Dino Drac’s Countdown to Xmas!

Welcome to Dino Drac’s Countdown to Christmas! This feature will be updated daily (or close to daily) through December 25th, with some kind of holiday-related thingamajig. You never know what might turn up!

This one’s really for the old schoolers who prefer blogs to algorithmic timelines full of ads for dicey hair products. I won’t be plugging it often off-site. If this is up your alley, remember to check back often! (And visit After Dark and the Xmas Jukebox, too!)

12/24: Merry Christmas Eve!

Okay, so obviously I’ve missed a bunch of days on this Countdown to Christmas feature, which is what happens when you totally underestimate how FRANTICALLY BUSY the last half of December can get. It’s not like I’ve been staring at a blank page, unable to come up with a couple of paragraphs about holiday bric-a-brac. I just haven’t had time!

I’d intended to drop a giant batch of makeup entries today, but given that it’s already around 3PM on Christmas Eve, you’re going to have to settle for a photo of me in my brand new Grimace holiday sweater.

Today was just the latest in a series of whirlwinds. Did I wait until Christmas Eve to wrap all of my gifts? You bet I did. Did I wait until Christmas Eve to go food shopping for everything I’ll need between now and 12/26? Yep. Did I at least get the laundry done before this morning, so I wouldn’t have to add that to the list? No, no I did not.

I think my breaking point was remembering that I was also in charge of bringing 40 egg rolls from a local Chinese takeout joint to the party. I’m not sure where I thought “three or four hours of blogging” was supposed to fit in.

Eventually, I decided that the most important thing was to just come on here and say “Merry Christmas Eve.” So that’s what I’m doing. If you’re a Christmas person, I hope you have a wonderful day, and if you’re not a Christmas person, I still hope for the same, in whatever way it takes shape. Have a blast!

12/19: Italian Christmas Cookies!

I may not be eating them at the moment, but the holidays ain’t the holidays until I buy a box of Italian Christmas cookies. During December, they’re all over the salumerias where I live, ready to thrill and delight with sprinkles in every color and a snowy dusting of powdered sugar.

These have been part of literally every Christmas season that I can remember. These exact cookies, in these exact shapes and colors. In particular, they remind me of my late grandparents’ house in Brooklyn, where they’d be spread across a dinner plate and served with espresso. I’d grab my share, and then sneak back to the basement to watch the three channels they got on that terrible ten-inch TV.

As a kid, I always rushed for the “normal” chocolate chip cookie (top-middle), on the basis of it being the closest to Chips Ahoy. Nowadays, I plainly recognize that the Rainbow Cookies – which basically taste like a sugary almond cake – are the ones to aim for. Everyone else knows that, too. They’re always the first to go, and there are never enough of them!

12/17: A Golden Girls Christmas! (1986)

Shown above are shots from the first-ever Golden Girls Christmas episode, ‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas, which premiered in December of 1986.

This particular scene happens early in the episode, when the ladies exchange homemade gifts. Rose gives Dorothy a wooden maple syrup spigot. (“This’ll come in a lot handier than those pearl earrings the next time I’m lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes!”) Blanche gives everyone calendars featuring the men she’s dated, and they all take a particular interest in Mr. September. (“I’m surprised you were able to walk in October!”)

It’s all fun stuff, but what really stuck with me about this scene was how idyllically Christmassy everything was. The decorated tree, from an era when people were unafraid to use six pounds of tinsel. The perfectly-wrapped gifts, which looked like props that would’ve been dotted around the cotton landscape at a Mall Santa’s photoshoot. Finally, of course, was the holiday punch.

A glamorous crystal bowl filled with what looked like (and probably was) strawberry Kool-Aid. The sight of Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia sipping away still tickles me!

I’ve clocked countless hours trying to decide if their punch was spiked. None of the girls were teetotalers, and if there’s anything that could make this scene even better, it’s the idea that Sophia was half in the bag five minutes later, eating peeled tomatoes straight from the can.

All in all, it’s just one of the many scenes from old holiday-themed sitcom episodes that became so baked into my brain that I now have to remind myself that I’m remembering stuff from TV shows, and not things I personally experienced IRL.

12/16: Bountiful Blow Molds!

I didn’t mean for this to happen! I guess the ever-spying algorithms caught me talking about that little snowman blow mold from a few entries back, because when I checked Facebook Marketplace in the aftermath, it was just an endless sea of plastic Christmas people.

I couldn’t help noticing that in the mix were several from one particular seller who didn’t only price them much lower than average, but who was also incredibly local. By the time I contacted the guy, he’d already sold off some choice pieces, but there was still enough left for a literal CARLOAD of vintage holiday blow molds.

Two giant Santas! A huge candle! A big snowman! I even bought an enormous jack-o’-lantern, because by that point, the fever had completely taken hold. In my defense, the prices were REALLY good. I paid $135 for a lot that’s easily worth $400+.

