The last thing I ever thought I’d tackle again is a Playmobil Advent Calendar, and in terms of a weird, winding story with an always-growing cast of characters, no, I won’t. In fact, I’ve intentionally shied away from even mentioning the AC, because while some folks liked that saga, it just isn’t something I’m interested in continuing on Dino Drac.
But, good God. LOOK AT THE THEME FOR THIS YEAR’S.
Your eyes don’t deceive you. It’s a DINOSAUR EXPEDITION Playmobil Advent Calendar. A Dinosaur Expedition Playmobil Advent Calendar, tossed in the line of sight of a Playmobil connoisseur who now runs a site NAMED AFTER A DINOSAUR.
Okay, so technically, it’s a 2011 model. But this is the first time I’m seeing it.
It had to be a sign. Of course I had to cover this. The difference is, I’ll be doing it in a very small way. No massive adventure. No connection to the previous story or characters. This has nothing to do with the past, and everything to do with DINOSAURS.
It works out perfectly, too. If you’ve been paying attention, you know that my December work schedule is awful. I mean, really awful. Dino Drac’s 1st Christmas season is going to be presented in bite-sized morsels, and I’ll need all the bite-sized morsels I can find.
Thus, without further ado, here’s the short-and-sweet first entry of Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st (and perhaps only) Advent Calendar.
It’s December 1st, and Playmobil didn’t skimp on the inaugural gift. He’s a Safari Man, and Dino Drac (the monster, not the site) couldn’t be happier about it.
Now he just has to decide if Safari Man will be “friend” or “food.”
More likely, Safari Man will be “friend, THEN food.” Dino Drac will enjoy playing tag with Safari Man for a few days, and then, when that gets boring, he’ll bite through his stomach and eat him guts-first. It’s what dinosaurs do, even when they’re part vampires.
If you count the invisible pair on his pants, Safari Man has eight pockets. His hair looks like the lovechild of a bat and a Pac-Man ghost. Without discernible fingers, his hands appear more like flippers.
“So! You’re a mutant!” In light of this discovery, Dino Drac grew hesitant to eat him. Surely some traveling sideshow would pay a pretty penny for a man with flippers. Especially after they heard Dino Drac’s sales pitch.
“Not only is he a mutant, but he has eight pockets. All this can be yours for three thousand dollars and a vial of camel’s blood. I’ll knock off five hundred if you use real camel’s blood and don’t try to trick me with like, pig’s blood. Don’t think I won’t know the difference.”
What will tomorrow bring?