Christmas Crunch is back!

Before I gush about cereal, a quick note.

I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in December, and we still might, but it may turn out to be December 2018.

So, this will likely be a “lite” Christmas season on Dino Drac. We’ll see how it goes. If push comes to shove, I can just start wearing old Ben Cooper costumes to work until someone fires me.

PS: Yes, I heard about Hostess. We’ll talk about that another day. I already promised this one to Cap’n Crunch.

Christmas Crunch is back! It’s amazing that Quaker still hasn’t succumbed to social pressure and renamed it “Holiday Crunch,” and I’m certain that the only thing keeping them from it is the incredible alliteration in the original title. “Christmas Crunch.” Two c-words that can be spoken aloud as dramatic k-words. If you have a brain, you don’t mess with that.

This year’s box design isn’t a knockout, but it ain’t half bad, either.

Some people believe that “Christmas red” is an umbrella title for several different shades of red, BUT NO, “Christmas red” really refers to one specific type of red. And this box is THAT RED. A sweet spot between brick, vermillion and cranberry. Kudos, mon capitan. You did chicken right.

Love Cap’n Crunch’s casual “yup yup me again” pose at the top of the box, too.

Regrettably, I’m not as fond of the artist’s decision to draw the innards of Cap’n Crunch’s mouth. In this case, I’d prefer that Cap’n Crunch adhere to the standard cartoon rule of having nothing in there but a big black hole.

Ending on a positive, there’s also a gift box filled with nothing but cereal, addressed to someone named “Holiday Shapes.” Truly the start-point for a great novel. Don’t any of you NaNoWriMo fuckers take my idea.

Cap’n Crunch alleges that his Crunchberries come in “four shapes.” True, there may be four shapes, but you can only decipher two of them. The trees and the stars look as they should, but to call the other shapes “snowmen” and “winter hats” goes straight past “a stretch” and into “untruth punishable by law” territory.

But I forgive Cap’n Crunch, because I never got so many Crunchberries in a single box of cereal before. Good God, if judging by sheer mass, the Crunch-to-Crunchberries ratio is pretty close to 1:1. A Christmas miracle, right in my severely chipped cereal bowl.

The back of the box lists several Christmas Crunch crafts projects. (A burgeoning market of intrigue.) The best of them tells us to make a not-really-gingerbread house out of cereal and graham crackers.

My time is short, but only a fool wouldn’t make that Priority 1.

Granted, mine is less of a “house” and more of a “bunker.”  Look a bit like Fred Flintstone’s pad, assuming it rains cupcake frosting and giant cereal in Bedrock.

I decided that this would be Krang’s secret holiday hideaway. Strong emphasis on the “secret,” because Krang definitely wouldn’t want his troops to learn that he’s gaga for Christmas. “Ruling by fear” is much harder when everyone knows that you listen to Wham.

Psst, I found my Christmas Crunch in Walmart. No pressure, but if you consider yourself a “holiday guy” or a “holiday girl,” you kind of have to buy this cereal. To skip it is a sacrilege. Drop the three bucks, people. It’s Christmas.

(Well, no. It’s barely Thanksgiving. But still.)

75 Responses to Christmas Crunch is back!

  1. I like how you say you’re “on a gig”. It makes you sound like a hotshot jetsetting celebrity, and therefore interacting with you validates me, as if I am also important and impressive by proxy.

    Relevant: I once told my grandfather I liked Cap’n Crunch, so he bought 12908325 boxes of it and I had to eat it for 17 years, and now I can’t eat Cap’n Crunch anymore.

  2. You didn’t string them together to make a crunchy thong? WHAT?!

  3. Every once in a while, my desire for Cap’n Crunch overwhelms my desire to avoid serious mouth trauma. This may be one of those times.

  4. Aw, Rev. Grandparents are the best. Mine get so much pleasure in life out of plying the grandkids and great grandkids with snacks out the wazoo.

    For me it was elio’s pizza.

