Dino Drac’s Countdown to Xmas!

Welcome to Dino Drac’s Countdown to Christmas! This feature will be updated daily (or close to daily) through December 25th, with some kind of holiday-related thingamajig. You never know what might turn up!

This one’s really for the old schoolers who prefer blogs to algorithmic timelines full of ads for dicey hair products. I won’t be plugging it often off-site. If this is up your alley, remember to check back often! (And visit After Dark and the Xmas Jukebox, too!)

12/15: Holiday Lucky Charms! (1992)

While it wasn’t unusual for cereals to have holiday-themed TV commercials in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, actual holiday-themed cereals were rare. Christmas Crunch might have been the first, but right behind it was Holiday Lucky Charms.

HLC, as the hip cats call it, debuted in 1989 and made scattered appearances for years after that. Every time it turned up, the box was redesigned, and sometimes the yuletide marshmallows got updated, too. (Later, even name changes weren’t out of the question. The “Winter Lucky Charms” boxes of the 2000s were arguably part of the same lineage.)

This version, though, might be my favorite. In 1992, Holiday Lucky Charms personified Christmas coziness. That pine green box! Errant branches! The promise of eight different seasonally-appropriate marshmallows, ranging in shape from candy canes to bells! We were overserved on holiday cheer.

(The cereal even came with a free ornament, which isn’t shown here, but was originally rubber-cemented right to the front of the box!)

12/14: Empire Snowman Blow Mold! (1960s)

Is this my first-ever Christmas blow mold? It might be! As mentioned previously in this feature, my family didn’t do the blow mold thing when I was a kid, and I can’t recall picking up any on my own as an adult. So yes, this is a historic moment, and I look forward to selling the movie rights for fabulous cash.

This 13” rosy-cheeked snowman was made by Empire in the 1960s. I’m stubbornly refusing to believe that it was a reissue from the ‘70s or later, even if that’s just as likely. Whatever the case, he’s definitely vintage, he’s definitely adorable, and he’s definitely improved my life in dramatic ways.

PS, here’s a hot tip for any would-be blow mold collectors. One reservation I’d long had is that the original cords are ancient fire hazards, but those cords can be affordably replaced with modern ones. Just look for C7 accessory cords, and while you’re at it, grab a pack of C7 LED bulbs, which emanate almost zero heat.

12/14: The Season Moves Too Fast!

Counting the cotton balls on my 7UP poster tells me that today is December 14th, which is RIDICULOUS. I’m used to the holiday season’s breakneck pace, but the fact that Thanksgiving was already more than two weeks ago is straight-up black magic.

I’m trying to remind myself that while Christmas Eve is in just ten days, the holiday vibes usually last through New Year’s. Really, that’s all I’m concerned with. I can live without an extra adventure, and I can almost stomach the idea that fresh cranberries will soon be out of season, but I’m definitely not ready to disassemble my junky tree, nor to fall asleep without obnoxiously Christmassy background videos looping on YouTube.

Still, there are a few little things I wanna do before Santa’s arrival. I haven’t watched many holiday movies this season, so that’s on the docket. I would like to go to a mall, any mall, because I’m the big lame-o who still appreciates “mall culture” at Christmastime. I’d also like to work in some nighttime drives around the neighborhood to see everyone’s lights, with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around a Dunkin holiday cup.

That’s a pretty easy checklist. It’s good to have low standards, sometimes.

12/12: Betty Crocker’s Eggnog Pie! (1965)

A classic recipe from Betty Crocker in the ‘60s, Fruit Cocktail Eggnog Pie was exactly what it sounds like – a pie made with whipped eggnog, topped with a ring of canned fruit cocktail.

I’ve seen similar magazine ads containing this recipe floating around social media, and the reactions are always mixed. I’m not even a pie guy, but I dunno, I think this looks pretty great? It has all the visual charm you’d want from a retro recipe, but there’s nothing off-putting about it, either.

Will I make it for the family Christmas party? I mean, I want to, but historically, what I want to bring to the Christmas party (crockpots of marinating cocktail franks, celery-stuffed Jell-O molds) and what I actually bring to the party (ten dollars’ worth of cookies bought five minutes before arriving) are very different things. But it’s a nice thought.

12/12: Dunkin’s Crystal Apple! (1983)

If you’re an active thrifter, you’ve probably seen this glass apple container more than once. Well, now you know where they came from!

For a multi-year stretch in the early ‘80s, Dunkin’ Donuts sold these gorgeous “crystal” apple jars, filled with thirty Munchkins. Since nobody wanted to toss a perfectly good glass jar, they hung around households for years after the Munchkins were finished. Hell, some of you probably still have one!

