The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! Every day through Halloween, check back for another vintage creepy collectible – everything from deep cut toys to ancient store displays to at least one totally insane costume. Probably ten cereal boxes, too.
I won’t be plugging this on social media much, so you’ll have to remember to visit on your own. Maybe stick an orange Post-It on the fridge. (Yes, it must be orange.)
PS, if you missed last year’s Mausoleum of Madness, it’s over here.
#59: WIlton Party Pan! (1981)
I’m determined to bake this cake before Halloween. I probably won’t succeed, but it’s my happy thought.
I have immense nostalgia for these old Wilton cake pans, not so much for any vast hands-on experience, but because I grew up seeing them in my mother’s magazines.
She kept all of those – issues of Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping and the like – in a fat stack in one of our kitchen cabinets. I was weirdly obsessed with them, and Wilton was a frequent advertiser. Hell, they released quite a few magazines on their own, too!
Good news for interested parties: These vintage pans are generally dirt cheap. If you want them with the original paper inserts, you’ll pay a little more, but if you can live without those, people can barely give the things away.
This jack-o-lantern is one of the many Halloween-themed pans Wilton released in the ‘80s, which ran the gamut from flying witches to haunted houses. So long as you avoid the pans that’ve rusted to shit, they’re still perfectly usable. If you’re looking for a fun Halloween activity and you’re also really hungry, you could find worse ways to spend a windy afternoon!
#58: Coke’s Thirst Buster! (1985)
You might be wondering why there’s a picture of Coke in the middle of this Halloween-themed feature. I have my reasons!
This is a very rare press photo of Coke’s THIRST BUSTERS – the three-liter mega bottles that hit the scene in 1985. They were impractically large and went flat quick, but they sure came in handy at large family gatherings.
It’s the name “THIRST BUSTER” that qualifies this photo for the Mausoleum. See, that was a play on Ghostbusters, which premiered barely a year before these ginormous bottles were released, and was still very much in the zeitgeist.
…and it was natural for Coke to make the pun, because at the time, Columbia Pictures – the studio that distributed Ghostbusters – was still owned by Coca-Cola! (Hell, they even got Ray Parker Jr. to record a soda-themed spin on the classic theme!)
Since my insane parents dragged me to see Ghostbusters when I was just five years old, I fell in love with that universe even before the cartoon and toys arrived. For a while, Coke’s Thirst Buster was my jam – not so much because I wanted to drink that much soda, but because it was arguably connected to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
#57: 7UP Trick-or-Treat Bag! (1991)
Listen, I’ve seen hundreds of promotional trick-or-treat bags over the years, so when I tell you that this is a Top 5’er, it’s no small compliment.
Given away at grocery stores back in ‘91, these plastic sacks combine my two greatest loves: Halloween, and those old school cans of Cherry 7UP.
These are from the era when 7UP still employed their “Spot” mascots. To this day, I don’t understand why they fired ‘em. Were they difficult to work with? They seemed amiable enough in the TV commercials.
Take note of the 7UP rebate coupon printed directly on the bag. Personally, even adjusting for inflation, I can’t see valuing a dollar over such a beautiful candy sack. Imagine cutting this work of art just to endure the awkwardness of handing a cashier a flimsy plastic coupon. Couldn’t be me!
#56: Inflatable McDonald’s Bat! (1990s)
I’m making an educated guess that this handsome guy is from the ‘90s, but he may be even older. Whatever the case, it’s a reminder of an era when McDonald’s really went hard on the Halloween decorations.
While some of their restaurants still dress up for the season, it used to be standard. In fact, McDonald’s used to offer branded decoration packages to any franchisee who wanted them, and most did, because the easiest way to sell cheeseburgers was by promising customers that they’d see cute bats when they ordered them.
There’s tremendous nostalgia surrounding yesteryear’s Halloween Happy Meals, but a less-celebrated part of that magic was experiencing McDonald’s when it was dolled up with orange streamers, honeycomb tissue spiders, and yes, even inflatable bats with corporate sponsorship tattoos. Read More…