exploits and the glow of our mismatched light sets, those viewings were pure, concentrated Christmas.

This WPIX promo was for a 1990 broadcast. I was in the sixth grade by then, and surely opted to watch it in my bedroom instead. After all, in the tri-state area, WPIX was the official network of kids’ bedrooms, which usually lacked cable boxes.

The transition from elementary school into junior high was rough for me. You know those cautionary tales about not letting tamed animals into the wild, because they don’t know how to communicate with their own kind and will probably get eaten in a week? Starting junior high was my version. In the sixth grade, every day felt like war.

That year, I needed Christmas more than ever. I threw myself into the decorations, catalogs, movies and animated specials as much for the distraction as the attraction. To this day, I still look at the trivial joys of Christmastime as a failsafe to keep me from bottoming out. It probably started in 1990, when I watched Scut Farkus on WPIX and tried not to notice how similar he was to those ten assholes from school. Read More…

Purple Stuff Podcast: Christmas Songs, Part 5!

The Purple Stuff Podcast’s holiday tradition continues! (Hopefully just in time for us to accompany you on a weekend full of last-minute holiday errands!)

Get set for another batch of AWESOME CHRISTMAS TUNES. This is the fifth volume in the series, so now we’re really starting to dig deep. There aren’t too many traditional picks on this list, nor many that you’re likely to hear on the radio. (Though, for my money, we should be hearing the California Raisins’ Rudolph Rap on the radio. It’s a crime that we aren’t!)

Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are ready to add ten more songs to our ever-growing Purple Stuff holiday playlist. Check it out:

Click here to listen to this week’s show!

Sorry this one is so late, but hey, maybe you need a little Christmas now more than ever? As a reminder, the Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where we’ll be ending the month with an exclusive bonus show.

Below are spoiler images for our song picks — don’t look if you wanna go in clean! Read More…

Dino Drac’s December Funpack is here!

Dino Drac’s December Funpack is here, and it’s full of holiday cheer! (Sorry, I was definitely someone who wrote lame catalog descriptions in a past life.)


LIMITED SUPPLY! UNITED STATES ONLY!

Consider the December 2019 Funpack a gift to yourself. I assembled this one with Christmas morning in mind, so even if Santa completely disappoints you this year, I hope *I* won’t.

You know the deal by now! Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month, and that price includes shipping. For as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting boxes and old-and-new nonsense every single month. (And of course, you can cancel at any time!)

These are in short supply, so if you wanna jump to the bottom for ordering info, go right ahead! Otherwise, keep reading to learn about everything you’ll receive in this month’s box! Read More…