The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! Every day through Halloween, check back for another vintage creepy collectible – everything from deep cut toys to ancient store displays to at least one totally insane costume. Probably ten cereal boxes, too.
I won’t be plugging this on social media much, so you’ll have to remember to visit on your own. Maybe stick an orange Post-It on the fridge. (Yes, it must be orange.)
PS, if you missed last year’s Mausoleum of Madness, it’s over here.
#61: Telco “Kong” Motionette! (1980s)
Of all my many Telco scores this season, I consider this my greatest. From the late ‘80s, this is the 24” Telco “King Kong” Motionette – in quotes because they never actually called it that, even if it’s clearly what they were going for.
I picked him up early in the season when I was just starting to get into these, and it was a classic case of beginner’s luck. He’s easily worth over a grand, but I didn’t pay nearly that much. Not even close. It was such a good deal that I doubted the seller would ever ship the thing.
Even then, Kong exceeded all expectations. This guy is in gem mint condition, and looks like some scale replica animatronic a theme park might’ve used to pitch an expansion. He’s huge, with glowing orange eyes, animated arms, and a head that continuously swivels back and forth.
He works perfectly, too. Course, I don’t turn him on very often, as he’s damn near irreplaceable and I don’t want to tempt fate. Kong wasn’t even on my radar when I began collecting these, but if my place caught fire and I could only save one Motionette, it’d be this gorilla.
I’ve had him for weeks now, and the novelty hasn’t dissipated. Just one of those things that feels too exquisite to own. It boggles my mind that these big, heavy, expensive-looking apes were ever mass-produced and in stores like Kmart. He FEELS like a one-of-one, you know?
#60: My Pet Monster Decoration! (1986)
This thing is so obscure, even the diehard My Pet Monster fans haven’t heard of it. They’ll lie and say they did, but that’s just pride. From Carlton Cards in 1986, here we have an INCREDIBLY HUGE die-cut My Pet Monster Halloween decoration, with jointed limbs.
It absolutely dwarfs the stuffed toy, which is no easy feat. Really wish I’d included something in that photo for scale, but barring a 2024 GMC Hummer, I’m not sure what could’ve truly conveyed how big he is.
Mine was a lucky Facebook Marketplace find. If you see this on eBay, it’s usually hovering around $250. I wish I could tell you it’s worth that, but even a giant pile of cardboard is still just a pile of cardboard. With something like this, the play is to wait for some know-nothing to list it as “BLUE CREATURE PAPER DECORATION.”
#59: WIlton Party Pan! (1981)
I’m determined to bake this cake before Halloween. I probably won’t succeed, but it’s my happy thought.
I have immense nostalgia for these old Wilton cake pans, not so much for any vast hands-on experience, but because I grew up seeing them in my mother’s magazines.
She kept all of those – issues of Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping and the like – in a fat stack in one of our kitchen cabinets. I was weirdly obsessed with them, and Wilton was a frequent advertiser. Hell, they released quite a few magazines on their own, too!
Good news for interested parties: These vintage pans are generally dirt cheap. If you want them with the original paper inserts, you’ll pay a little more, but if you can live without those, people can barely give the things away.
This jack-o-lantern is one of the many Halloween-themed pans Wilton released in the ‘80s, which ran the gamut from flying witches to haunted houses. So long as you avoid the pans that’ve rusted to shit, they’re still perfectly usable. If you’re looking for a fun Halloween activity and you’re also really hungry, you could find worse ways to spend a windy afternoon! Read More…