Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/17 – 12/18/12.

“They can’t be serious. What is this, a translucent breadbox?”

Nah, I think it’s just some kind of holding tank. Either way, a pretty junky gift. In fact, it’s so junky that I refuse to respect it with a bold font. These Playmobil Advent Calendars really love their peaks and valleys.

“This gift sucks. I’m opening tomorrow’s. I don’t care what you say.”

Uh, I was going to suggest the same thing. It’s not like I know how to rock an entry about a tiny holding tank that holds nothing. I’d have to go way out of my depth on the existential humor.

Whoa, nice! Tomorrow’s loot is way better than today’s.

It’s a baby devil gator and a baby gray caiman!

“I like them, but I thought this Advent Calendar was supposed to have a dinosaur theme. Are you sure these aren’t baby dinosaurs?”

I tell him I’m not sure. Hell, how am I supposed to know? It’s not like Playmobil ever tells us what these things are supposed to be. The instruction manual is full of pictures and arrows, but not once does it name the gifts. This usually isn’t a problem – it’s easy to know a dinosaur skeleton when you see one – but when you’ve got a little gray monster that could be a lizard, a caiman or maybe even a baby dinosaur, yes, I wish someone with authority would just step in and stamp the fucker.

“This red one is the same color as the bags from Macy’s. So I’m going to name him Macy.”

Fine. But if you name the other one “Gray,” we are THROUGH.


16 Responses to Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/17 – 12/18/12.

  1. I like “Macy” for the red baby dinosaur. (And yes, I’m going to say they’re baby dinosaurs. Goes with the theme of the calender.) ;)

  2. Haha, what the hell is that box for? Maybe he can capture one of the playmobil explorers with it for food?

  3. Name the other one Poupon. as in Grey Poupon.

  4. Wow. A clear box. Seriously? I’d have opened the next gift a day early too.

    Ha. Macy. Gray.

  5. So we now have a terarrium and lots of lizards/baby dinos (and I’m pretty sure we got a big snake at some point). Is this a dino themed AC or a 6th grade science class themed AC? :P Come on, Playmobil, we want to see Dino Drac make friends (or do battle) with another Rex!

    And not that you need to hear it any more, but great work on the site and AC thus far, Matt. :)

  6. Your Macy’s logo/color knowledge is what stands out here to me. Impressed? Verdict is still out .

  7. Actually, upon further inspection that “terrarium” appears to be a mini glass fire casket (like the kind they used in Saw 2). If Billy pops up as one of these gifts I’m going to lose it. (not likely but wishful thinking?)

  8. Haha, wow, I didn’t pick up on Macy Gray until I read that from Annette! I need more sleep.

    I think the gray guy should be named Silver.

  9. Those damn German toymakers and their unwillingness to prescribe specific roles and names for their vague plastic creatures and figures.

    Just got back from a quick trip around your neck of the globe, Matt. A friend of mine had a birthday party at freaking Medieval Times (my first visit – what a goddamn hell of a wacky place THAT is). I loved it for all of its insane cheese and pomp and whatnot.

    We turned the visit into a weekend NYC thing, and I was blown away by the crazy amount of Santa-clad people all over town for the Santacon thing. I had heard about it ahead of time, but I thought the elfin-folk would be mostly contained around Grand Central. But they were EVERYWHERE. That would have been a lot more fun if nine out of ten of them weren’t drunk-off-their-ass frat boys in cheap red felt pants and beards spewing rainbow vomit all over the town. Oh well. Christmas!

  10. @Carpeteria: I LOVE Medieval Times and I REALLY, REALLY need to go there in 2013. But man, I totally did not know about this Santacon. That upsets me greatly. Hope you had fun!

  11. Fun indeed. I got way too into Medieval Times. Tons of over the top screaming like I was at Wrestlemania or something. We got the Black/White knight, but the dude totally jobbed out and took a fall. Major disappointment.

    If you set foot anywhere near Manhattan on Saturday, you couldn’t NOT know about the Santacon thing. But you shouldn’t be too upset. Seriously – just imagine a bunch of regular drunk frat assholes out at the dive bars around town, but then just dress them up as cheap Santas in your head. Bingo.

  12. I’m sad to admit that I’ve never actually been to the NJ MT, or really, any MT. The one I went to was a knockoff at the Excalibur hotel in Vegas — but I can’t imagine that it was at all different from the MT experience. I loved it to death. Everything about it. So stupid but so fun.

    And that explains why I didn’t know about Santacon. I only come to the city when work makes me. :)

  13. They could be baby Sarcosuchus.

  14. Throw them in the tank!

  15. think the ice box thing is to store macy and pals or if drac wants to put gracies the explore he got before this box in it or any other playmobile person that may pop out of the calendar as future lunch for drac and macy and pals

  16. I was all for “Macy” and “Gray,” but derdavenwarrior has sold me on “Poupon.” PLEASE name the gray one “Poupon.”

    Also, I went to Medieval Times two or three years ago for my birthday. It was fun, but I think it’s comparable to a place like Hooters…the food’s not great, and that’s okay, because you don’t really go for the food, you go for the show.

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