If you haven’t heard the big news, the crown jewel of Target’s 2019 Halloween collection is… Dinosaur Dracula?

Well, Target is calling it a “dragon,” but I know Dinosaur Dracula when I see him.

While it would’ve been nice for Target to ask me before painting Dino Drac orange and making him wear clown pants, I feel nothing but extreme joy over this. Best of all, the doll is only five bucks!

Get the whole scoop in today’s video, which I almost didn’t get to upload because computers are generally terrible:

WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE!

Thanks for watching, and good luck finding your own Dinosaur Dracula! If you don’t like me, just pretend he’s Cheesasaurus Rex.

PS: Not-Dino Drac is part of a trio of “Hyde and Eek Boutique” dolls, so if you like sloths or unicorns better than dinosaurs (“dragons”), they’re out there, too. The others aren’t dressed like vamps, sadly.

Set aside two and a half minutes and however long it takes to read 900 words, because it’s time for the 23rd edition of Classic Creepy Commercials!

If this batch doesn’t put you in the mood for spiked cider and dimmed lighting, nothing will. Except maybe pot.

Halloween III on Broadcast TV! (1987)

On an October evening in 1987, WNUV-TV 54 — which I believe broadcasted out of Baltimore — ran three movies from the Halloween franchise. This promo aired midway through the marathon, and introduced Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

I love how they presented the film so whimsically, with cartoony graphics and an almost-friendly voiceover artist. Of course, Halloween III wasn’t at all kid-safe, as the content warning that closed the promo illustrated.

Gotta assume that the film was edited for content, as there was no way a broadcast network was gonna put scenes like this on television. I’m guessing they just looped Tom Atkins’s reaction shot and left audiences to wonder why they were suddenly hearing snakes and crickets. Read More…

At the tail end of 1984, Hormel introduced the most Halloweeny of all hot dogs. Probably not the kickoff line you were expecting, but whatever, you’re here. Let’s talk about Frank ‘n Stuff!

I’ve mentioned Frank ‘n Stuff in prior articles, but I thought it deserved a proper, standalone tribute. After all, there’s a Facebook page with no less than 272 people demanding the return of these atrocious, delicious hot dogs.

If you’ve never heard of ‘em, Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs had hollow middles stuffed with chili. Literally encased within them, like mutagen in a TGRI can. Hormel later added a second version, this time stuffed with gooey cheese that exploded like god-tier zits when you bit into one.

It sounds gross through one lens, but having heard from many on this subject, I say with certainty that everyone who tried Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs LOVED Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs. They quietly inspired their own little fandom, like Elm Street 2 or Niles Crane. Read More…