Dinosaur Dracula!

Godzilla Burgers at Johnny Rockets!

I’m leaving to catch Godzilla: King of the Monsters in about, oh, two hours. I have no idea if I can finish this review before showtime, but I’m gonna try, because these half-baked paragraphs about weird cheeseburgers are surprisingly time-sensitive.


Yes, Godzilla has invaded Johnny Rockets restaurants with a variety of avocado-enhanced menu items. (I guess avocado got the nod because it’s green and so is Godzilla? I should note that avocados are also referred to as alligator pears, which is what Godzilla’s sweethearts call him in Valentine’s Day cards.)

Looks like Johnny Rockets has the exclusive rights to make MonsterVerse food, as this was the same place I found those screwball Kong milkshakes more than two years ago. I love the idea that King Kong milkshakes were SO successful that Johnny Rocket himself demanded another partnership the second he saw Millie Bobby Brown screaming in that trailer.

I dined with Jay, who as a matter of a full disclosure was the one who first noticed this promo. He got Godzilla’s Avocado Chicken Salad, which at Johnny Rockets is like eating carrot sticks. I got everything else: Read More…

The Purple Stuff Podcast discovers NEW COKE!

If you didn’t hear the big news, Coca-Cola is dusting off NEW COKE as part of a special partnership with Stranger Things. (The show’s third season is set in 1985, smack in the middle of New Coke’s shaky debut.)

This past Thursday, thousands of us struggled to place orders on New Coke’s retro-themed website. It turns out that Coke wasn’t totally prepared to have tens of thousands of people hammering its servers at the same time.

Right around the point of peak frustration, I heard an interesting tidbit. Instead of waiting for that godforsaken site to load, I could drive into Manhattan and swipe cans of *free* New Coke from a special event at a downtown bar. WHAT?!

Jay from The Sexy Armpit was game to join in, and this is our story. The story of two schmoes who were obsessed enough with new/old soda to zip into the Manhattan in the middle of rush hour.

Staged from Barcade (a bar/arcade, duh), Coke had recreated THE UPSIDE DOWN and challenged brave souls to walk beyond the moss and strobe lights. There they’d find a special New Coke vending machine, and maybe some other surprises.

I’d say more, but we recorded a whole Purple Stuff minisode about the experience. Listen to it below!

Click here to listen!

It turned out to be a great night. Getting to *literally* walk into the Upside Down to fetch icy cans of New Coke? C’mon, you know I live for shit like that.

Below are assorted and mostly blurry photos from the event. I also posted a video on Instagram, where you may also find pictures of the books I’ve been reading and the lunches I’ve been eating. Read More…

Purple Stuff Podcast: 10 Wonderful Witches!

Make some tea, hit the lights and pray for a thunderstorm, because the latest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is gonna put you in a Halloween mood.

This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit pay tribute to ten of our favorite pop culture WITCHES. We’re tackling movies like The Craft, weirdos like Helena Markos, and maybe even some rando from an old anti-itch cream commercial.

It’s our huge tribute to eerie enchantresses, and we’re so happy to publish this right at the halfway-to-Halloween mark!

Click here to listen to this week’s show!

As a reminder, the Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can access our monthly bonus shows for the price of… I dunno, a McD’s Extra Value Meal or whatever. (May’s bonus show is coming soon!)

Hope you enjoy our banter, and feel free to name some of your favorite witches in the comments!

Here are some spoiler images for this week’s episode:




Have a weird weekend, and thanks for letting us be a part of it!

Dino Drac’s May Funpack has arrived!

Whew! I don’t like to peel the curtain back with these Funpacks, but suffice it so say, some come together easier than others. This month’s had plenty of last minute tricks in store for me, leading to scrambles and hair-pullings and, what’s that word, agita? I like that word.

But all’s well that ends well, and I’m really happy with where we’ve landed:


THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY!

Dino Drac’s May 2019 Funpack is here, and it’s loaded with more than a dozen old-and-new items that are guaranteed to make you happy. (Well, I’m not actually going to guarantee that, but I think they will. It’s a mix of toys and cards and crazy delicious bubble gum, and if it takes more than that to make you happy, you better check yourself.)

Y’all know how it works by now. Subscriptions are $25 a month, and that price includes shipping. For as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting Funpacks each and every month. Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything you’ll receive in this month’s box! Read More…

5 Old Soda Cans, Explored.

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a collector of old soda cans, even though I’ve accumulated over a hundred of them. I prefer to think of myself as an extreme dabbler. That sounds like something a guy who badly cuts his own hair would be, at least.

Below: Five of my favorite soda cans, pulled from the groaning shelves in what I call an office but is really a subconscious recreation of my childhood bedroom.

Strawberry Burst Pepsi! (1991)

In 1991, Pepsi introduced the Wild Bunch, a trio of funky flavors including Raging Razzberry, Tropical Chill and — most strikingly — Strawberry Burst. While such flavors wouldn’t inspire mass faintings in 2019, they were downright provocative by early ‘90s standards.

Though the Wild Bunch did score a high-budget TV commercial, the flavors weren’t available everywhere, and were only around for a short time. Assuming Pepsi viewed the endeavor as a form of test marketing, it doesn’t look like the Wild Bunch inspired enough interest to warrant a full-scale rollout.

It’s a shame, too. Strawberry Burst had one of my all-time favorite can designs, and if we’re strictly talking about Pepsi, it’s easily in my Top 3. I love how the supposed strawberries look like Hostess cupcakes.

Besides that, doesn’t strawberry Pepsi just sound delicious? My heart will forever belong to cherry cola, but strawberry cola is right up there. It’s the timesaving version of drinking soda while eating fruit snacks. Read More…