I know you want more than the small glimpse this drive-home selfie provides, but you’ll have to wait a little longer for that. I don’t know where to put these things! They’re staying in the car until I clear out some space. Don’t worry, I’ll have an update soon enough – and a very ridiculous photo to go along with it.

12/15: Holiday Lucky Charms! (1992)

While it wasn’t unusual for cereals to have holiday-themed TV commercials in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, actual holiday-themed cereals were rare. Christmas Crunch might have been the first, but right behind it was Holiday Lucky Charms.

HLC, as the hip cats call it, debuted in 1989 and made scattered appearances for years after that. Every time it turned up, the box was redesigned, and sometimes the yuletide marshmallows got updated, too. (Later, even name changes weren’t out of the question. The “Winter Lucky Charms” boxes of the 2000s were arguably part of the same lineage.)

This version, though, might be my favorite. In 1992, Holiday Lucky Charms personified Christmas coziness. That pine green box! Errant branches! The promise of eight different seasonally-appropriate marshmallows, ranging in shape from candy canes to bells! We were overserved on holiday cheer.

(The cereal even came with a free ornament, which isn’t shown here, but was originally rubber-cemented right to the front of the box!)

12/14: Empire Snowman Blow Mold! (1960s)

Is this my first-ever Christmas blow mold? It might be! As mentioned previously in this feature, my family didn’t do the blow mold thing when I was a kid, and I can’t recall picking up any on my own as an adult. So yes, this is a historic moment, and I look forward to selling the movie rights for fabulous cash.

This 13” rosy-cheeked snowman was made by Empire in the 1960s. I’m stubbornly refusing to believe that it was a reissue from the ‘70s or later, even if that’s just as likely. Whatever the case, he’s definitely vintage, he’s definitely adorable, and he’s definitely improved my life in dramatic ways.

PS, here’s a hot tip for any would-be blow mold collectors. One reservation I’d long had is that the original cords are ancient fire hazards, but those cords can be affordably replaced with modern ones. Just look for C7 accessory cords, and while you’re at it, grab a pack of C7 LED bulbs, which emanate almost zero heat.

12/14: The Season Moves Too Fast!

Counting the cotton balls on my 7UP poster tells me that today is December 14th, which is RIDICULOUS. I’m used to the holiday season’s breakneck pace, but the fact that Thanksgiving was already more than two weeks ago is straight-up black magic.

I’m trying to remind myself that while Christmas Eve is in just ten days, the holiday vibes usually last through New Year’s. Really, that’s all I’m concerned with. I can live without an extra adventure, and I can almost stomach the idea that fresh cranberries will soon be out of season, but I’m definitely not ready to disassemble my junky tree, nor to fall asleep without obnoxiously Christmassy background videos looping on YouTube.

Still, there are a few little things I wanna do before Santa’s arrival. I haven’t watched many holiday movies this season, so that’s on the docket. I would like to go to a mall, any mall, because I’m the big lame-o who still appreciates “mall culture” at Christmastime. I’d also like to work in some nighttime drives around the neighborhood to see everyone’s lights, with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around a Dunkin holiday cup.

That’s a pretty easy checklist. It’s good to have low standards, sometimes.

12/12: Betty Crocker’s Eggnog Pie! (1965)

A classic recipe from Betty Crocker in the ‘60s, Fruit Cocktail Eggnog Pie was exactly what it sounds like – a pie made with whipped eggnog, topped with a ring of canned fruit cocktail.

I’ve seen similar magazine ads containing this recipe floating around social media, and the reactions are always mixed. I’m not even a pie guy, but I dunno, I think this looks pretty great? It has all the visual charm you’d want from a retro recipe, but there’s nothing off-putting about it, either.

Will I make it for the family Christmas party? I mean, I want to, but historically, what I want to bring to the Christmas party (crockpots of marinating cocktail franks, celery-stuffed Jell-O molds) and what I actually bring to the party (ten dollars’ worth of cookies bought five minutes before arriving) are very different things. But it’s a nice thought.

12/12: Dunkin’s Crystal Apple! (1983)

If you’re an active thrifter, you’ve probably seen this glass apple container more than once. Well, now you know where they came from!

For a multi-year stretch in the early ‘80s, Dunkin’ Donuts sold these gorgeous “crystal” apple jars, filled with thirty Munchkins. Since nobody wanted to toss a perfectly good glass jar, they hung around households for years after the Munchkins were finished. Hell, some of you probably still have one!

I just love the idea of turning up at a friend’s house on a Sunday morning, ready to demand coffee in trade for my Munchkin-filled apple. I’d be wearing my longest coat and a red scarf, because obviously, it’d be snowing outside. We’d eat donut holes, gossip about the neighbors, compare notes on how far we’ve gotten on our holiday shopping, and end the visit with some variation of, “If I don’t see you, have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.”