A few hours ago, I heard a too-gentle knock on the front door. It was the FedEx guy, looking to make a delivery without any pesky conversation. That’s my kind of FedEx guy.

Yes. It has arrived. ECTO COOLER.

Last week, someone from Coca-Cola’s PR firm blessed me with the email to end all emails. I was on THE LIST. A number of Ecto Cooler press packages were being sent out, to encourage everyone from big celebrities (not me) to low-level bloggers (definitely me) to help spread the word.

So here I am, helping to spread the word:

ECTO. COOLER. IS. BACK.

Actually, as of this writing, it’s still on its way back. It’s supposed to hit stores on May 30th, but given the unlikelihood that every store will play by Coca-Cola’s rules, I wouldn’t be surprised if a couple of them have it out already. Either way, don’t worry: You won’t have to wait long.

This ghost trap-themed promo box — which even came with a barrel of slime — is all kinds of awesome. I’ve already called some contractors to get quotes on the airtight, temperature-controlled vault that is so clearly necessary to house a box of this magnitude. I wish I could tell you that the same box will be available in stores, but no, it was apparently made as an exclusive for people who wear Tuesday’s clothes on Thursday afternoon.

If it’s any consolation, you’ll be drinking motherfuckin’ ECTO COOLER in about a week. Get hype, stay hype, make ice. Read More…

We arrived at the Englishtown flea market late on Saturday afternoon, so there was no time to waste. Over half of the sellers had already packed up, and of those who remained, many were clearly ready to throw in the towel.

I found jussst enough to consider the trip a success, and got reacquainted with the one positive thing about being late to a flea market: Those sellers will do anything to make a last minute sale. “Did I say five dollars? I MEANT I’LL PAY YOU. Not really but TURN AROUND, WE CAN WORK THIS OUT, MY NAME’S HANK WHAT’S YOURS?”

This week’s scores:

Vintage Hot Wheels Cars! ($5)

I try to steer clear of loose Hot Wheels, because they’re often dud investments, and the sellers usually want waaaay more than is reasonable. Luckily, one seller kept his prices in check, and he had some of my most beloved Hot Wheels cars of all time.

As a kid, whenever a Hot Wheels car didn’t actually look like a car, I was interested. I preferred the ones that doubled as robots, monsters or menacing animals. This lot includes several of my favorites, from that Autobot-esque motherfucker to the gnarly white rat-car, which once served as my rolling pet back before Mom & Dad let me have hamsters. Read More…

It’s Friday the 13th. Please clap.

To celebrate Jason’s big day, I’d like to introduce you to a… strange phenomenon. Some of you may have already noticed this, but most surely haven’t.

I’ll cut to the chase:

There are tons of YouTube videos starring people in Jason Voorhees costumes, DANCING.

The easy explanation is that there is no explanation, but there kinda is.

There’s a certain feeling of loony freedom that comes with wearing those masks. Your immediate impulse isn’t to act like Jason, exactly, but rather some mutant hybrid of a clown, a horse and a pop star’s backup dancer. The switch is immediate, and though not everyone succumbs to the urge, everybody wants to.

So, here are ten times when people dressed like Jason Voorhees danced on YouTube. May they make your Friday the 13th a little bit brighter:

“Jason Voorhees Dancing the Night Away”

You’ll feel pretty uncomfortable throughout this video’s 127 second duration, but you won’t be able to look away, either. Here, someone mixes a Jason mask with some kind of Abobo bodysuit, and provides what’s gotta be the first-ever male striptease set to an Alice Cooper song.

This is a Jason who’s unafraid to smack his own ass. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a warning or a promo. Read More…