BFCDAW #13: Christmas on Ker-Zerzenic.
Between Christmas fast approaching and the world possibly ending, I’m not going to have many more chances to post bad holiday art. So, here goes:
On Ker-Zerzenic, Christmas is a little different. Santa is a befuddled, three-eyed snake creature. Snowflakes fall in white and pink. Then there are the little blue guys jumping all over the place, who we’d assume to be horrible devils if not for their halos.
But remember what Danny Aiello said. “If you’re frightened of dying, and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you.”
Ker-Zerzenic is an interesting place. Its snowmen remind me of that giant cactus from SMB2.
Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/19 – 12/20/12.
Today’s gift is a lunchbox filled with torture devices.
Dino Drac acts like he hates it, but I see through him. Hey, we were all kids once. I’ve pretended to hate great gifts plenty of times, for reasons many and varied. I’m not buying this facade. There is no way a vampire dinosaur wouldn’t want torture devices.
“I’ll level with you. The gifts are fine. I just want to open tomorrow’s, too.”
I knew it was a mistake to start with that. Now he thinks it’s an everyday thing. On the other hand, I’m getting pretty sick of burying the site’s good content with giant Advent Calendar photos, so I tell him to have at it. Read More…
Martini Matt.
I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers.
Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn black if I don’t cram in as much holiday idiocy as humanly possible.
Hey, I’m going to miss this. At no other time of year are stores filled with so much goofy and wonderful crap. I guess I just wanted one last memento to carry me through the more wretched parts of 2013.
April, especially. Even from back here, it looks terrible.
I found this “Martini Man” gift set at Target. I know it seems too similar to that Bloody Mary gift set to be worth reviewing, but I didn’t really buy this for website-related purposes.
I think what sold me most was the ultra-tiny martini glass. Read More…
The Panettone Cake Monster.
Dudes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of panettone, but in my family, no Christmas is complete without one on the table. Even if nobody touches it. Few ever do.
It’s basically bread masquerading as cake. It’s sweet, faintly fruity, very Italian, and eating it is like trying to chew through an oil-soaked sponge. I can’t tell you more than that, because this isn’t one of my go-to desserts. It’s just something that MUST BE ON THE TABLE come Christmas Eve.
For me, the attraction finds root in its shape and its size. It’s that perfect midpoint between a giant overcooked cupcake and a giant overcooked human head.
The obvious next step is to transform this into some kind of monster. Read More…