The Christmas Fallout, 2014 Edition!

Happy 209th anniversary to the Treaty of Pressburg!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you had great Chinese food. Mine was the usual two-day marathon of TOO MUCH EVERYTHING. The holiday season was a little rough around the edges, but it ended strong with family and friends and triple-spiked eggnog and the Bumpus hounds.

This is the annual Christmas Fallout post, where we swap stories about our holiday celebrations. More accurately, it’s where we tackily compare our new loot!

Considering that I couldn’t have cared less about what I got from Santa, I made out like a bandit this year. The one benefit of having to give out so many presents is that I get almost as many. I’d also like to think that I’m fun to shop for, because there aren’t many thirty-somethings who get excited about Freddy Krueger candy holders and gaudy statues that seem to blend giraffes and zebras into whole new animals.

I’ve collected some of my favorite NEW THINGS down below. Feel free to talk about your NEW THINGS in the comments. After all, we get so few opportunities to act like classless children. Revel while you can!

Funko Pop Slimer Figure!

Perhaps the most creative Pop figure to date, Slimer is also one a very few that I had to have. (As awesome as that line is, it’s something I’ve chosen to admire from afar. This was an obvious exception, since no other Pop figure uses ghost slime as a stand-in for legs.)

Patron XO Cafe Incendio Tequila!

Oh, I’m excited about this. Patron Silver has become my go-to liquor, because I feel fancy when I’m drinking it and not like total shit when I’m done. I’d actually never heard of this “XO Cafe Incendio” stuff until receiving it for Christmas. Apparently, it blends Patron Silver with chili peppers and chocolate. JEEZ.

I’m saving it for a special occasion, like my birthday, or maybe to celebrate the conclusion of this blog post. By the time most of you read this, I’ll be breathing fire while spilling my guts about bullies from junior high.

Zoomer Dino!

It’s pretty much guaranteed that I’ll be writing about this guy again. I haven’t opened my Zoomer Dino just yet, but from what I can tell, it’s a robot dinosaur with wheels for feet, capable of imitating rational thought.

I can’t handle this. Now, no matter what I’m doing, it’s always tainted with the knowledge that I could be playing with a robot dinosaur instead. I’m gonna have to bust him out of the box soon. Hopefully it won’t signify the end of Dinosaur Dracula, and the start of a three year bender wherein I do nothing but eat, sleep and make “Boomer” roll in circles.

Freddy Krueger Candy Holder!

I love this, and I especially love that the relative who gave it to me was so sure that I’d love it. It’s Freddy Krueger holding a candy bowl. Of course I’d love it!

These figural candy holders are a big thing right now, and many other characters have gotten the same strange treatment. (In fact, I already have the Jason Voorhees and Yoda varieties. Those were also gifts. I guess thirty-six inch monster candy holders aren’t the kinds of things people buy for themselves.)

And yes, that’s Christmas Crunch in Freddy’s bowl. Forgive me. I won’t get to mention Christmas Crunch again for eleven whole months. 🙁

Sneakers!

I needed these badly. My previous pair was so utterly destroyed that it may have been more sanitary to just wander around barefoot.

The color scheme is great. These are the sneakers the aliens from V would’ve worn if they couldn’t find Doc Martens. I also like how they say “Wild Trail” on the tongues, because it somehow suggests that I’m a fit runner.

I’m mostly excited about the shoelaces. They look like grey-banded kingsnakes.

Amazon Gift Card!

More often than not, December 26th has been a very lazy day, spent on the couch under a pile of blankets and new books, with the remnants of breakfast, lunch and dinner slowly amassing on whatever table is within arm’s reach. It’s a sweet deal, and it’s going to be so much sweeter when I get to add “browse Amazon for free bullshit” to the pot.

I always feel dumb giving away gift cards rather than pure cash, but now I see the point. If I’d gotten cash, some small part of me would feel compelled to spend it responsibly. Well, not with this! I’m free to blow it on overpriced Marvel books and an assortment of gourmet jelly beans in iffy flavors. And that’s pretty damn Christmassy.

Hope y’all had a wonderful Christmas! Thank you tons for sticking with Dino Drac for these past four months of hot holiday action. The good news is that I’m not taking any powders this year. I’ll be back with our regularly scheduled content starting tomorrow. Or more likely the next day, because I have a couch and fiery tequila and a robot dinosaur to play with.

How was your Christmas? What did ya get? What did you do? Who did ya see? Talk about it in the comments!