Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula

A Halloween Mood Table For My Cat.

Well, it’s October 1st, and you know what that means. Halloween Mood Table time!

I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. You can think of it as Halloween’s Christmas tree. Just set up a small table somewhere in the house, and cover it with spooky junk. Beyond the decorative factor, the hope is that you’ll have “a spot” to turn to whenever you need to rejuvenate your Halloween spirit.

My Halloween Mood Tables have gotten weirder over the years. Back in 2018, it was more of a Halloween Mood Monster. Then last year, I skipped the usual bric-a-brac and let my action figures enjoy a month-long Halloween party.

As for 2020? Well…

This year, I decided to make a Halloween Mood Table for my cat.

All it took was a trip to Petco and, jeez, 75 dollars? How the hell did that cost 75 bucks? Oh well, my cat is worth it. Let me introduce you to him:

Meet Halloween. Yes, that’s his name. Halloween the cat.

He’s around four months old. We weren’t intending to adopt another cat, but this guy almost literally fell in our lap. At first, we told ourselves that we were only fostering Halloween until we could find him a forever home. That lasted roughly twenty minutes. This is his forever home.

Halloween has a condition called cerebellar hypoplasia. The part of his brain that handles motor skills is underdeveloped. Some cats have a milder form of CH that gives them balance issues and a “wobbly gait,” but Halloween has a severe case. He can’t walk at all, except for those 1-2 second instinctual bursts that always end with him sideways on the floor. The condition will never get worse, but it will never get better.

It’s usually a death sentence for strays and ferals, but cats with CH can manage perfectly well indoors. You’d be amazed at what this kitty can do. Read More…

McDonald’s Haunted Halloween Happy Meal!

When I say “Halloween Happy Meal,” your mind drifts to one of two things: Those awesome buckets, or that army of costumed Chicken McNuggets.

And hey, I get it! Objectively, those are the best spooky goodies McD’s has ever produced. Doesn’t mean that there aren’t others deserving of 700-word tributes, though.

So let’s talk about their Haunted Halloween Happy Meal, from 1998.

For people my age, this set is mostly familiar through eBay hunts and the occasional yard sale. There’s a dark period in our lives when we’re too old for Happy Meal toys, yet not old enough to stop giving a shit that we’re too old. The Haunted Halloween set debuted when I was stuck in that terrible hell, appropriately scored by Garbage’s Version 2.0. Read More…

Purple Stuff Podcast: Spooky Songs VII!

The Purple Stuff Podcast is back with one of its most important shows of the year! (Yes, creepy music is very important.)

It’s the seventh volume of our annual series, SPOOKY SONGS! Me and Jay from Sludge Central are ready to boost your Halloween playlists with ten terrifying tracks that you almost definitely don’t already have on ‘em.

Loads of deep cuts in this one — everything from the theme song to Cat’s Eye to some weird Ghostbusters track that you could only hear on an obscure audio cassette.

Click here to listen to this week’s show!

Hope you enjoy! The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an extra bonus episode every single month. (This month’s ep is already there — go listen to us gab about some of our favorite creepy commercials!)

In other news, we’re thrilled to be part of this year’s (all-virtual) Salem Horror Fest. We’ve contributed a special Gremlins-themed episode, covering everything from Gremlins Cereal to the Gizmo Furby.

Look for us as part of their Joe Dante tribute. They have a lot of great things lined up, from premieres to panels. Honestly, we’re just a teensy tiny part of it. The episode will be exclusive to the event for a while, but I think eventually we’ll be able to run it on our podcast feed. That said, we do hope some of you will consider grabbing a ticket — it looks like a tremendous event!

I’ll leave you with a couple of images that hint at our Spooky Songs picks: Read More…

Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 3!

In this edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet, you’ll see everything from the original Scream’s original site to a bunch of discontinued ice cream flavors. I’m pushing all of your best buttons.

We’re gonna have a time! Unplug your landlines and settle in with that sweet 2400-baud connection. If you missed the previous editions, they’re here and here.


Elvira’s Halloween Soup!
(October 2000)

Elvira was one of the first celebs who understood the powaaa of the internet, using it not just to maintain her fame, but to become truly self-sufficient.

Early versions of her website were simple by today’s standards, but they held the key to Elvira’s still-going success: She built a direct line to her fans. It’s Celebrity 101 in 2020, but she did it when most people were still trying to figure out what those weird AOL discs that kept coming in the mail were for.

In the early 2000s, Elvira had a recipe section on her site. It must’ve been a point of passion for her, because the recipes were for mostly-normal foods that did not scream “Elvira” in any way.

Shown above is the recipe for Elvira’s Halloween Soup, a basic black bean soup that isn’t the slightest bit vampy or goth. I love that I can prepare such a pleasantly everyday meal and still call it a tribute to Elvira! Read More…