  5. I think I’ve mentioned this like a million times before on X-E, but I remember the time I was being watched by my grandma two days before Xmas, and there was a box of Christmas Crunch along with an attached box that had a present from Cap’n Crunch with stickers, gumballs, and shit like that. When you’re 9 years old, shit like this is better than sex.

  6. Does anybody else remember those attached giftboxes from Cap’n Crunch?

  7. Yes.

  8. I still haven’t eaten all my Boo Berry, but it’s probably stale by now anyway, so fuck it–Christmas Crunch ahoy!

  9. LOL… I too had to dump my three STALE boxes of Monster Cereal bought in September, for some reason all three didn’t “do” it for me this time around. Oh well, time for a cruise to the Island of Mart via the Great Wal!! Need some C’C!!

  10. I think Quakers’ initial intention was to make barb wire, but on the day that pamela anderson was supposed to show up, a big truckload of corn and oats arrived. And Quaker is a laid-back company — they said, ‘F**k it. bake em up.’

  11. Those definitely do not look like “winter hats”…

    Eating Cap’n Crunch feels like chewing shards of a busted-out car window to me, so I’ll pass.

  12. Ditto. As much as I love the festive box (Christmas red happens to be one of my favorite colors), I’m not as big of a fan of what Cap’n Crunch does to the roof of my mouth. I’ll just ogle this one at the grocery store.

  13. YES! I agree, the box isn’t the best thing ever but it’s still pretty nice, I’ll buy one. The present box with the cereal busting out of it reminds me of the time my Father in law received a birthday present that was a piping hot mashed potato casserole…lol. It was one of his favs so his sister in law made it and wrapped it up. I hope I receive a food-present this year :)

  14. I had one of those holographic snowflake ornaments I found in a box of Christmas Crunch for the longest time. It actually made it on to my mom’s tree a few times before it eventually fell apart.

    As much as I hate what the Capt. does to my mouth, I can’t help but go back to him.

  15. Yes! Oh, I hope it’s easier to find this year. I’ve had to do without for the past couple of seasons. Not that doing without Christmas Crunch ruined my Christmases (working at the mall did that), but it does make the morning a little jollier.

  16. Cap’n Crunch is infinitely more palatable if you’re a freak who enjoys soggy cereal, such as myself.

  17. Thank you, Lauren. For that, I shall look at your website.

  18. Excellent work on the house construction. I’m with you on the general lack of a need for anatomical detail for cartoon character’s open mouths.

    By the way, I’ve still got the 1988 Christmas Crunch ornament. Goes on the tree every year.

  19. For everyone concerned about the brutal crunch of Cap’n Crunch; once you eat a few bowls, you develop sturdy mouth callouses. After that, you can eat beer cans, nails, gravel and even Oops! All Berries.

  20. Cap’n Crunch was one of my favorites back when I was a young, innocent lad. Me and my brother and sister would have wars over who got the last bowl. Let me tell you when you’re eating that bowl of crumbly, powdery Crunch that came from the bottom of the box as your siblings watch is the greatest pleasure known to mankind.

    I envy all the great things you get to show the little gal over the next decade. It’s like having a childhood all over again. My are halfway grown and I wish I could fly around the earth and reverse time like Superman.

  21. I did Nanowrimo once. Took me three months, but I finished that goddamned thing. So Christmas right now.

  22. I rather like the CC box design this year: Simple. Tasteful. Elegant. How’s that for a cereal pitch?

    I’m seeing commercials for one of those homemade soda machines. If you can use them to bring back flat soda, I might put it on my Xmas list.

    Thorzul- I found a high-res scan someone made of the ornament and printed it. I pasted it on cardboard and used it as a present for X-E Secret Santa last year. If you print it in black and white, you can color it by hand and make it a DIY project.

  23. Nanowrimo?

  24. This was actually in my base’s commissary in early October. I’ve been holding out because I draw the line at Christmas eating half of Halloween’s lunch after already gobbling up Thanksgiving.

