Dino Drac’s “Big Boxes of Joy” for sale!
[stextbox id=”alert”]UPDATE: The Big Boxes of Joy sold out in record time. Thanks, all! Still have some Merry Mini Funpacks left — see below! For those dying for a Box of Joy, I’ll see if I have enough replacements to cover a few extras later this week. E-mail me if interested and I’ll be in touch![/stextbox]
The holidays are mainly about squeezing everyone dry, so I’m here to sell you random junk!
These occasional sales have become critical for my continued existence as “this blogger guy.” I like to think of them as “donations with benefits.” That makes it easier for me to explain why anyone would buy old lunch bags.
This time around, I have two options for ya. First are Dino Drac’s BIG BOXES OF JOY, which are kinda expensive and in very limited supply. For those looking for something cheaper, I’ve also put together a batch of MERRY MINI FUNPACKS.
Details on both are below. Please note that some of these items have appeared in previous Funpacks, so pay close attention to the details. If you’ve bought something before and hate doubles with a passion, I won’t blame you for skipping these!
First up… THE BIG BOXES OF JOY!
(Sample Box #1)
(Sample Box #2)
Dino Drac’s Big Box of Joy
Price: $50, shipped anyway in the continental U.S.
(Sorry, U.S. orders only!)
Feeling lucky? Like to gamble? Then this is the thing for you. A whole box of RIDICULOUS STUFF, sure to entertain you for a solid fifteen minutes!
No two boxes are exactly alike, but each *definitely* includes the following:
– A 1982 G.I. Joe ID Bracelet, mint on card!
– One “top shelf” item, such as a Real Ghostbusters Slimer Watch, a Thundercats “Mail-Away Mumm-Ra” figure or something like that!
– A Haunted Luck Monkey *or* a promotional Congo “Grey Gorilla” figure!
– A vintage Real Ghostbusters lunch sack *or* a vintage TMNT lunch sack – and sometimes both!
– A sealed vintage Gremlins Book & Record set!
– An “Adventures of Kool-Aid Man” comic book from 1989!
– A “Learn Colors with E.T.” book from 1983!
– Two sealed containers of Spider Bites candy! (Bodies are half-melted – these didn’t keep so well!)
– Two vintage cereal prizes!
– A vintage packet of Kool-Aid!
– A random pack of trading cards!
– A random promotional Christmas ornament from the ‘80s, featuring the likes of the Keebler Elves or the Energizer Bunny!
– Dino Drac’s Tiny-Sized Tacky Christmas Photo!
– Plus extra cards/stickers/surprises!
Wow. That’s a lot of crap! Read More…
I won a giant gingerbread house.
…that’s the short version. I won a giant gingerbread house.
It’s huge, it’s delicate, and it smells so sincere. Good God, the smell! Glade might try to make it into an aerosol mist, but only the genuine articles smell like this.
I won it from that Christmas fair. The one I’ve been going to since childhood. The one I wrote about last year. The one I wrote about almost a decade ago.
If you’ve been reading me, you know the drill. The star of the fair is its parade of “raffle baskets.” You buy tickets and trade them for chances at various gift baskets, donated by presumed Catholics and filled with all sorts of prizes.
One basket might have a few LEGO sets. Another might come with a serving dish and a certificate to score ten free pounds of calamari from a nearby seafood market. Still another might include a teddy bear, warm cheese and a gravy boat. You generally wouldn’t waste tickets on that one. Read More…
That cheese with the nuts around it.
No Christmas season is complete without THAT CHEESE.
I don’t know if there’s an official term for it. They’re essentially hockey pucks made of cheese, rimmed with crushed almonds.
I cannot remember a Christmas Eve without them. They sometimes appeared during Thanksgiving or even the scattered birthday party, but Christmas Eve was/is the big one.
As a child, I was obsessed with this cheese. My Italian family always had seafood-rich menus on Christmas Eve, and since I hated seafood, this cheese was basically my dinner.
It’d be one of the first things put out for consumption, and I’d spend seven hours trying to keep everyone else away from it. Had I a stick and a fluency in German, I’d have been smacking fingers and yelling “Mein Käse!”
This magical cheese comes in a variety of shapes of sizes, but around here, nothing has ever trumped the three-pack. It’s always looked just like this. There’s something comforting about that. In a world where so few things stay standard, I can always count on this cheese. Read More…
TMNT “Capture the Kraang” Game!
Right, like I was going to pass this up.
“Capture the Kraang” is a clever spin on the old game where you use a little rod to yank fake fish out of a plastic pool. As the title suggests, they’ve replaced the fish with eight goddamned snapping Kraang.
It’s a miniature version of a much larger set. (Thanks for the tip, Dan!) This version was being sold in Target’s stocking stuffer section, and since I’m weirdly obsessed with that “genre,” I prefer it to the bigger one. I could easily see it enveloped in red plush, neighboring with candy bars and Crayola crayons. Read More…