Merry Christmas, from Dinosaur Dracula!


I’m half-crocked on wine that tasted a little too much like vinegar, so apologies in advance if I make eighteen typos.

Christmas Eve is here. My favorite day of the whole year. Everything leads up to it, and everything after it leads up to the next one. Weird!

I haven’t posted as much as I would’ve liked to lately, but it’s not for any bad reason. Some of my more distant relatives are in town, and this whole past week has been filled with “Mini Christmases.” I didn’t want to miss any of them for the sake of one more candy review. Shit happens.

Today was nuts. We made a hundred stuffed mushrooms, and when I say “a hundred,” I don’t mean “a pile that looked like a hundred but was actually thirty.” I mean a literal HUNDRED stuffed mushrooms. I haven’t chopped that much parsley since I needed hair for my life-sized edible Joker.

Then came the last minute shopping. There was a lot of it. The stores actually weren’t too crowded, but when you’re shopping for gifts this late in the game, chances are that you have no idea what to buy. At least, I didn’t.

Some lady at Target asked if I needed help with anything. My impulse was to hug her ankles and scream, “I need SO MUCH help with EVERYTHING.” Instead I said “no” and continued walking in mindless circles for another twenty minutes. Hope you like cheap chocolate fountains, Sis.

When all was said and done, I took care of my to-dos, and even had enough time to come in 2nd in a surprise Scrabble game. (I lost to my nephew, but that’s okay, because I beat my brother. All I cared about was beating my brother.)


I’ve had a great Christmas season. Had a great Halloween season, too. You’ve heard my spiels before. September, October, November and December – those are my months. When I think of the “holiday season,” it’s that whole four-month stretch. It ain’t over yet, but this has definitely been one of my favorites. The wine says so.

But it’s not just the wine. I’m so thankful for the friends I’ve made through doing whatever the stuff I do here is. I’m so thankful that people still read/watch the stuff I do even though I’ve been doing it for a hundred billion years. I’m so thankful that I named my site Dinosaur Dracula, because it’s so much fun to draw that with crayons.


I want to wish everyone a merry Christmas, or whatever it is that you’re celebrating. Have a blast. Thank you to death for being a part of my anthill empire. I love you even if I have no idea who you are.

If I remember to charge my phone, I’ll be posting photos of tomorrow’s crazy nonsense, so remember to follow the site on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook. If I managed to make all of those words link correctly, it’s a fucking miracle.

I’m so looking forward to seeing where the site goes in 2014. Even if it’s nowhere new. I don’t care. If nothing else, I’m slated to write about Snaliens in January. So yeah. Snaliens are coming.


See you in a day or so!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a zzzzzzzzzzz

PS: Feel free to use the comments as your personal Christmas confessional. TELL US EVERYTHING. Who you’re seeing, where you’re going, what you’re getting. SPILL IT.