Dino Drac’s 25 Days of Christmas!
12/12: A Very Faygo Christmas! (1988)
This Faygo magazine ad comes from a time long before the Juggalos commandeered the soda for their own nefarious, whoop-whooping purposes.
The Michigan-based brand has in more recent years embraced its reputation with louder labels and wilder flavors, but back then, it was “classy” enough to join Schweppes on a Sears photoshoot without looking out of place.
I was talking with a friend yesterday, and we were waxing nostalgic about how these old magazine ads were composed and lit. Or underlit, as the case was. Everything felt smoky and cozy and maybe even a little creepy, like the photos were shot in dive bars under the indirect light of 10-watt bulbs. Swoon.
12/11: Gremlins Trading Cards! (1984)
Just a couple of trading cards from one of my favorite Christmas movies, Gremlins. (I don’t need to plead my case, right? This isn’t a “borderline” situation. I mean, Gizmo himself was a damned Christmas present!)
The film was one of my major childhood obsessions. I didn’t see Gremlins until it arrived in video stores, but by then, I’d already bought the toys, ate the cereal, read the storybooks, and prayed to God for my own pet Mogwai.
My family made a copy using the two-VCRs trick, and through some minor miracle, I still have that tape. I have no idea how it survived, given how many times I used to play it.
I have a weird thing with this film. No matter how many times I see Gremlins – and keep in mind, that number is well over 100 by now – it never feels overly familiar.
I’d say it’s a testament to how well it was made, but it’s more likely the fact that every time I watch Gremlins, my attention to the movie competes with daydreams about me and Gizmo reading comic books and eating Ruffles.
12/10: Christmas Snow Punch! (1988)
I was pleased as punch to discover this ad in the back of one of my many old holiday magazines, instructing us on how to make “Christmas Snow Punch.”
It’s a mix of Sprite, vanilla ice cream, and Hi-C Hula Punch — a long-discontinued flavor that was basically Hi-C’s version of Hawaiian Punch. The ad hints that Minute Maid Fruit Punch would work just as well, and since that’s still in supermarkets, you can use it as a stand-in if you’re dying to try this.
Actually, the recipe was already a bit of an antique by 1988. These punches involving ice cream (or sometimes sherbet) are all over my even older cookbooks from the ’60s, when no amount of sugar was too much sugar. I’ve made a few in the past, and the results aren’t as milky as you might expect.
Course, I’m mostly showing you this because the image of Hi-C Hula Punch surrounded by holiday party supplies begged to be shared!
12/9: Holiday Junk Food Spread! (1988)
I pulled this page from one of my many old holiday magazines, and I just had to share it with you. What a spread!
As a kid, I was always the one pushing for there to be some “regular” junk food at Christmas. It wasn’t the norm in my very Italian family, where giant antipasto platters and breadsticks were (and remain) the standard. At best, there’d be a can of mixed nuts out.
Since my family went all-in on Christmas Eve, I frequently spent Christmas Day at my old best friend’s house. He lived right across the street, and his family’s ideas about appetizers were a lot closer to what you see in that photo. Like a grade school birthday party, with better china. I adored it!
12/8: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5! (1991)
You’re looking at an old rental copy of Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker, which believe it or not is kind of a cult favorite. Some people like it for Mickey Rooney’s unlikely casting… others like it because if you look really close, you’ll spot some Pee-wee’s Playhouse action figures hiding in the background of a few shots.
Man, I know 39 cents was worth more in the ’90s, but this was still a dirt cheap rental. I used to love it when video stores ran specials like that. It’s how I ended up seeing so many goofy movies. Course, today, you don’t even need to invest that much. Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 streams for free on Tubi. If you’re looking to end your weekend with a dash of holiday horror, you could do a lot worse!
12/7: Hershey’s Holiday Chocolates! (1980s)
As a kid, bowlfuls of Hershey’s candies in holiday wrappers were a big part of my Christmas season. I don’t recall my parents having any particular affinity for Hershey’s Kisses or those tiny-sized chocolate bars, but during December, they bought them by the wheelbarrow.
The bowls were dotted across the house, upstairs and downstairs. In the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve, they were almost purely for decorative use. I was allowed to take some candy here and there, but it was really meant for company, and especially meant for our big party on Christmas Eve.
If I pushed my luck too far, my mother would notice, and for a woman who wasn’t much of a disciplinarian, this was one area where you didn’t want to mess with her. (It would’ve been even worse if she knew that I mainly wanted the candy so I could give cool foil capes to my action figures.)
Now, it made sense to put bowls of candy on the dining room table, and the coffee table in our living room. But I swear, these things were everywhere. You’d go downstairs, to what was theoretically our second living room but in practice was more just a place to store random shit, and there you’d find even more bowls of Hershey’s candy, tucked onto forgotten bookshelves.
Course, our Christmas Eve parties were huge, and it wasn’t uncommon for guests to spread all through the house. At one point or another, everyone sought refuge from being trapped next to dozens of screaming people. Come Christmas morning, all of those candy bowls, no matter how oddly-placed, would be almost empty, with rolled-up foil wrappers next to them.
If I was lucky, I’d find a few spare Krackels. They were my favorite.
