Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula

Purple Stuff Podcast: The Robot Show!

We’re putting the awful month of January to bed with a brand new episode of the Purple Stuff Podcast. If you’re a fan of things with red eyes and metal feet, this one’s for you:

This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit tackle EIGHT GREAT ROBOTS from all walks of pop culture. This episode has been on our to-do list for years, and we think we came up with a solid list of popular picks and deep cuts.

(Like, you may have expected us to gab about the evil robots from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, but you probably didn’t expect a conversation about The Great Heep — assuming you even know what that is!)

The new episode should be on your preferred podcast feed now, or you can just follow the link below:

Click here to listen to the new episode!

Later today, we’ll also be releasing this month’s exclusive bonus show on our Patreon page, where we’ll each name one more robot that almost made our lists for this episode. If you’re supporting the show on there, check it out later! (Or now, depending on when you read this.)

Below are some spoiler pics for this week’s show: Read More…

Conceptions of Obsessions. (Don’t worry, it’s about Ninja Turtles.)

I can’t recall how most of my obsessions started. “They just did,” I guess. I’d slowly latch onto things, and by the time passing interests became fixations, the beginnings were already foggy.

For a few of my obsessions, though, I remember the exact moments of birth. (“Conception” might be a better word, actually.) It’s usually when an obsession started off with some unlikely action — a “wrong turn” that ended up being oh so right.

Think about a movie that you’re completely gaga over, and now imagine that you only saw it because the theater was sold out of tickets for whatever you really wanted to see that day. That sort of thing.

I love it when that happens. It adds a sort of poetic air to my passions, even if they’re for dumb things like Krang or Pikachu. Below are stories about how two of my obsessions began.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

I got into the Ninja Turtles early enough, but I was far from the first kid in school to sing their praises. In fact, but for a slight twist of fate, I might’ve never hopped on the bandwagon at all.

At some point in the fourth grade — this would’ve been in ‘89, I think — I tagged along to the supermarket with my best friend, his older brother and their mother. Back then, the world really was boring enough for grocery stores to seem exciting. Besides, us kids were total addicts for a game we called “store tag.” It was like regular tag, but… you know… in a store.

After we finished chasing each other, I counted the loose change from my pocket. It was time to BUY SOMETHING. With limited funds, my options included a bag of chips, a couple of candy bars, Super Elastic Bubble Plastic, or a shiny new notebook. Read More…

Nabisco’s Suddenly S’mores, from 1990!

Let’s talk about Nabisco’s Suddenly S’mores. The magically microwaveable cookies arrived in 1989, but didn’t go national until 1990. That’s when I tried them. I was eleven years old, and junk food was the only thing that loved me back.

Suddenly S’mores arrived with fanfare. This was, after all, the first attempt in recorded history to market microwaveable s’mores. The news outlets ate it up, and so did we. Most snacks got the small print on our daily marquees, but Suddenly S’mores had BIG GIANT LETTERS.

When you watch the commercial above, do so with the knowledge that real kids reacted to Suddenly S’mores in exactly the same way. This wasn’t a case where we passively pigged out. No, we’d been personally selected by some troubled god of dark alchemy. Read More…

Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 15!

I’m not sure if there’s much point in writing about old Christmas commercials the day before Christmas Eve, when 95% of the people who’d be interested are too busy to look. Oh well. If you’re in the remaining 5%, this one’s for you!

A Christmas Story on WPIX! (1990)

Even before the 24-hour marathons, watching A Christmas Story was one of my major holiday traditions. As a kid, it was the only Christmas movie I had to see each year. I usually did that in our old living room, where the television was right next to the tree. Between Ralphie’s exploits and the glow of our mismatched light sets, those viewings were pure, concentrated Christmas.

This WPIX promo was for a 1990 broadcast. I was in the sixth grade by then, and surely opted to watch it in my bedroom instead. After all, in the tri-state area, WPIX was the official network of kids’ bedrooms, which usually lacked cable boxes.

The transition from elementary school into junior high was rough for me. You know those cautionary tales about not letting tamed animals into the wild, because they don’t know how to communicate with their own kind and will probably get eaten in a week? Starting junior high was my version. In the sixth grade, every day felt like war.

That year, I needed Christmas more than ever. I threw myself into the decorations, catalogs, movies and animated specials as much for the distraction as the attraction. To this day, I still look at the trivial joys of Christmastime as a failsafe to keep me from bottoming out. It probably started in 1990, when I watched Scut Farkus on WPIX and tried not to notice how similar he was to those ten assholes from school. Read More…