  25. Damn, I’m hungry for some CC, but all I have is Fruity Pebbles! Close, but no cigar. We bought the CC last year during the clearance of ANYTHING Christmas, I think we finally tossed it a couple weeks ago, so now we have to get another one to debate eating/opening before it expires!

  26. P.S. I don’t think I’ve seen Krang ever happy, until he received his CC house-he must have a soft spot for Christmas!

  27. Matt, so glad your gig is working out for ya! More money for you, means more crap for you to buy and review….which in turn give the readers happiness!

    I would settle for the abbreviated advent calendar this year too…as long as there is a post about the Christmas Fair, and whatever gift you win….

  28. The technical term is crunch mouth.

    That looks like a fort. I would never think that Krang wanted to be in a fort. And there he is. You do the most interesting things to my brain Matt.

  29. I already had a box of Christmas Crunch so I’m well aware of its whereabouts. The box is pretty much the same as last year’s, much like it was for Halloween Crunch. I didn’t notice if the back was the same but it had the same red color and the same smiling Ca’pn expression in the Santa suit at the top. I consumed four boxes of Halloween Crunch this year, let’s see if I can break that record with Christmas Crunch. Oh yeah, easily!!!!

  30. Hey BJ – meant to say it in the last thread, but, welcome back! I remember you from the ollllld days. :)

  31. I don’t know if you folks are “Firefly” fans, but a certain Summer Glau will be appearing in an upcoming Hallmark Channel X-mas movie:

    Ironically, this could be the most watched program she ever appears in.

  32. I was at the goodwill the other day and saw a December 1989 issue of some mag (Good House Keeping maybe). It was thirty-nine cents, so of course I bought it. Saw an ad in there for Christmas Crunch and immediately wondered if you were going to review it this year. And you did, with a fantastic box description to boot. ‘Tis the season!

  33. i already destroyed an entire box of it. It definitely made my breakfast more breakfastier. I don’t think that’s a word, but it is now.

  34. kb,

    My sister used to be a cashier/assistant manager at a Goodwill. One day about two years ago, she came acroos a box of old copies of the last issue of the old Los Angeles Herald-Examiner, which hasn’t been published in over twenty years. These copies were complete, including their old Toys-R-Us inserts. I’ve always meant to send one of the inserts to Matt so he could review it.

  35. Aww yeah!!!! Now to find it….
    Happy SNT everyone!

  36. Dear Matt,

    Of all the people to make a request to someone who just said they don’t have enough time becuase of a valid reason I’m the worst person to ask. I’ve never contributed anything to your sites other then a few dollars, wildly inaccurate box 23 theories, long posts complaining about xmas before thanksgiving and a MS paint picture of Leon from Rosanne without pants. Yet Christmas is the time to be a spoiled entitled brat who demands things so here it goes-

    PLEASE PLAESE PLEASE PLEASE at least one avent calander update!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!

    Seriously its sad but true that it now one of my all time favorite parts of the season, taking a mornign to half ass my normal job while listening to the juke box, reading old kuse adventures while laughing my ass off and hitting refresh a hundred times to get one new part of the sotry is part of my Christmas tradition.

    Sincerley (even though I alway spell that wrong the only other thing I know to use is Love,)

    Your Worst Fan

  37. The Wii U is officially OUT! I can’t wait for the reviews!

  38. For some strange reason we don’t get Christmas Crunch here in Iowa. The last time I remember seeing a box was probably 1997 or 1998 … beyond that, nothing.

    I’d love to own some again, but purchasing breakfast cereal online seems a little strange.

  39. “The Wii U is officially OUT! I can’t wait for the reviews!”

    It sucks!

    I hope that holds you over until someone comes and reviews it who actually knows what they’re talking about, which is definitely not me.

    In other news, Christmas Crunch is supposed to come in a Green box. Christmas Green to be exact. That’s the only reason I ever bought it, it certainly wasn’t so I could eat Captain Crunch, that stuff is gross. If I wanted to look at a red box, I’d buy one of those Red Devil Grills they used to have infomercials for.

