Gosh, I haven’t posted a new edition of Five Random Action Figures since… well, since last year’s Halloween Countdown. I don’t know what my problem is. I have plenty of old toys, and these are easy enough to write. Hopefully this is the start of a brighter future. If not, I’ll see you next year.

Because it’s the Halloween season, I’m exclusively featuring SPOOKY figures in this edition. (Are McNuggets dressed like clowns spooky? I think they are.)

Ronald McNugget!
McDonald’s McNugget Buddies (1996)

This one’s from the final wave of McDonald’s Halloween McNugget Buddies, which was definitely the weirdest wave. That was the set where you had McNuggets dressed like octopuses and Godzilla. And also Ronald McDonald.

Ronald isn’t the “coolest” figure from that set, but he’s still my favorite. While the logical explanation is that some random McNugget chose to dress like McDonaldland’s top dog, my headcanon states that this is the actual Ronald McDonald, who through a series of mishaps mutated into a Chicken McNugget.

The McNugget looks cute with the wig and shoes, but when he’s naked, that clown mouth is pure terror. I keep waiting for him to pull a Poltergeist-style scam on me. I’m not stupid, Ronald. The second I look away, I know you’re gonna kill me. Read More…

Posted by Matt on 10/06/21
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By the time you read any edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, it’s just words on a page and some embedded videos. What you don’t see is the long, ridiculous process involved with obtaining these old TV spots.

I hunt for vintage TV commercials all year long, and I’m always gunning for spooky spots. Sometimes I browse through dozens of tapes before I find one. Whenever I do, it’s like I’m in Johto and goddamned Ho-Oh landed right on my head.

When you watch these ads, just know that there was a digital adventure behind every single one of them!

Happy Halloween from WPIX! (1980s)

This short spot from WPIX aired *on* Halloween. I loved it when networks aired these little greetings, and many of them did, for practically every major holiday.

I watched television straight through plenty of holidays as a kid, and it was always depressing. It felt like the last thing anyone should be doing, even when the programming was seasonally-appropriate. Everything felt so automated and lifeless. It was the at-home version of a waiting room vibe.

So these five-second spots — essentially digital corporate cards — were always super appreciated. They made the experience seem less lonely, and let me trick myself into believing that I wasn’t watching shit that got programmed days prior.

I guess what I’m saying is, “Happy Halloween to you too, Channel 11!” Read More…

Posted by Matt on 10/04/21
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Welcome to October! I wanted to do something special to kick off this most awesomely unholy of months, so surprise, you’re getting a Friday night video:

Click here to watch it on YouTube!

Join me for ten minutes as I tell you about the best “unusual” things I used to get while trick-or-treating, like McDonald’s gift certificates and teensy tiny comic books. My prime trick-or-treat years started in the mid ‘80s and ended in the early ‘90s, so if you’re around my age, this one’s gonna pack a big nostalgic punch!

What were some of the “weirder” things — good and bad — that YOU used to get while trick-or-treating? Confess and boast, in the comments!

Thanks so much for watching the video, too! The vids will be a big focus this month, so you’ll definitely be getting a few more. Enjoy the start of October, and I’ll be back early next week with more. In the meantime, you can visit Dino Drac After Dark for late-night chats with fellow Halloween maniacs.

Posted by Matt on 10/01/21
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