Watermelon Oreo Cookies!

I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true.

Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfect for summer. I’ve become so desensitized to Oreo upgrades that nothing surprises me anymore, but for those who haven’t closely studied Nabisco’s obsession with freaky Oreo flavors over these past many years, I concede that this may be big news. If you’re wondering why I’m writing like this, I finished reading A Game of Thrones literally fifteen minutes ago.

(Biggest differences between that and the TV show? I guess I can’t mention them here without being spoileriffic. I will say that the Eyrie sounded a hell of a lot more impressive in the book than it looked on television. I was especially fond of the mules!)

I normally only enjoy the crazier Oreo flavors for their novelty value. The flavor rarely appeals to me. This is best exemplified by an experience I had some weeks ago, when I found Oreos with a “rainbow sherbet” filling. I’d planned to review them, and even took all of the photos.

Then I tasted one.

I hated sherbet Oreos so much that I refused to stain my site with them. A negative review would not do. Only no review would do. The takeaway, I guess, is that if anyone should ever need hi-res photos of sherbet Oreos bathing in sunlight, I’m your fucking man.

But these new ones are actually good. Though you could accurately describe the flavor as “watermelonny,” the vibe I got was pure Bubblicious. The cream filling, resplendent in its shocking hues, tastes exactly like Bubblicious gum.

For as strange as that seems, it works. The problem with so many of these wild Oreo flavors is that they’re sickly sweet, to the point where the cream tastes like honey. Not regular honey, mind you. Not like, Stop & Shop honey hiding in a plastic bear. I’m talking about the honey you’d find at a maw-and-paw general store in the middle of nowhere. I’d imagine it to be called something like, “Joe’s Locust Wicker Hive Honey.” And the label, if there was one, would be handwritten. That’s what Nabisco has been doing to too many Oreos.

Not these, though. These have a bite, but it’s much more subtle. If I can call 75 calories’ worth of pure fat “light,” each of these cookies is light.

You take my photos for granted, but you shouldn’t. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I dislike watermelon. The actual fruit, I mean. In Jolly Rancher form, watermelon’s a blast, but I haven’t been able to eat the real thing since I was eight-years-old. I simply lost my taste for it.

So you see, I bought a whole watermelon just to achieve that one picture. One Kodak moment, and now the rest of the watermelon will rot in my fridge until it’s too gooey to lift, and rest assured, only then will I try to.

Stupid thing cost me four bucks.

You think it’s so easy, vomiting up these item descriptions and calling it art. I say, find me the man who could hear a tale of watermelon buying, and cutting, and aligning cookies on top of watermelon slices, outside, in the sweltering heat – find me the man who could hear of this and call it anything less than a process. I do nothing important, but you’d never know that from watching me.

Then, even after I’d finished the photos and packed up, I remembered that my Oreo reviews always come with some attempt to mold the cream into a monster. It’s all for you, Damien:

I rushed through it this time, because damn, I was so tired of taking pictures of outdoor Oreos. I created a mutant bee, but you might need to tax your brain to make out its shape.

Course, now that I look at it again, I’m seeing entirely different things. Chiefly, a four-legged female who is positively shocked about something in the sky. Or maybe she’s a seer who read my words before I wrote them. I completely understand her reaction.


69 Responses to Watermelon Oreo Cookies!

  1. Like the “candy corn Oreo’s”, I always seem to miss a lot of these limited edition Oreo’s. Maybe I need to check at Wal-Mart, they seem to be the only store around here who gets anything like that.

  2. Good for the season – but I don’t think I could stomach them.

    Also, I had no idea it was called “ice-cream”, is that official?

  3. Wait, red…and GREEN? Why is half of it rind-flavored?!

  4. It’s truly as if Nabisco is daring us to call them on these things. I’m seeing this on a monitor and I’ve cleared a path to the bathroom, just in case. Every new idea a bunch of guys in suits around a big oak table stare in disbelief at the numbers. People are buying that?

  5. These look gross. I have a 12 pack of children’s yogurt smoothies in the fridge right now and half of them are watermelon. They tried really hard to make it taste like watermelon. It tastes weird. I think it should of been a combo. Cherry and Watermelon or something like that. I will drink them, but they are not something I will get again.

