Deadly Dollar Store Finds: 2012 Edition.
I had five bucks, and Dollar Tree was right there.
It’s funny. I’ve been doing the Countdown forever, and in years past, Dollar Tree was always my final resort. A last ditch effort to catch the Halloween spirit by way of frivolous spending, after every other store in a twenty mile radius let me down.
Well, no more. I don’t know what lit a fire under their ass, or asses, or maybe collective ass, but for the past few Halloween seasons, Dollar Tree has been killing it. So much good stuff!
The things I found today were wonderful with no asterisks. Not just wonderful in an “it’s only a dollar” sort of way. I think the fruits of my five dollar shopping spree (six if you count the background tablecloth) will prove it. Read More…
Vlog: Blurp Balls Toy Review.
His name is Count Heave-a-Heart.
He’s one of the Blurp Balls.
His ocular veins look like the letter “Y” repeated thirteen times.
Very rare toys with a cult following that just won’t die, the Blurp Balls arrived in 1991, and were essentially uber versions of Madballs. Get the whole scoop in a video starring me:
I made several errors in this vlog:
#1: I said that Blurp Balls came out in ’92. NO. It’s 1991.
#2: I called one of the Blurp Balls “Retch-a-Rat Cat Tomcat.” Actually, it’s just Retch-a-Rat Tomcat.
#3: I called another one “Bossy Tossteeth.” In reality, he’s Boney Tossteeth.
But I did get some things right. For instance, I said they were balls, and they are. Read More…
Horror DVD Menu Screens!
Tonight, we pay tribute to horror DVD menu screens.
Somebody has to. They’re great. I own well over a hundred scary movie DVDs, and since I have the tendency to buy copies of films I’ve already seen ten thousand times, the real thrill, and frequently, the only thrill, is seeing how the production team summed everything up on those often cheesy, always awesome menus.
I plucked ten horror DVDs from my collection at random. Below are my thoughts on their menu screens.
Hellraiser III: Dig it. With the chunky text and crude blood, it looks like a game from the original Mortal Kombat era. I thought Pinhead had black eyes, but even if this was editorialized, those red eyes work. Really brings the whole color scheme together. Read More…
Marshmallow Pumpkin Patch Incident.
After this post, I promise not to make weird things out of Halloween food for at least a few days. I know I’ve been doing it too much. It’s not like such features are turning me into an Internet superstar, so I must assume that there’s some deeply buried psychological need at play.
The first step is admission. The second step is to write about something else. As of this moment, I’m only ready to take the first step. So, here’s a really gross thing I made from brownies, pumpkin marshmallows and green-dyed coconut shavings.
Say hi to Bowl. Bowl plays host to brownie mix, oil, water, an egg and a bunch of crushed Halloween Oreos. Looked at from just the right angle, Bowl is an organic Death Star. The very definition of a “happy accident.” Read More…