Five Random Action Figures, Part 25!
In this edition of Five Random Action Figures:
Tramps! Terminators! Snails! Sectaurs!
Plus an Ewok.
Prince Dargon
Sectaurs (1985)
Waaay back in the 2nd edition of Five Random Action Figures, I reintroduced you to General Spidrax, the lead villain in Coleco’s Sectaurs toy line, famous for its battery-operated giant insects that flapped their wings like portable fans. That was some sentence.
Prince Dargon was the lead hero. Though the Sectaurs line is mostly remembered for its beasts of burden and giant playset, the action figures were law-defyingly good. They were like He-Man figures mixed with G.I. Joe figures, better because they were bugs. Read More…
Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 4!
While digging through my barrel of tapes for the ongoing Five Retro TV Commercials series, I came across a real doozy: Several hours’ worth of Batman: The Animated Series episodes, all taped off of Fox back in 1993.
Fox Action Theater Intro! (1993)
I haven’t written much about Batman: TAS, but I was a very devoted fan. Dark, restrained and sensitive, it was pretty much the antithesis of most early ‘90s cartoons. I’ve loved lot of Bat-things over the years, but if I’m being objective, nothing has ever topped this series.
The VHS recording left every commercial intact, and since Batman: TAS was probably the only animated series I always made an effort to watch back in ‘93, I remember nearly all of them. Sooo many goodies!
I’d estimate that I could score at least four editions of Five Retro TV Commercials from this one tape. This is the first. See how many you remember, down below. For reference, they all would’ve aired in the fall of ‘93. Read More…
Marvel’s COOLOMETER, July 1991.
Being a comic reader and a comic collector can indeed be different things, but in the early ‘90s, I was both. Lured in by Marvel’s cosmic epics and sustained by all of those foil covers and bagged “exclusives,” this was a time when comics were white hot, and when every kid lived within walking distance of at least one comic shop. (In my case, I could pick between 3 or 4.)
During that time, Marvel tested a new feature within many of its titles: THE COOLOMETER, a tongue-in-cheek guide to what was cool (and more bitingly, uncool) on any given month.
In retrospect, I take these monthly Coolometers for what they were: Snarky jokes with a little bit of self-promotion thrown in. Still, as a kid, I put a lot of stock into them. Sometimes they’d validate my own likes or dislikes. Other times, they’d make me feel bad for being into things that were deemed “uncool.” Either way, I looked forward to them just as much as I looked forward to whatever heady adventures Adam Warlock was about to go on. Read More…
TMNT Pork Rinds from 1990?!
I spent $100 on Ninja Turtles pork rinds.
Actually, with shipping, I spent $104.
Distributed by Rolets in 1990, the pork rinds were meant to promote the first Ninja Turtles movie. (First and still the best, IMO.) While something pizza-related was obviously a more natural fit — and the Ninja Turtles did indeed team up with several pizza makers — there was an in-universe reason for this pork rinds promotion. More on that in a minute.
The decision to buy these didn’t come easily. I even ran a poll on Twitter, secretly hoping for strangers to talk me out of it, but knowing deep down that I was still gonna get these motherfuckers no matter what people said.
For one thing, I’d been chasing them for years. Very long ago, a “retired” TMNT collector tossed his whole collection on eBay. It was 90% action figures and other stuff from Playmates’ toy line, but barely visible in a pile of side dish ephemera was one beautiful bag of Ninja Turtles pork rinds.
No matter how many times I rephrased the question, the seller refused to break up the lot, which was far more money than I could spend even on a particularly stupid brain day. (Like, say, the other day, when I blew a hundred bucks on ancient pig.)
This was the first time I’d seen a still-sealed bag of ‘em since. I routinely resist the many hot new collectibles that all of my friends go wild for, but when I honestly feel like I’ll never have the chance to buy something again, my resolve dies and my entire body is taken over by tiny-sized idiot versions of me, who all shout “YOLO” in unison, sounding like evil chipmunks.
You’ve seen this behavior on display all over Dino Drac, which might’ve led you to believe that I really am flush enough to be able to afford literal garbage. Not true at all. With each of these purchases comes a huge pile of guilt. I then force myself to sell enough of my older collectibles so that the new thing could technically be construed as “free.” It’s like going to a pawn shop after a bender in Atlantic City. It’s exactly like that. Read More…