  6. Oreo is just getting weirder and weirder. I saw the sherbet ones at the grocery store where I work. Good thing I generally try to stay away from most packaged cookies. This just doesn’t look right. I can deal with Candy Corn and Gingerbread Oreos. I draw the line at Watermelon.

  7. Am I the only one who hates the lift here packaging? I never seem to figure it out and the cookies seem to harden overnight

  8. Only original Oreos will do for this chick! (Okay, if original is not available I will accept some of the more dessert-spirited alternatives like DoubleStuf, chocolate stuffing, or peanut butter…but NO watermelon! And nothing with these “blond” cookies.)

    I like that the “lift here” package reseals itself, but it doesn’t interact well with the tray inside. All the Oreos except the ones in the center of the package have to be finagled out and that increases the chances of breaking them.

  9. The food scientists at Oreo have gone too far. They are tampering with things best left alone and this can only result in some kind of mutated monster running amok smashing buildings to rubble and kidnapping nubile females that they are not sure what to do with but find strangely attractive.
    At least I hope that’s how it ends.

  10. Okay, I have to find and consume these.

    For those wondering who Nabisco makes these wacky Oreos for, it’s me. Why? Because I won’t eat chocolate ones. I am obligated to buy every single non-chocolate Oreo variety I see and eat an entire package of them, whether or not I actually like the taste of them.

    But here’s the thing: I will swear up and down that I genuinely enjoy every single Golden Oreo flavor I eat, and you’ll never know if I’m lying. For example? Ate half a package of Sherbet Oreos in one sitting. The verdict? I should have eaten them all. In fact, I’m eating a “Lemon Twist” Oreo as I’m typing this sentence. What does it taste like? Happiness.

    A man who doesn’t eat chocolate clings to whatever alternative confections and baked goods he can find. I hope Nabisco keeps churning out mutant Golden Oreo strains. Why haven’t they made Golden Peanut Butter Oreos yet? Too normal? Hell, I’d eat Golden Licorice Oreos, and I hate licorice.

  11. I spent weeks fruitlessly searching for those candy corn Oreos. It seems even less likely I’d be able to find watermelon, but they look so crazy that I’m seriously considering a two-mile walk to the grocery store right now for the chance.

  12. I’ve never been a fan of “lift here” packaging. Aesthetically, it sucks. Plus, you can only take out like 1/4th of the contents without struggling and looking dopey.

  13. thanks for the heads up Matt ! I hate to waste money on food that I would just throw out…ugh..did that with pumpkin spice salt water taffy(the people that make it are the one’s at the Wild wood boardwalk, they have a store at Caesar’s Pier Mall in AC)

  14. The only limited edition Oreos that I can remember eating were those Candy Corn ones. They didn’t really taste like Candy Corn to me. More like Wilton cake decorating frosting. And that’s fine with me. I like watermelon okay, but I don’t really go for a lot of watermelon flavored foods.

  15. Follow-up to my earlier comment:
    No Watermelon Oreo Brand Snack Sandwich Cookies, but I was sick of a life without dumb, freaky-weird goo smashed between cookies, so I grabbed the store’s last box of Neapolitan. I don’t like the idea of non-chocolate cookie parts, and I’m entirely averse to mixing fruit and chocolate, but all things considered, they’re pretty decent. I wouldn’t buy them again, but I was seeking novelty. These delivered, and I’m going to be able to finish the box without straining myself too much.

  16. BIRTHDAY CAKE OREOS FTW

  17. I’m not a fan of watermelon, not even the fake kind so this will be something I’m going to skip. I tired the berry flavour that Oreo brought out last year and it was pretty nasty. I like my Oreos in normal form.

    When I first saw the monster I thought it looked like a fish. Now I’m seeing the bee, but I think he’s kinda cute!

  18. oh man, STOP. I’m heading back to the states in a couple of days and i’ve already told mom enough snacks to buy because of your reviews. i’ve always loved those lemony light-colored sandwich cookies, and i’ve always loved watermelon. i guess i have to add these to 4th of July poptarts, mixed up cheetos and find the one Red Robin in georgia for Wolverine burgers when i get home.