  40. Thanks Matt! Always great to be welcomed back, especially when it’s the site host who welcomes you back!

  41. Congrats on the new gig!

  42. Christmas Crunch looks great but I have to pass on it since I don’t have the metabolism I had in my younger years. :)

    Good luck on the new gig. I was hoping to see an artichoke recipe post before Thanksgiving. I don’t know why but I like that old post from 2010 X-E. Matt if you and the Misses are making them anyway for TG this year maybe you could do a quick post on them? Ok enough of my silly request here is the link to that old post I was referring to.

  43. Matt – When are you launching the Xmas Jukebox?

  44. @Shawn It’s still on XE!

  45. This post made my morning. Buying a box ASAP!

  46. The more reasons to make a walmart trip the better!

  47. 3 bucks for Capn’s Crissmuss Crunch? Count me in!
    Also, beyond pleased to say I found a box of almost expired Quisp at a local close out store. I plan on being buried with it.

  48. @Lucky, they still sell Quisp at my local Fresh Market store!

  49. You know, I’ve never been a fan of Wal-Mart, but now I’m hating my local one even more. Not only do they not carry Cherry Cordial M&M’s, but they don’t have any Christmas Crunch either. Ridiculous.

  50. @KB Thanks, I know it’s there. I think Matt would probably want us to go through the new site so he can keep track of web traffic. From what I can tell he’s really trying to turn DD into something bigger then XE.

  51. After a second look, Krang looks super-comfy in his graham-bunker.

    Man…wish my house was made of grahams *kicks rock*

  52. Congrats on the new gig, Matt!

    When I saw this pic of the Cap’n, my first thought was Captain Spaulding. Anybody else seeing that?

    “…there was a box of Christmas Crunch along with an attached box that had a present from Cap’n Crunch with stickers, gumballs, and shit like that. When you’re 9 years old, shit like this is better than sex.”Nate

    Well I would certainly hope that is the case. One would hope that at the age of 9, that a person doesn’t know what’s it’s like to actually make that comparison!

  53. I grew up in America and ate cereal every day of my childhood but strangely enough I have NEVER, ever eaten Cap’n Crunch (any kind).

    I think my parents had some kind of tremendous fight over it and as a result never bought it for us and somehow during one of my 9,000 sleepovers at a friend’s house never tried it there either. Still love the Neal Stephenson passage about it from “Cryptonomicon” though :)

  54. Stunt Zombie I love Walmart but mind you ours is a Super Walmart with a full grocery store inside, Subway, Haircutting place, eye checking place, and several other stores. They truly made it so you don’t need to shop anyplace else. And I have a few people that work there that know me by name and they ask me and Harry how our lives are doing.

    We still haven’t gone Thanksgiving shopping yet. I am on a budget, so I have to be careful how much I spend. I am kind of freaked out about it. But also I can’t go too late because they might not have the ingredients I need. Ugh I have enough stress lol. And besides Harry is sick right now he can’t keep anything down. He is prone to infections. So I just might say fuck it and buy a turkey tv dinner and a pumpkin pie and call it good. He is going to the doctor soon but the antibiotics she puts him on usually he cannot eat dairy for a week. So even if he gets better then that is one crappy Thanksgiving.

  55. DJ D: good call with Captain Spaulding. I see it. :)

  56. JohnV: The first image that came to mind was actually this one, but I threw the Santa one in there because it fit more with the theme, I guess.

  57. @Goob,

    Sorry to hear about Harry, I certainly hope he’s able to kick whatever it is he has. I was on antibiotics from August to the beginning of this month, so I definitely understand having the screwed up stomach. I’m still trying to get it back to normal. Our Wal-Mart definitely isn’t of the “Super” variety, and even the folks I know there barely speak to me. Looks like it just depends on where you live..

    @DJ D,

    I cannot unsee what I have seen. Now the whole mouth shredding bit makes sense.

