Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • More Weird ’80s and ’90s Candy.

    I’ve been doing some spring cleaning, so before I shuffle parts of my old candy collection onto shelves that are too annoying to reach twice, I thought I’d pay tribute to them here. Turning crud into content makes me feel less bad about buying twenty-year-old Spider-Man gumballs, after

  • Go get those Doritos Jacked 3D things.

    Doritos Jacked 3D Jalapeño Pepper Jack tortilla snacks isn’t something I want to type twice, but my God are they delicious. Some are heralding them as the return of 3D Doritos — that being the colloquial title of those airy Dorito “shells” that were all the rage over a de

  • Revenge of the Comic Book Ads!

    As mentioned in my previous post, I bought a pile of cheap comics books from the ‘80s and ‘90s specifically for the old advertisements, which never fail to remind me of a time when the stupidest stuff meant everything. So, pulled from the pages of otherwise unremarkable issues of Excal

  • Scenes from a Comic Book Show.

    Over the weekend, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit found ourselves in a church, or maybe an event center, or perhaps some kind of school. I’m not exactly sure, but some building in Clifton NJ had been commandeered for a comic book convention. A small comic book convention, I mean. This w

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 3!

    Continuing the series, here are yet another six snacks that I want back. You’ll notice in this edition that I’m really stretching the definition of “snack.” Please do not continue reading if you’re unable to accept two pound pitas and alcoholic beverages as “snacks.”  Giggle

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 2!

    I had so much fun writing Volume 1, I thought I’d dive right back in. Here are another six snacks that I want back, from chocolate-stuffed cookies to fries in juice boxes:  Cheetos Paws!  Chee-tos Paws (they didn’t drop the hyphen until later) was perhaps the snack of the early ‘

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 1!

    Tonight is the first chapter in what I guess we could call my personal pantheon of shitty food. From the ‘80s and ‘90s, here are six snacks I want back:  Pop Quiz Popcorn!  Made in 1992, Pop Qwiz was my jam. Believing that kids would love popcorn even more if it came in ridiculous co

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 15!

    I wouldn’t normally go back to the “Five Random Action Figures” well so soon, but I’m tired and I have a headache and my car is broken, and this is the only series I can handle when I’m completely oblivious to what I’m writing. My favorite blog about raising a chimp in a screen

  • Dino Drac’s March Funpacks on sale now!

    Dino Drac’s March 2015 Funpack has arrived, and this one is out of this world! It’s the Funpack from outer space, loaded with extraterrestrial awesomeness! As most of you know, these Funpack subscriptions have become the lifeblood of Dino Drac, so on top of getting boxes full of weird

  • The Restaurants of Roseanne!

    Roseanne is a strong contender for my favorite sitcom, and I still watch it religiously. Only with hindsight do I see how good the show was at capturing its time, not just through its characters and situations, but through its settings. Didn’t we all grow up in houses that looked at le

  • $10 at a dollar store can change everything.

    Let’s say you’re bored. Let’s say it’s the weekend. Let’s say there’s no one around and nothing to do. I’m here to help! My suggestion may sound a little flat at first, but it’s something I believe in, and something I’ve done myself. All you’ll need is $10 and access to

  • Ranking the Elm Street VHS Box Art!

    A long while back, I ranked all of the Friday the 13th films based strictly on the merits of their VHS boxes. It was only natural that I’d do the same for Freddy Krueger! That’s my weird goal for today, and it isn’t as pointless as it seems! As I’ve mentioned before, videocassett

  • Fast Food Kiddie Bags from the ’90s.

    Tonight’s article is about fast food kiddie bags from the 1990s, which is as close as I may ever come to literally writing about garbage. Really, focusing on the bags is just my way to highlight five memorable fast food promotions, starring everyone from Spider-Man to Amy Monkey. Mighty

  • Cereal shopping in 1986’s Manhunter.

    My friend Lauren told me to check out Manhunter, the 1986 thriller and first-ever film to feature the Hannibal Lecter character. (Okay, Lecktor, but it was the same guy.) Many critics didn’t go gaga over Manhunter back then, but I loved it for exactly the same reasons that they ha

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 14!

    I’ve been salivating over the many reveals from this year’s Toy Fair, which collectively guarantee that I’ll have five cents to my name by the end of 2015. To cool down, I thought I’d take a minute to appreciate what I already have… and stop worrying about how I’m going to

  • Pee-wee Herman’s Gremlins Collection.

    Back when Pee-wee was just starting to catch on, he was a frequent guest on Late Night with David Letterman, taking part in bizarre bits that only further cemented his rise to superstardom. Since my own obsession began with Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, I missed the earliest of those appeara

  • More Extremely Old Bubble Gum!

    I had so much fun showing you old bubble gum a few weeks ago, I thought I’d do it one more time. (A few weeks from today, I’ll say the same thing. And onward goes this thing of ours.) This time, I’m breaking out some of my heaviest hitters. If it could be argued that bubble

  • Dino Drac’s Crummy Motel!

    You are on your way to a wedding. Some distant cousin you haven’t seen in fifteen years. On the list of things you’d rather do, “drown” only narrowly outranks “get eaten by bears.” The reception is three states away. That would normally merit flying, but you’re not gonna blow

  • The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 1!

    Back in July, I asked everyone to send in photos of their weirdest coffee mugs for an upcoming Dino Drac feature. A whole lotta you did. In fact, I was so daunted by the number of submissions that I shelved the idea for months. During that time, I expertly handled any emailed inquires by p

  • Vintage Vending #22: Stretch Armstrong?!

    It’s been forever since the last edition of Vintage Vending, the series in which I blather on endlessly about old vending machine toys. If you’re newish to Dino Drac, you can read the past twenty-one entries over here! Today we’re focusing on “The Stretcher” set, made in 1995, an