    (but seriously don’t stop)

  19. BIRTHDAY CAKE OREOS! hoo-ray!

    also, i dig the lift here packaging. i always struggled with the sliding of plastic in and out of the package wrapper thing. bbbbut i guess one man’s treasure is another man’s total garbage

  20. I went my entire life with no interest or taste for Oreo cookies until I tried to mint ones about a year ago — so good! I did get some sort of weird raspberry ice cream ones (maybe they were sherbet?) that were absolutely gross and inedible (to my tastes).

  21. fyi… target is the only authorized store for watermelon oreos. I can’t remember the breakdown, but each big box store has different flavor (lemon, sherbert, watermelon).

  22. I’m not sure how I feel about this flavor. On the one hand, I like watermelon bubble gum, but I really don’t think I’d like it in between two sandwich cookies. In fact, it looks like someone smashed a piece of Bubblicious between two cookies and called it a day.

    It reminds me of green ketchup (catsup?). I couldn’t eat that stuff either, just because of the color.

  23. Crap, that should have been “couldn’t”.

    Hey, what happened to Disqus?

  24. Off the topic of cookies, but I just started reading Game of Thrones last week. GRRM will be finished writing the rest of the books before I finish reading this – my only time for recreational reading is when I’m commuting, and this is not the kind of book you rush through. I am reading it on a kindle because it would be too heavy to haul this thing around.

    It’s beautifully written, but the only problem I have with it so far is that, with a lore this dense and detailed, the storytelling requires that he just start talking about certain things without too much backstory. The reader has to trust that it will make sense later. I decided to put my faith in the narrative and dive in.

    And that is how, when I accidentally touched something on my kindle, I ended up somewhere in the middle of the third book, and happily kept on reading with only mild confusion about why the plot just went crazy. It took me half a chapter to discover my error.

    D’oh.

  25. @Stunt Zombie: Fixed that for you. For details on the switch back from Disqus, check the last thread, but the short of it is, it was causing some problems that couldn’t be ignored because there’s currently no way to fix them. :) On deck in a move to tweak the locally stored comments (these) with some additional features.

    @Rev: There were a few times where, I admit, I could see that being an issue. It’s harder for me to judge, since I knew everyone from the series. Which is partly why I’d risk scorn by telling people to watch the series before reading the book. At least, Season 1 and the first book.

  26. Ha. The only reason I was even able to figure it out was because I have seen the entire series, and so it didn’t make sense that ***** was suddenly a prisoner, on a boat, under the protection of *******.

    If I hadn’t seen the show I’d probably be wrapping up the last book by now, wondering why the stupid author left out so much stuff. I am brilliant.

  27. I feel like I need to crack and start watching Game of Thrones. I know absolutely nothing about the show and if someone was to ask me a month ago what I thought Game of Thrones is about I would have said medieval musical chairs.
    This is how I became a Soprano fan almost three seasons after it began.

    Oreos. What are they going to do next? Bubblegum filling?

    I really appreciate the backdrop photos.

  28. I hate real watermelon, but I may have to try these purely because I missed out on the candy corn oreos.

  29. Looks more like some kind of mutant fly to me.

  30. I’m just guessing by the fact you placed the cookies on the ground that you won’t be eating them.

  31. Thank you for testing these and confirming that they are Watermelon Flavor-flavored. I dread the day they start making stuff that is actual watermelon flavored.

  32. I don’t really like real watermelon or anything watermelon flavored so these are a pass for me. So far the only limited Oreos I’ve had were the peppermint ones but can only eat a few at a time. I think Nabisco keeps putting out these limited flavor Oreos so people will write about them on their websites and get others to buy them based on the curiousity factor. :)

  33. @Matt,

    Thanks for correcting that for me. It really started bugging me once I saw what I typed. As far as Disqus, I had just about posted the second comment before I realized the comments were the older style. I’ve never really cared much about commenting systems, just the ability to comment.

    I’m still stuck on the first book of Game of Thrones. I started it, then watched the first season, and lost all motivation to complete the book. Now it’s sort of fallen to the bottom of the queue.

  34. This makes me angry. I want to punch Watermelon Oreos.

    Oh, and what happened to Disqus?

  35. Sorry to go off topic Matt, but I”m going to respond to your mummy shark post about GoT on here.

    Season 2 changes a bit more from A clash of Kings than season 1 did with GoT. The biggest change is the battle of blackwater bay. It is a lot bigger and plays out a little differently. The producers wanted to do it like it was in the book but didn’t have the budget for it.