  58. When you guys mentioned Captain Spaulding, I assumed you were talking about Groucho Marx in a safari hat.

  59. Question time!

    Alright guys and gals…what is your favorite (and least favorite Christmas movie)?

    Fav: It’s a Wonderful Life – I love this movie! It’s just really uplifting to me. When George realizes he has his life back and runs through the streets shouting MERRY CHRISTMAS it gets me a little misty-eyed. You just can’t beat it.

    Least Fav: Santa with Muscles – I do love Hulk Hogan but nope.

    What about you all?

  60. Stunt Zombie He has been on antibiotics twice this year. And in the hospital 3 times since December of last year. One of my friends earlier said it doesn’t seem like he has much life left in him. That really made me worried and sad. That is why I need to work hard becoming more independent. So just in case he does die I will at least be financially ok. Harry said there is a certain kind of insurance that if the main breadwinner dies they pay the rest of the house off. We might have to do that just in case. I would not be able to pay off a house on my own.

    Our plans this next year, for me to get a car. And for me to build up enough that I have full time income coming in. Then hopefully after the next holiday season I can earn enough for a down payment on a house. Then after we get a house, me and a friend of mine will try to conceive. He will not be the father, he will be the sperm donor. Harry is sterile so it needs to be someone else. Anyway the thought of having a baby is what is giving me the motivation to work my ass off this holiday season and this next year. I think this next year will be the hardest but most productive year of my adult life. Also I am going to exercise and lose weight. I want to get my shit together as much as possible this next year. I want to prove to myself I can do this. My family have always judged me saying I am lazy and don’t do anything. I used to be like that but not anymore. When I turned 30 mentally I matured and got it together.

  61. Favorite Christmas drama: Fanny & Alexander. Holy shit—what a beautiful film. Nearly five and a half hours long, but the miniseries version is definitely better than the theatrical cut. Highly moving, but in a more thoughtful sort of way; a perfect antidote to typical schlocky seasonal fare.

    Favorite Christmas comedy: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, with A Christmas Story a close runner up. Both are an annual tradition, and neither will ever get old.

    Least favorite Christmas movie: I honestly can’t think of a specifically horrendous one, as I tend to avoid stuff that looks like it will suck. No doubt it would be one of the myriad woefully sappy made-for-TV Hallmark productions, so I guess I’ll go with The Christmas Card, since it’s the only one of that sort that I can remeber watching in its entirety, as it was filmed in my town. I couldn’t stop laughing while watching it, as they tried to sanatize us into some sort of west-coast forest version of a “feel-good mid-western values” (for lack of a better phrase) town, rather than the weirdo miniature version of Berkeley filled with rednecks and hippies that we actually are.

  62. Jugendsehnsucht- Funny you should mention that; there’s a Hallmark movie coming next month with Summer Glau. That woman has been in so many things that nobody saw, maybe she figured this was her chance to be seen on TV by more than a handful of people.

    I met a guy on a film shoot in Santa Clarita who told me how they filmed an episode of 24 in his neighborhood. There was a scene with a nuclear bomb being diffused, and another scene where the thing detonates in the distance, but the guy said the two locations were about two blocks apart.

    My favorite Xmas special is probably Garfield. has a great database of reviews and retrospectives of vintage Xmas cartoon specials.

  63. Favorite Christmas movie? I really like White Christmas. Though it’s not THAT Christmasy…most of the numbers have nothing to do with Christmas at all.

    I also really like Home Alone. It’s really a much better movie than its reputation would suggest. Plus, nostalgia value.

    Would I get shot if I said I didn’t like It’s a Wonderful Life?

  64. Good grief, Jugs! 5 and a 1/2 hours long?? I think I remember you mentioning this movie at some point in the past…maybe I’ll have to check that out as soon as I figure out how to get 5 1/2 hours free.

    @Hoverboard, thanks for the link, I’ll have to check it out! Love the Garfield special myself.

    @Annette, my wife’s fav Christmas movie is White Christmas. Love the “Count blessings instead of sheep” number. We have started watching that movie while we put up the tree the past couple of years.

