Dinosaur Dracula!

Obscure Horror Toys found on eBay!

While searching eBay for goodies to cover during this year’s Countdown, I discovered several items that were perfect in every way… except price. I’ll take a dive on certain items, but I gotta stop short of paying 400 bucks for rubber sharks.

Still, some of those items were just too cool not to feature here, so if you’ll pardon me for borrowing photos from faraway eBay sellers, I think you NEED to see these seven Halloween and horror toys from decades past. If you’re a fan of monsters who just happens to be flush, go make some bids. I’ll be jealous as fuck.

Titles below link to the auction listings, and if you’re seriously interested in any of this stuff, I assume that most sellers would be willing to haggle. The rest of us will satisfy ourselves by ogling from afar!


Halloween Monster!
Asking Price: $184.95

The Soma Toys company — no strangers to making bizarre figures with a quirky, generic appeal — really hit it out of the park with this guy. Originally (and more famously) known as 1986’s Monster Man, a quick upgrade to the packaging turned him into the official Halloween Monster!

He’s part of a larger series of similar figures, all equally weird, which seem to have been crafted as the low-rent, lower-price answer to Hasbro’s Inhumanoids.

It’s easily in the top ten figures that I simply MUST OWN before death, and while loose versions can be found for a hundred dollars cheaper, that tacky Halloween packaging is so worth paying double. Read More…

TV Guide listings for Halloween, 1990!

Remember when watching shows and movies mostly amounted to taking what we were given? We’ve come a long way from needing a TV Guide!


…and yet, I strangely find myself missing that era, back before we had instant access to anything we wanted to see… not to mention an internet that’s gone out of its way to archive every conceivable thing that was ever broadcasted. Television just seemed more like an adventure back then — or maybe a slot machine.

The point? I came to be in possession of an old TV Guide issue, covering the last few days of October, 1990. They didn’t outright call it a Halloween edition, but considering the cover story about 1990’s sudden surge in horror-themed shows, I don’t think it’s a stretch for me to. Read More…

Candy Corn Cupcakes? Pumpkin Spice Twinkies?!

As you’ve probably surmised from prior articles, this is an amazing year for Halloween junk food. It’s everywhere! And so much of it is really, really good!


…even the bigwig mainstays aren’t resting on their laurels, as evidenced by Hostess’s new TRIO of Halloween treats. (Oh, and if you remember last year’s Scary Cakes and Glo Balls — yep, those are back, too!)

Hostess normally spends the Halloween season providing their snacks with nifty “costumes.” This year, they’ve shifted the focus to exploring all-new flavors. If I had to describe the new collection in one word, it’d be “gourmand,” but spoken with a fake French accent and needlessly drawn-out.

All are limited edition, and there’s no telling if any will be back in 2016. The fact that I may become part of a relatively small pool of people who can accurately lay claim to having firsthand experience with Pumpkin Spice Twinkies? I can’t lie: It makes me proud. Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 9!

It’s time for the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials!

(If you read that in the voice of a game show announcer and hum happy music afterward, it becomes a stronger open.)

Collected below are another five spooky TV commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s, covering everything from toys to movies to a TV show I’ve never watched. Some of these are from my collection; the rest, as usual, were donated by Larry P.

Enjoy the show! (Or the commercial break. Whatever.)

Slime Time Watches Commercial! (1986)

One of the less remembered “gross-focused ‘80s toy lines,” Slime Time was a series of digital watches released by Hasbro, each nestled somewhere under (or in) a “creepy” rubber animal. (Frogs and snakes were included, as was the line’s high point: An adorable black bat.)

Wearing the whole mess on your wrist, the toys were part functional, part decorative, and part flabbergastingly insane. I loved them, but I imagine that I was in the minority of kids who might look at a garter snake and think, “Someday, I hope I get one of you, but as a timepiece.”

My inner conspiracy theorist says that Hasbro was going to lose the rights to the killer “Slime Time” name if they didn’t do something with it, and after an all-hands-on-deck last minute brainstorm, we got a frog with a clock down its gullet. Thank God! Read More…

Halloween Kid Cuisine: 2015 Edition!

Warning: Today’s post is about Kid Cuisine, so stop here if you don’t want to read about Kid Cuisine. Funsucker.


I was elated to see the return of Halloween Kid Cuisine meals, even if they never actually use the “H” word. The secularization of Halloween? No, not really. This year, they’re positioning them as strict promotions for Hotel Transylvania 2, which hits theaters sometime between tomorrow and whenever my bat-shaped chicken nuggets expire.

Still, I don’t think it’s a stretch to call these Halloween editions, especially since they borrow traits from previous KC Halloween meals. From what I can tell, every variety of Kid Cuisine is currently redressed for Hotel Transylvania 2, but these were the only two that went all-in on the creep. Read More…

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 6!

Such a nice night! It’s finally cooling off, the leaves are starting to turn, and there’s just enough creepy wind to make September feel like October.

I think you should waste it by sitting inside and listening to me and Jay ramble on for an hour.


The sixth episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is now live!

Last week, Jay from The Sexy Armpit sent feelers out for reader questions. Tonight, we’re tackling ten spooky questions sent in by various listeners, covering everything from lame Halloween candy to our favorite scary video games. Give us a listen on the player below, or click here to access the MP3 directly!

Hey, we’re on iTunes and Stitcher, too!

Many thanks for the millionth time for making the show a success. So long as you keep listening, I’ll keep spending every damn Saturday trying to cut out all of our “uhhhs.”

And hey, wanna play along? Check out the graphic below, and in the comments, let everyone know how you’d answer the same questions raised in this week’s show. Read More…

2015’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!

I’ll say it again: This is a banner year for spooky junk food. Never before have I seen so much of it, and for those who sustain their spirits through creepy-looking chocolate, 2015 is freakin’ amazing.

Below are five scary things that you can eat and drink this year, mixing new commodities with some older favorites. If these don’t put you in a Halloween mood, you have better muscle tone than me.


Pumpkin Spice Latte M&M’s!

Larger and lumpier than regular M&M’s, I was a little confused when I first bit into one, as its flavor profile seemed unchanged from the norm. Then came the aftertaste. WOW. If we can assume that these were meant to mimic Starbucks’ famous autumnal offering, it’s a dead-on match.

Many pumpkin spice candies seem like they’re only in it for the novelty factor, with companies spying the movement and thinking, “Yes, yes… we can do this too.” By comparison, these come off as an honest attempt to make something delicious. The flavor is sharp and complex, and almost incongruously extravagant for M&M’s. They’re the fanciest M&M’s I’ve ever tasted! Read More…