I just love the idea of turning up at a friend’s house on a Sunday morning, ready to demand coffee in trade for my Munchkin-filled apple. I’d be wearing my longest coat and a red scarf, because obviously, it’d be snowing outside. We’d eat donut holes, gossip about the neighbors, compare notes on how far we’ve gotten on our holiday shopping, and end the visit with some variation of, “If I don’t see you, have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.”

12/11: TRU Christmas Dream Book! (1986)

Released annually for a few years, the Toys “R” Us Dream Book was a series of circulars that went out with Sunday newspapers. They were neither long nor thorough, serving up only small samplings of the particular year’s hottest toys.

The best part was always the cover. TRU’s Dream Books had amazing covers. This 1986 edition is fantastic… even if my heart says that it was created a year or two prior, for a different advertisement. Sticking a Coleco Robo-Force figure in the center made no sense otherwise. Those were on liquidation by Xmas of ‘86! I hate that I know this.

Inside were six pages’ worth of talking geese, laser guns, infants that grew like leafy vegetables, and of course, ThunderCats. Six pages, maybe eight, I don’t really remember. What’s important is this cover, featuring what must’ve been an especially large Christmas tree, given that the average height of a male giraffe is 17 feet.

12/10: Santa Barney Animation Cel! (1980s)

During last year’s Christmas feature, I showed you a genuine animation cel from the legendary Pebbles Cereal Christmas commercial, which played a gazillion times in the ‘80s and ‘90s, and was a huge part of my childhood. (And probably yours, too.)

Since then, I’ve managed to collect several other cels from that TV spot, including this gem. You’re looking at an animation cel of Barney Rubble RIGHT as he delivered his famous line, “Ho ho ho, I’m hu-hu-hungry!”

It just blows my mind to own literal pieces of that commercial, which meant so much to so many of us. Think about how insane that is. Any time you catch that commercial in one of the thousand YouTube Christmas compilations from here on out, know that several physical pieces of it are living here at Castle Dracula. WILD.

(If you’re wondering which other ones I found, I have a couple of Santa, a couple of Fred, one of Barney splatting down the chimney, and then another of Barney when he’s clinking spoons with Fred at the end of the commercial. Not bad!)

12/10: Nabisco Holiday Appetizers! (1960s)

If these are the vibes at your holiday party, please invite me.

These images were pulled from a 1960s Nabisco recipe pamphlet, which explains why you’re seeing so many Ritz and Triscuits. (Along with crackers Nabisco no longer makes, like “Chippers,” “Bacon Thins,” and other things that sound like fake brands from The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food.)

I wouldn’t trade the Italianness of my family’s Christmases for anything, but it does mean that we’ve long lacked this specific spark of Americana. These just aren’t the sorts of trays that go out with fried calamari, you know? We’ve always been more of a Traditional Antipasto Troop.

Several years ago, I visited a friend’s house on Christmas evening, and the table was full of shit like this. I was ecstatic, and after a few minutes, absolutely stuffed with green olives. Was that how the other side lived? Maybe life without cannolis or midnight sausage wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

12/9: A Very Telco Christmas!

I said I’d cool it with the Telco stuff, and I mostly have, but this was worth showing off.

I set up my silly fake pre-lit tree yesterday, and then decided to spice things up with a pair of Telco’s “Mr. Bones” Motionettes. I believe they’re from 1987, but don’t quote me.

Mr. Bones isn’t exactly rare, but he’s a popular one. I was lucky to snag these two when the prices dropped after Halloween, and it’s easy to see why he’s so beloved. A 22-inch skeletal reaper with moving arms and a light-up head? Who wouldn’t swoon?

After replacing the bulbs in each of their heads, I was able to turn this tag team into a Christmas miracle. I also realized that tree garland was light enough for them to hold without putting any real strain on their fragile gears. Now I’ve got a Christmas tree AND a pair of color-coordinated monsters to help decorate it.

The Mr. Bones Motionettes will remain in my office for the rest of the season, beaming holiday colors while threatening to choke me with silver garland from Dollar Tree. It’s exactly how Christmas should be.

12/8: Holiday McNuggets Translite! (1987)

Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you about McDonald’s Holiday Chicken McNuggets for the millionth time. Not really, anyway.

Okay, maybe a little, but I’m mostly here because this old translite – the square, plastic, backlit “posters” that used to hang in the restaurants – was a surprising gap in my collection.

I already had other translites celebrating the promotion’s two-year run, but this was an important grab. Shown here is the 1987 version of Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which wasn’t only the first, but in my opinion, the best.

That’s largely thanks to McD’s including two limited edition sauces that year – Cranberry Orange, and Apple Spice. While Holiday Chicken McNuggets did return in 1988, both of those sauces were gone, replaced by a single new one. (“Holiday Orange,” if you were wondering.)

This objet d’art will soon be framed, so I wanted to get a photo taken before reflective glass made that impossible. Enjoy the vibes!