    I don’t think anyone would shoot you for not enjoying It’s a Wonderful Life…haha. I got into it later in life.

    Has anyone saw “The Snowman”? It’s an animated short film (approx. 26 min.) and I believe it was made in 1982. It’s not what I would call traditional Christmas fare but it’s very moving and I highly recommend it.

  65. Church: I remember “The Snowman”. It used to run on HBO back then. I’m off to YouTube to look for it now.

  66. Ooh, now we’re talking about favorite Christmas specials/movies. This is something I can definetly put my two cents worth in (or in my case, a good five dollars). Gotta remind you, expect me to post one of my long ramblings.

    Favorite Christmas movie: I can’t help but consider “Gremlins” to be a Christmas movie. I mean, it takes place during Christmas, there’s a lot of Christmas references including a couple songs (this is where I first heard and got addicted to Johnny Mathis’ version of “Do You Hear What I Hear?), so why couldn’t you consider it a Christmas film? It’s definetly more Christmas related than Halloween related (unlike “A Nightmare Before Christmas” which can go either way, and can you believe I still haven’t seen that film).

    Of course I also like all the usual that many people mention like “A Christmas Story” and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (I just saw this film last year). Of course, everyone HAS to love “Scrooged.” Bill Murray at his finest here!

    Oh, on a side note, and speaking of “Christmas Story” can you believe they actually came out with a “Christmas Story 2″? I found it at Wal-Mart last week. It’s supposed to take place a few years after the original movie where Ralphie and his pals are learning how to drive and it looks like it has many of the same jokes as in the first one, such as the Leg lamp and everything. God, this is even worse than if they decided to re-make “A Christmas Story.”

    Okay, I’m already rambling so on to the next point:

    Least Favorite Christmas Movie: I can’t really think of one because to be honest, if I know they’re bad, I avoid them all together such as stinkers like “Jingle All The Way” (thank you very much Nostalgia Critic for your review, now I can go to my grave knowing I don’t have to submit two hours of my life to that garbage). I wouldn’t consider “Home Alone” a holiday classic. It’s not a bad film because it does have some tender moments, like the scene with Kevin and the old man in the church while the choir is singing “O Holy Night.” However, most of the film, especially the last act, is all just slapstick comedy with many jokes that get repeated in “Home Alone 2″ (a weaker sequel, but not as bad as “Home Alone 3″).

    Anyway, if I had to choose a bad Christmas movie that I have seen, the only one that comes to my mind is the live-action “Grinch” movie. Sorry if some of you like this, but this is the only one I can think of that I would consider bad and that I have actually seen (unless I can count 1985′s “Santa Claus: The Movie” but I haven’t seen that one in so long and when I actually did see it, it was at a time when I could consider it good).

    Okay, I am going to do you all a favor and put my next part in another post. So I’m apologizing in advance for the double post.

  67. Okay, here we go. Next part: Favorite Christmas Specials. Oh boy, this one in itself a list.

    Favorite Christmas Specials: Oh boy, I can’t begin to list the many great specials that came out during the Christmas season. Maybe that’s why Christmas is such a great holiday: because of all the specials that came out that gives us all the wonderful memories of our childhood. So, here are the main ones that I immediately think about when it comes to Christmas Television Specials:

    “A Charlie Brown Christmas/Garfield Christmas”: I always include these two together because I feel they are a perfect match. Definetly the highlight of the season (although to be honest, my favorite Peanuts special is “Great Pumpkin” and I consider “Garfield’s Thanksgiving” to be my favorite Garfield Holiday special (I know I’m probably in a minority on that one)) when I watch these two classics.

    “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, “Frosty the Snowman” “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “The Little Drummer Boy”: All great classics, all deserving a viewing every holiday season and all don’t need to be explained any further.

    “Mickey’s Christmas Carol”: Probably the first time I ever heard of Charles Dickens’ classic is with this special. Just hearing the opening theme is enough to get me in the holiday mood, even if it’s August.

