Snow Day!

Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows:

It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking.

I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one. My city is far from recovered from Sandy, and I should not be asking God for more of his ethereal dandruff. This snow is obviously going to make a tough situation worse for so many neighbors. On the other hand, if I donate $50 to the Red Cross, that’s probably penance enough for enjoying it.

There isn’t going to be some big arc to this post. I just wanted to “archive” the moment, since there’s no guarantee that it’ll snow again before Christmas. This could be my one chance to make like Calvin before 2013. For about fifteen minutes earlier tonight, I did just that.

Speaking of Calvin, I recall at least one strip where he explained the different types of snow to Hobbes. Calvin was right. The snow from two storms is never exactly alike. It may be loose and light, dusting the world like sugar on a zeppole. It may be sopping and heavy – the kind that takes so long to stick, but once it does, the inches add fast.

Tonight’s snow looked light, but looks can be deceiving. I could not remember the last time I’d handled snow that was so perfect to do snowy things with.

I started making snowballs, but there was no one around to throw them at. Remembering the “lemons-to-lemonade” saying, my snowballs grew into a snowman.

Prince Xiatrous is his name, and I swear, there’s no cool reason for that.

He’s small and misshapen, appearing more like a snow-covered turkey than a three-tiered ball tower. (NOTE TO EDITOR: PLEASE REPLACE “THREE-TIERED BALL TOWER” WHEN YOU GIVE THIS A ONCE-OVER. I KNOW IT DOESN’T WORK. I’M STUCK.)

I could’ve built a traditional GIANT snowman with snow this good, but it was freakin’ cold out there. I don’t know what it is about my hands, but they’re ridiculously susceptible to cold weather. Even with gloves on, I was only outside for five minutes before my hands felt like they’d been beaten by hammers, and I stress the plural there, because no single hammer could’ve caused that much pain.

In the snow’s defense, I kept taking my gloves off to better manipulate the touchscreen buttons on my phone’s camera. Even without the gloves, it’s still tough to do that. I guess I can’t blame the snow for destroying my hands when I kept disrespecting it. You don’t enter snow’s domain with flesh paws.

I brought out my Primal Rage “Blizzard” figure. He’s a giant wintery yeti, and I knew he’d look great standing in the snow. He sort of did, but he sort of didn’t. The snow made it very apparent that this is one filthy action figure, yellowed by years of air grime. I wouldn’t have noticed this without the white snow to serve as a contrast. I think I was happier living in my bubble.

Ending our journey is a cup of “Marshmallow Madness” hot chocolate, out in the snow for some reason. I’m very fond of this type of Swiss Miss. The marshmallows come in all sorts of neon colors, and if they were a bit bigger, they’d easily work in a generic brand of Lucky Charms.

The best part is how the marshmallows tint the hot chocolate. It goes from brown to a brown that tries SO HARD to be red. Still brown, but less so. Just makes the whole experience more festive.

Last I heard, this snow is supposed to turn to rain. As I write this, we’re still getting pounded by giant flakes, but by the time I wake up, nothing may be left but residual slush. Rain does that to snow. It’s why a little bastard like Squirtle can claim victory over the great Articuno. (NOTE TO EDITOR: JUST TRASH THE WHOLE POKEMON LINE. CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR.)

From the perspective of someone who usually spends his holiday seasons goofing off and writing weird blogs, 2012 will be challenging. I’m on a gig at the moment, and though I don’t know if it’ll end up being that intense, it will certainly mean less time to string myself in bubble lights and tell all who will listen that my name is Mattree.

Knowing that, I gotta grab these little moments whenever I can. Snow is not to be wasted, even if it’s early November, and even if it makes my hands hurt.

Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. Come on in.