Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 20!

    I’ve been digging through stacks of home-recorded VHS tapes, searching for more old TV commercials. It’s seriously one of my favorite things to do. I even wear a special outfit. Below: Another batch of retro TV commercials. This time, they’re all from the ‘90s, when grunge was big

  • Spooky Unsolved Mysteries Segments, Part III!

    At just around this time last year, the classic, Robert Stack-hosted episodes of Unsolved Mysteries began streaming on Amazon, Netflix and beyond. It was pretty much the best thing about 2017. …but if you stopped paying attention after the big launch, boy, you’ve missed a lot. Amaz

  • 11 Things I Loved About 2017.

    2017 was meme-level ridiculous, but I’d rather remember the good parts than the bad parts. Even if those good parts mostly involved sushi and Zima. Below are eleven things I loved about this year. I hope you can find at least as many things that you loved about it, too. Give it a sho

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon.

    I drew pictures representing five Christmas memories, and then wrote about them. I’m super good at never going viral. Just to get this out of the way: Yes I draw like I’m five and no it’s not for effect. Underneath the Christmas Tree! I used to love laying under the Christmas tree. I

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 11!

    I wanted to sneak one last edition of Classic Christmas Commercials onto Dino Drac before THE BIG DAY, which is now approaching so rapidly that it might actually be January by the time I finish this paragraph. Below: Five more Christmas commercials from 1987, featuring ALF, Garfield and S

  • Ancient Holiday Appetizers, Part 5!

    Well, it’s that time again. Time to make the weird old appetizers. I grew up surrounded by recipe books that were published many years before I was born. They fascinated me as a kid, and they still do now. Not every dish is appetizing, but there was such a colorfully crude artistry to it

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 10!

    A reader donated over seven hours’ worth of Christmas specials, all taped off television back in 1987… with every commercial left intact. Yes! (Thank you, Robin!) Everything in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials is from that tape, so imagine them breaking Rudolph and Frosty

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack!

    I want you to think of this month’s Funpack as “Christmas morning in a box.” From collectibles to candy to reading material to classic stocking stuffers, Dino Drac’s December Funpack is guaranteed (well, the fake sort of guarantee, anyway) to make your month merrier. (And also guar

  • 2017’s Best Holiday Junk Food, Part 1!

    Below: Five of this year’s hottest holiday junk foods, from punny M&M’s to THE BEST POSSIBLE SLURPEE. Nutmeg & Cinnamon Triscuit! I love Triscuits but I hate writing about them, because deep down I know that you shouldn’t pluralize them that way. If I want to refer to sev

  • Xmas Newspaper Ads from the ’80s and ’90s!

    Here’s a collection of ancient newspaper ads, all with a Christmas flavor. May they fill you with nostalgia and joy and maybe Swiss Miss. Candy Canes and Ninja Turtles! (1991) Family Dollar was hardly the first place gift-givers would’ve hit while hunting for TMNT figures, but even the

  • McDonald’s Holiday McNuggets from 1987!

    Y’all remember the time McDonald’s pitched Chicken McNuggets as actual literal Christmas presents, right? In 1987, McDonald’s unveiled Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which came in awesomely complicated packages that looked (and even opened like) gift boxes. It wasn’t McD’s only push

  • 12 More Songs For Your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas songs. Even the bad ones. They make me feel happy even when I’m not. They turn drives to department stores into scenes out of family movies. They make coffee taste better and $3 candles smell sweeter. Jay from The Sexy Armpit feels the same way, so we’re thrilled to de

  • Christmas at Dollar Tree.

    Today’s video covers my Christmas shopping spree at Dollar Tree: Dollar Tree’s assortment of Xmas decorations and novelties is… interesting. During Halloween, they can get away with anything, since spooky stuff only seems to improve with cheapness and cheese. Christmas junk, on the o

  • Pepsi Christmas Cola from Japan!

    It wouldn’t be the holiday season without piles of ridiculous junk food to obsess over: Take this, for example. PEPSI CHRISTMAS COLA. It’s pretty much a direct sequel to Pepsi Halloween Cola, right down to the sad fact that you’ll need to import it from Japan and spend way more on sh

  • How To Make Stuffed Mushrooms.

    Here’s my recipe for stuffed mushrooms, which has gotten a surprising number of requests. Like at least three. I make these for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, because my habits are my comforts and if you fuck with them you die. (And also because it’s one of the few dishes my fa

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 9!

    I’ve curated another batch of ancient Christmas commercials. Keep reading if you enjoy Chicken McNuggets, Chex Mix and copper top battery testers. Don’t if you don’t. McDonald’s: Scrooge’s Christmas! (1984) Ebenezer Scrooge is so giddy over Chicken McNuggets that he drops

  • 10 Awesome Things About Home Alone!

    It’s been a blink-and-you’ll miss-it holiday season so far. Thanksgiving is in less than a week and Christmas is barely more than a month away. I can’t stand it. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by those three month Halloween celebrations, because I feel like I don’t even have time to lis

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack!

    If you correlate the holiday season with frivolous spending, BOY do I have the thing for you. Get a load of Dino Drac’s November Funpack! (U.S. ONLY. AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME!) Vintage collectibles, fun toys and a whole Thanksgiving dinner, all in one box! If you don’t know the dea

  • The 1994 Toys “R” Us Big Toy Book!

    The arrival of a new holiday season means more ancient toy catalog reviews on Dino Drac. Yay! Shown above is the 1994 edition of Toys “R” Us’s Big Toy Book. By then, the Big Toy Book was far and away the most important holiday catalog out there, taking the top spot from the Sears Wis

  • Hostess Peppermint Twinkies: Video Review!

    I’ve been quietly surveying all of the new-for-2017 holiday junk foods, and man, there sure are a lot of them. Good ones, too! Even if you’re not into the red-and-green season, I hope you can at least appreciate the fun garbage you’re gonna get to eat. Take these monsters, for exampl