During last year’s Countdown, I tossed up a ditty about RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks – the “naked” vinyl figures that come with really inky markers to help you to bring them to life.
I didn’t expect to be writing about them again, but the upgrade for 2013 is too major to skip. Not only is this year’s figure double the typical size, but there’s a GREEN LIGHT hiding in its chest. No matter how bad you are at drawing facial features on awkwardly shaped action figures, it’s still going to be okay in the end. This thing LIGHTS UP.
Whenever I open a Color Blank, I’m tempted to leave it in its natural state. The public-consumption reason would be some bullshit about celebrating minimalism, but the truth is, these things are a huge pain in the ass to color.
I’m not sure if there are other styles besides Frankenstein, but he’ll work just fine.
RoseArt provides a sticker sheet. Learning from past experiences, I started the process with those. Usually, I go through way too much trouble coloring eyes and mouths, only to look down at a sticker sheet containing several of them. Well, NOT THIS YEAR.
I feel like Algernon.
My second suggestion? Wash your hands before attempting any of this. Obviously, a sheet-white figure is easily stained, but even the stickers have translucent edges that mask no grime. I made the mistake of eating frozen berries just before working on this, and it took the audition of several thousand camera angles to successfully hide my crime.
The neat thing about this Color Blank is how it lets you cheat. Since Frank is supposed to light up, I don’t need to color every inch of his body. In fact, less is more. Dark marker ink would only dim the light, and if you’re gonna pay ten bucks for something that would be worth five if not for its promises of illumination, you want that shit MAXIMIZED.
Whatever I’ve created here… isn’t exactly Frankenstein. The bolts are the only Frank-like things in play, but I can’t take credit for those.
I don’t know how to be succinct about him, so get ready for lots and lots of commas. He’s a monster, with three eyes, and multicolored body-wide acne, and purple hair, and a Dino Drac t-shirt, and bicycle shorts. For simplicity’s sake, we’ll call him Jim.
Since the sun was threatening its daily retreat, I only had a few minutes to get Jim colored and photographed. Course, I wanted the sun to go away, since a Color Blank with a light in its chest is really a dish best served at dusk.
I love it. The photo doesn’t do it justice. Jim’s inner light causes his head and torso to look radioactive, and the thing is honestly bright enough to use as a nightlight. (Between Jim and Manny the Mummy, my bedroom is starting to look like Hell’s version of Mardi Gras.)
The three batteries required for this magic live in Jim’s feet, and yes, they are included. Of course, since they’re AG13 batteries, your Color Blank is on borrowed time. Nobody in recorded history has replaced an AG13 battery. If someone ever tells you otherwise, then I guess you’ll have a big stupid liar to yank out of your Rolodex.
One of the least-mentioned but still-awesome things about Halloween is its abundance of eerie electronic lights. They come in many shades and they’re always attached to ridiculous things, but there’s just something so relaxing about them. Eerie electronic lights make the world seem slower and easier, and they make me wish the mushrooms in my fridge weren’t portobellos.
Jim, the monster with three eyes, multicolored body-wide acne, purple hair, a Dino Drac t-shirt and bicycle shorts, makes my world just a little bit brighter. Figuratively and literally.