Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Old Internet Junk!

    I first went online in 1995, back when you paid by the hour for an extremely slow connection. At the time, my concept of the internet only went as far as what America Online would show me. Actual websites existed, of course, but between the slow speed and my unfamiliarity, I mostly stuck

  • I’m best friends with Pee-wee Herman.

    As some of you know, I ordered WrestleMania last night. The PPV price was steep, but I just couldn’t let myself miss Undertaker vs. Punk. It was a good event overall, but the show definitely peaked with that match. I seized the opportunity to do some live tweeting, to the grand annoyance

  • You’re going to the movies!

    Tonight, you’re going to the movies! Whether you want to or not! As if by some unseen force, you are escorted to Dinosaur Dracula’s Superstar Theater. While waiting for your turn at the ticket counter, you realize that this is no ordinary theater. Mingling with your fellow humans are a

  • Comic Book Friday!

    Today mysteriously turned into Comic Book Friday! I was running an errand in an unusual area, and remembered that this unusual area was also home to my city’s longest operating comic book shop – a place that’s been around for at least twenty years. I decided to drop by. Maybe they

  • Real Ghostbusters Mini Shooter!

    As it relates to Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters toys, I was always much more into the monsters than the Ghostbusters themselves. Egon and friends were neat, but the ghosts were where the line shined brightest. They had no “template” mold or style, and each was vastly different from the l

  • Cheetos Mix-Ups!

    HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, bu

  • 1-900-909-CREEP.

    My friend Paul from the new and improved Wrestlecrap shot me a tip about this one. Thank you, Paul! You made my week. I’m not going to dig up the half-broken old article, but back in 2005, I wrote about my experiences with the Freddy Krueger hotline. It was just one of the many 900

  • Vlog: The Simpsons Easter Basket!

    Easter is tomorrow. May those who celebrate spend tonight dyeing eggs and fiddling with phony grass. I went to our city’s last remaining K-Mart yesterday. The place was a wreck. Looked like it hadn’t been remodeled since 1982. Still had an “Eatery” and everything. Smelled l

  • A Tribute to Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedias!

    If you’ve never heard of Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedia, you have my sincere pity. I loved these books as a child, and still do today. Not exaggerating at all: I still read these things constantly. Originally published in 1980, the fifteen book set covered many terrific things, from din

  • Freddy Krueger Popcorn Recipe!

    I just published an enormous feature, listing ten reasons for you to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Even though 90% of you have seen it a thousand times. Oh well. Maybe the feature will inspire you to make it a thousand and one? If it does, it’s important to do it

  • Star Wars Presto Magix, from 1983!

    It’s been ten years (literally) since my last tribute to Presto Magix, and I think we’re long overdue for Round 2. Presto Magix was a series of “transfer sets” based on our favorite toons and movies. Think “Colorforms,” but more permanent. They’ve been out of production for a

  • Song, Video, Plant, Candy, Book.

    Hello, and welcome to Saturday. It’s a lazy one for me. I want to bury myself under ten blankets and do absolutely nothing. Instead I will attempt to write about a song, a video, a plant, a candy and a book. It may prove to be my undoing. 🙂 The Dino Drac Song! My pal Brian

  • The Big League Chew Easter Egg!

    This isn’t something I’d normally do a standalone post about, but it just tickled me too much to cover in any other fashion. It’s an egg, see. An egg filled with Big League Chew. There are tons of similar Easter treats on sale, where oversized plastic eggs are filled with various can

  • Vintage Vending #10: Assorted Awesomeness.

    Vintage Vending continues! I’m calling today’s batch “Assorted Awesomeness,” but the prizes really aren’t so hot. Actually, I would’ve skipped this one entirely… if not for one totally killer prize hiding among the weaklings. Take a look, and see if you can guess which it is.

  • Mad Mascots Vlog: Mr. Lymon!

    The Mad Mascots series continues, with THIS THING: I call him Mr. Lymon. He’s really old. Based on the phony fruit that gives Sprite its taste, Mr. Lymon makes everything right with the world. Unlike some of those other mascots who merely dance around product logos and call it a night, M

  • The Wilton Megasaurus Disaster.

    It sounded so easy, but nothing ever is. I’d been waiting for the right moment to make use of this, and last night seemed like it. Released in 1999, it’s Wilton’s “MEGASAURUS” cake pan! I was drawn to it for obvious reasons, but that won’t keep me from naming them anyway. One,

  • 1980s Soda Gum!

    I’d been staring at a blank Word document for more than fifteen minutes, too crippled with anxiety to begin this review. The annoying thing was my inability to pinpoint the reason for this anxiety. My deadlines were met, my bills are all paid, and I’m not on fire. Then it hit me. About

  • Sparkling Star Shape Colgate Junior!

    After bringing up Aquafresh in the recent Happy Thoughts post, at least one commenter waxed nostalgic about Colgate’s ancient star-shaped toothpaste. That’s all the excuse I needed to write this tribute, because sisters and brothers, not only do I remember Colgate’s star-shaped tooth

  • Sprinkled Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    Let me get something off my chest. I loved Chips Ahoy cookies as a kid. So much, in fact, that I invented a new way to eat them. I’d chew one cookie into a disgusting paste, and then spread that paste over a fresh one. The result was a Chips Ahoy cookie topped with some

    Lava Planet Predator Action Figure.

    Today: A giant killer Jolly Rancher. Released in 1994, it’s Lava Planet Predator, part of Kenner’s sprawling line of Predator, Aliens and Aliens Vs. Predator toys. My interest in these characters hadn’t fully bloomed by mid ‘90s, but now that I’ve put in the research, wow, this