  36. I dread the day they start making stuff that is actual watermelon flavored.BumblebeeZ3

    You mean sugar water flavored?

    At least, that’s what watermelon tastes like to me. Blech.

  37. Long time reader of X-E, though I’ve probably only commented a handful of times ever. I wanted to say that I love this line:

    “I do nothing important, but you’d never know that from watching me.”

    Please continue your sound and fury with its signifying of nothing. It brings me much joy.

  38. I must try these. I think I’d prefer them if they used the chocolate cookies instead of the “golden” cookies, but I still want to try them. I’m still bitter I never got to try the gingerbread Oreos…I hope they make those again this year.

    You do nothing important? For God’s sake, Matt, don’t you know you’re responsible for 15% of all the gimmicky junk food sold in this country? You write about it and so many of us are just compelled to buy it. Not to mention that you’re responsible for a good 1% of all sales of old toys on eBay! You help make the wheels of capitalism move, sir!

  39. @Matt: “You know nothing Jon Snow.”

    Keep reading the books. They get better and better. The third one is my favorite so far which is what the last season was based on. But oh, so much more happens. So much. They couldn’t squeeze it all into 10 episodes and I’m glad they didn’t try. The show is incredible though. Everyone should watch it.

    P.S. I’m glad the comments are back to normal. I couldn’t stomach that other system. Total clusterfuck.

  40. I think my favorite watermelon was the one that was included with Green Ghost (Slimer).

  41. Ah Matt, what would I do without this site?

    (Go crazy, probably. Definitely have much less fun in life.)

  42. Thank you Sabi and Molly!

    @Kobes: Oh yeah, I definitely will. The first one came with a teaser chapter for the next one, about Theon. And holy shit it’s five times dirtier than anything in the first book. To the point where I was taken aback.

    @DerDavenWarrior: I had that impression based on the GoT wikis I’d read. Can’t wait to read it! (Stannis was a major reason why I wanted to read the books to begin with, so I kinda have to continue — there’s no actual Stannis in the first book!)

  43. I read the first couple Song of Ice and Fire books and they were good but I couldn’t take all the bad things happening to good people and people dying all the time. There’s nothing wrong with a little tragedy now and then but gotdamn.

  44. I love Watermelon myself. These cookies look pretty tasty too. As for the sherbert oreos, it sounds like I would like them too. I love weird flavors.

  45. Ugh. Just thinking about those make me want to wretch. I am the complete opposite, for I LOVE the real fruit of watermelon, but pretty much cannot stand anything artificially made to be the same flavor. The thought of putting that disgusting cream between two perfectly nice vanilla wafer cookies makes me weep for them. They’ve been tainted by that nasty flavor, never to be able to shake it. *sigh* I am sad for those wafers.

  46. Artificial watermelon flavor makes me wretch so I can imagine that Oreo’s latest venture would not get a pass. Matt thanks for bringing these crazy ass Nabisco creations to our attention!

  47. I don’t think that your writing receives frequent enough praise. You do have a brilliantly pithy turn of phrase.
    ‘Find me the man who could hear of this and call it anything less than a process. I do nothing important, but you’d never know that from watching me.’
    Raising biscuit reviews to linguistic art. Glory in ephemera. That’s your gift.
    “It’s all for you, Damien” is the proverbial fluorescent icing on the cake (Oreo).
    Don’t think it goes unappreciated.

  48. The thing that angers me the most about all these wacky flavors of Oreos is that they’ve legitimately found AMAZING flavors that they’ve tossed to the side for novelty shit like this.

    Last year’s Lemon Oreos were FUCKING AMAZING. They were the best lemon flavored cookies I’ve ever had. Everything was in the right proportions, the sweetness, the tang of the lemon, the creaminess of the cream, the vanilla cookie to cut through it all. Every time I go to the grocery store I look for these again and every time I see something like “Jazzberry Fuck Oreos” instead.

    It’s just frustrating. Oreo people, I would buy a bag of Lemon Oreos EVERY TIME I went to the grocery store if you brought them back. I will not waste my money on some other fucked up experimental flavor because best case scenario is I actually like it and then you just yank it the fuck away from me the second I’m into it.

    Plus, they are desperately running out of palatable flavors.

