Dinosaur Dracula!

Montgomery Ward 1985 Christmas Toy Catalog!

It’s that time of year again, when I spend a fortune on old toy catalogs just to tear out the pages, all for your benefit. Let’s look at some of the highlights from Montgomery Ward’s 1985 Christmas catalog!

I didn’t grow up near any Montgomery Ward stores, but their catalogs were basically the same as what Sears and JCPenney published. (So much so, in fact, that I had to be careful not to pick the same toys I covered when reviewing JCPenney’s 1985 catalog.)

I was six years old when this book hit mailboxes, so the toys in these pages were absolutely my shit. Several were things I myself received for Christmas that year, or at least during a surrounding year. I could write about the stuff in this one catalog forever, but I know you have your limits. Let’s settle on 1800 words:

Sectaurs Power Cycle!

Wait, what? There was a SECTAURS POWER CYCLE?! How is it possible that I’d never heard of this, even during my internet years?

For you youngins, Sectaurs was a line of large insectoid action figures that rode even larger battery-operated bugs. I adored those toys. They were the perfect mix of “elegant” and “disturbing.”

Though Sectaurs had all of the accompaniments that ‘80s toy lines needed to survive — a cartoon, a comic book, a giant ass playset — it hardly set the world on fire. Usually, brands didn’t get the “tricycle treatment” until they’d achieved a certain status. Someone made a biiiig bet on Sectaurs, here.

Even more incredible is that this was at least as good as any other Power Cycle, and possibly even cooler. The idea, I guess, was that you were supposed to ignore the wheels and just pretend you were riding a bug. The cycle even had giant, flapping wings! That look of euphoria on the kid’s face? He wasn’t acting. Read More…

Purple Stuff: 10 Awesome Xmas Commercials!

We’re kicking off the Purple Stuff Podcast’s 2019 holiday season with one of our most-requested episodes: CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS.

It’s one of my favorite subjects! This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit celebrate 10 of our favorite Christmassy TV ads, covering everything from the time Scrooge gave out Chicken McNuggets to the time a different Scrooge ate Honey Nut Cheerios.

We’re featuring ads you’ll definitely remember and ads you definitely won’t, so whether you’re in the mood to learn something new or just get hit in the face with a nostalgia hammer, this is the ep for you:

Click here to listen to this week’s show!

If you wanna support the podcast, we’re also on Patreon, where you can get access to exclusive bonus shows, every month.

If you’d like to watch all of the commercials we’re tackling in the new episode, I put together a little YouTube playlist:

Enjoy the show — hopefully under the warmth of a red throw blanket with a cup of cocoa in your free hand. I’m lame, I know.

McDonald’s 40th Anniversary Happy Meal!

Y’all know the scoop by now. To celebrate the Happy Meal’s 40th anniversary, McDonald’s just released A TON of old school Happy Meal toys. I mean a legit ton. Check out their promo vid:

People like me had been on McDonald’s case for years, wondering why they weren’t tapping into our nostalgia for vintage Happy Meal junk. Well, we can all shut up now. This especially short promotion features everything from McNugget Buddies to Beanie Babies, so if you grew up on a steady diet of McDonald’s cheeseburgers, there’s gotta be something in this set that stabs your heart. Read More…

Grandma Arbuckle’s Sweet Potatoes!

In Garfield’s Thanksgiving, Grandma saves Jon’s disastrous date with Liz by covertly preparing Thanksgiving dinner. It’s the best part of the TV special, which should go without saying since Grandma Arbuckle is the best part of anything in which she participates.

While Jon entertains Liz in the living room, Grandma whips up everything from turkey croquettes to “split second” cranberry sauce. My favorite dish, though, had to be her sweet potatoes — made with a cup of butter, a cup of brown sugar and enough marshmallows to play checkers with.

I’ve spent thirty years dreaming about Grandma’s sweet potatoes, which is impressive considering that I’m not a sweet potato guy by any stretch. It’s just the power of Grandma Arbuckle, y’know? Total influencer!

Cutting to the chase, this weekend I decided to recreate Grandma’s sweet potatoes, even if it’s more of a sweet potato casserole. If you’d like to do the same, follow these instructions:

You will need:

– 6-8 large sweet potatoes
– Butter
– Brown sugar (dark, I guess)
– Jumbo marshmallows

Before we begin, I gotta state for the record that I was striving for Grandma Accuracy, here. Which meant that I wouldn’t adjust her given quantities, nor would I add any of the spices typical for this dish. While the final results were indeed delicious, I can’t claim that there isn’t room to “edit” if you’re more about balanced flavors and less about deifying Grandma Arbuckle. Read More…