    “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”: Also their pilot episode. This is what started twenty four years (and counting) of the longest running animated sitcom that seems to have no end.

    “Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas”: This special came out during the hype of the California Raisins, and although they are only in a brief segment singing “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, the whole special in itself is one filled with great joked and wonderful musical numbers (the “We Three Kings” segment is my personal favorite).

    “Muppet Family Christmas”: I can’t help it, I LOVE this special! How often do you see the cast of the Muppet Show, Sesame Street, and even Fraggle Rock in one special? The highlight is of course when they’re all caroling at the end. Thankfully there have been uploads on YouTube showing the complete special. If you try to buy a VHS or DVD copy, many songs are cut out due to not getting the licenses for them.

    That’s all I can think of when it comes to Christmas television specials. I won’t list any bad ones because I can’t think of any. Oh, and I have one more post before I’m finished. Didn’t want to post it here because it would become awfully long (longer than what it already is).

  68. Here’s my final post, I promise. I want to know if anyone can think of a favorite Christmas cartoon short. Is there a favorite Looney Tune, Disney, Popeye or whatever cartoon that you can’t get go without seeing at least once during the holiday season? “Pluto’s Christmas Tree” comes to my mind almost immediately, especially since I mostly remember seeing it before “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” on TV.

    Actually, my favorite Christmas cartoon short came out in the UK in the 1950s. It’s called “The Christmas Visitor” and I saw it on a low-cost public domain videotape that also had a Looney Tunes short starring Sylvester and Tweety. Anyway, the cartoon is a loose re-telling of “The Night Before Christmas.” Santa is a short skinny guy who uses an umbrella to go up and down the chimney. Granted, the middle is all about these toys coming to life and a toy sailor is trying to rescue a toy damsel that was tied on toy train tracks from a villian jack-in-the-box (yep, the usual Snidely Whiplash stereotyped mustached villain). What makes this special so memorable is the faded colors, the animation, and of course the music. The opening music during the title card sequence gets me every time.

    Anyway, it’s uploaded on YouTube and I linked it to my name. So click it and enjoy!

  69. “Good grief, Jugs! 5 and a 1/2 hours long?? I think I remember you mentioning this movie at some point in the past…maybe I’ll have to check that out as soon as I figure out how to get 5 1/2 hours free.” —Church
    Yeah, I think I mentioned it in a while back in whatever thread on here turned into confessionals about what movies bring on the waterworks. The 320 runtime is manageable due to Bergman splitting it up into episodes for Swedish television, so you don’t have to watch it all in one go, but all the times I’ve seen it I’ve watched it all at once. There was a heavily-cut theatrical release of it, but you end up missing some of the very best scenes that way, and it doesn’t feel anywhere near as nuanced, so I can definitely see why Bergman preferred his miniseries version of it.

    Mention of Gremlins (another sentimental favorite here) reminded me a bit of the oft-shitty microgenre of Holiday Horror. Amid all the ridiculous ones like Jack Frost and the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, the original 1974 Black Christmas always stands out as a good one. Just the sort of thing for when you’re still missing Halloween a bit, but don’t want to stray too far from the X-mas vibes.

  70. I don’t know if anyone is still reading this thread, but I’ve got something to ask: why do people say “Cap’n Crunch cuts the roof of your mouth?” I haven’t eaten it in years, but I never had that problem in the past.

    Jugendsehnsucht: oh yeah, Black Christmas is probably the best holiday horror movie I’ve seen—it’s tied with Gremlins, if we’re counting it. Last year I saw You Better Watch Out and Silent Night Bloody Night, and I’d have to say Black Christmas is better than those.

  71. {Watching the Macy’s parade}
    Happy Thanksgiving all!

  72. Wow. Obscure Ben Cooper reference FTW!

  73. I still haven’t managed to find Christmas Crunch. I’m gonna find some this year, if it hairlips every single billy goat in 14 miles.

  74. This just made my week! Thank you, I was at my local grocery store and couldn’t find it. Now I’m heading down to Walmart!

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