  49. How different is Game of Thrones the books from the HBO series? Is there a staggering amount of blood & nudity in them as there is on the show? (As it is, I only watch it because of the cute white-haired girl with the big…personality). I might have to start reading them if they’re that close.

  50. There’s a little more sex on the show than the books, but there’s still a good deal of it in the books.

  51. I almost can’t beleive it, after being so upset about not finding the Cany Corn oreo cookies and searching above and beyond what was nessary to come to the conclusion that no one up here likes to try anything new, I found them. I found the Watermelon Oreo Cookies. Needless to say, my face lit up like a christmas tree and I almost let out a scream and jumped up and down in the isle. I tried them and am willing to risk being shunned, but I like them. It’s like watermelon with extra sugar and crunchy.YUMMY.

  52. Watching Adam Carolla’s newest Video Podcast on youtube and spotted your image of the Watermelon Oreo’s on it!

    No human could convince me NOT to try them!

  53. @Annette: Yeah, they can be really dark and tragic at times and lots of bad things happen to good people but lots of bad things happen to bad people as well. Besides, it’s not nearly as tragic as Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion”. That stuff is absolutely heartbreaking.

  54. I just went to Target to buy some Watermelon Oreos and all they had was the Rainbow Sherbet Oreos so I bought those instead. Not bad I must say.

  55. @Kobes You read the Silmarillion…I thought I was the only one. You choulsd check out the Children of Hurin. It’s a novel length expanssion of Turin’s tale fromt he Silmarillion.

  56. Hey, Matt, thought of you this morning: they featured the Oreos as part of the business segment on Good Day NY on Fox 5 this morning…don’t have any desire to try them to be honest, then again, I’m not a huge Oreo fan to begin with (I know that’s probably very non-American, I’m a Chips Ahoy girl at heart).

  57. I heard about this on the news…my uncle seems to think this is a hoax. Yet, your article here definitely proves Watermelon Oreos are real. I’ll have to see if Walmart has them tomorrow. I want a pack!

  58. Congrats Matt you have officially made the big time..Your picture of Watermelon oreos is the Predominant picture of the cookie on the internet..Pic was recently featured on the Adam Carolla show (with guest host Stone Cold Steve Austin who said “it looks like one of santas eleves took a shit on the cookie and they topped it off)..congrats on the Big time buddy..No more Kool aid reviews for you

  59. Haha, the review did well, but it’s not like I get much traffic from those who take the images! :)

  60. will happily send you the link (Austin does some hilarious psa’s) and then your Picture is featured during the news segment with alllison..you have a certain talent for taking pictures of crappy novelty foods btw lol

  61. I’ve always found fruit-flavored candy a little off-putting, especially when the flavors are like strawberry or watermelon. It’s because there’s this little rational part of my brain that says “this doesn’t taste anything like the real thing – it tastes like the artificial flavor that people call tasting like the real thing.”

    Yes it is a drag being around me why do you ask

    GoT chat: I’ve read all the books, and I miss the big castles in the TV series. All of the ‘Named’ castles in Westeros are notable for being slightly fantastic – like the Eyrie being built on the sheer sides of a gigantic mountain – and Martin usually makes them into unique locations that are quite vivid. The one I miss the most from the TV series is Harrenhal, which is frequently a location visited. I bring it up around here because Harrenhal in the books is just this side of Bowser’s Castle in size and visual impact. All of those background in Mario levels over the years would make a good approximation to how Harrenhal comes across in the books – a vast stone citadel larger than life, and kinda nightmarish. In the tv show, Harrenhal is just some old castle ruin they found in Ireland.

  62. I saw the tail end of a segment about these Oreos on Channel 7′s First @ 4 last week, I didn’t see the beginning, but Lauren Glassberg and Lee Goldberg were eating the cookies outside (Lee does a lot of outside stuff on First @ 4), and then we went back into the studio, and the anchors, David Novarro and Liz Cho were eating them.

  63. Speaking of new products, I just picked up a box of Hershey’s Cookies and Cream cereal. Mmmm.

    I’ll have to check out these Oreos as well!

  64. You bastard! I couldn’t find these things to save my life. Clearly you are to blame!

    Nah but seriously, thanks for the review. All I can do is cross my fingers that they have them again next year!

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