Dinosaur Dracula!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone! (What’s left of it, anyway.)

I hope you’ve had a great season, and I hope Dinosaur Dracula’s 2019 Halloween Countdown made it a little more special. Here’s a quick video that basically says the same, but also features a giant demon rabbit:


I always end these Countdowns wishing I’d done more, but hey, there have been plenty of articles this season, plus some videos, on top of the spooky podcasts me and Jay started publishing back in August. NOT BAD, I’d say?

As for the season at large? It’s been a little weird, but mostly excellent. From junk food to decorations to movies and beyond, there’s been plenty of spooky fuel to carry us through. What’s been the highlight of YOUR season? Speak up, in the comments!

Dino Drac kicks off another holiday celebration next week, so if you stray over the next few days, just don’t stray too far!

Enjoy one last night of horror movies and fun-sized Snickers. You’ve earned it.

Five Random Action Figures, Part 46!

We’re now stuck in a weird situation where Halloween feels like it’s already happened, but clearly hasn’t. Pretty much everyone I know did their big celebrating over the weekend, and now we’re kind of puttering toward the finish line.

Hey, whatever. We’ve all done plenty these past two months. You’re allowed to take it easy this week, if that’s what you want. There are no rules to Halloweening, except to have fun in whatever form “fun” takes. Go big, go small, doesn’t matter. By this time next week, you’ll be eating Stove Top.

…but I’m not giving up on the black-and-orange until October 31st, so here’s another thousand words about spooky junk. Get set for the latest edition of Five Random Action Figures, which isn’t normally a Halloween subject, but magically becomes one when I feature nothing but ugly monsters:

Serpentine King Hssss!
Masters of the Universe Classics (2015)

You don’t need to know a thing about Masters of the Universe to recognize this living pile of snakes as a Very Cool Creature, but that’s only the half of it. The vintage King Hiss figure was one of my childhood favorites, and this extreme take on his “snake form” would’ve been beyond my wildest dreams as a kid.

The general line on King Hiss (here stylized as “Hssss”) is that he’s at least equal in rank to Skeletor and Hordak. I love the fact that a guy with eight snakes replacing a proper head and torso is actually a brilliant tactician who gets to ussse big wordsss while ordering everyone else around.

Bonus points: I don’t know what this figure originally sold for, but I got him for just five bucks during one of GameStop’s “we have too much shit in our storeroom” sales. Read More…

2019’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

I suppose there isn’t much value in spooky junk food reviews this late into the season, but whatever, I’m doing this one just for me. I mean, the idea of a whole Halloween Countdown slipping by without any coverage of Ghoul-Aid Popping Candy? Shit makes me sick.

Sooo, here’s the third edition of 2019’s Best Halloween Junk Food, featuring everything from Skittles that taste like vomit to pizza that thinks it’s a pumpkin.

The Ghost Whopper!
(Available at Burger King)

We spent the whole season wondering if Burger King would come through with another huge Halloween promotion, and the answer is… um, kind of?

Meet the GHOST WHOPPER, with its deathly pale white cheddar bun. It’s only available at 10 locations in the United States, which is cool if you live near one and absolutely soul-destroying if you don’t.

Me and Jay drove all the way into Philadelphia to try these, but if you wanna hear that story, you’ll need to listen to this month’s Purple Stuff bonus episode. For the purposes of this review, I’ll just say that Ghost Whoppers are really, REALLY good, and totally deserved a nationwide release.

The white cheddar bun isn’t just tasty, but also softer than Burger King’s norm. (Which I appreciate, as I’ve always found Burger King’s regular bread to be pretty cardboardy.) I guess I can’t claim that it’s as visually striking as the Halloween Whopper or Nightmare King, but man, basing a cheeseburger on a goddamned SHEET GHOST hits all of my sweet spots.

GRADE: A+. (And that A+ is strictly for the execution of the sandwich. BK’s new lean on this “10 restaurants only” gimmick is icky, and I hope they stop doing that.) Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 25!

Well, here’s the 25th (!!!) edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, which’ll also be the last edition posted during this year’s Halloween Countdown. (I hate how final that sounds. Can I take it back?)

I wasn’t expecting to find enough ads for another chapter, but two friends came through with VHS tapes that gave me jussst enough to cross the finish line. Big thanks to Chris Glass and Spooky AS — loved the tapes, and love you guys for thinking of me!

Halloween McNugget Buddies! (1996)

I always associate McDonald’s Halloween McNugget Buddies with the early ’90s, not just because that’s when they debuted, but also because I was at that point still young enough to be almost within the target demo. Almost.

It’s kind of a shock to realize that new sets were being released as late as 1996. Actually, the set featured here turned out to be the last of the McNugget Buddies, but at least they went out with a bang. The McNugget dressed as Ronald McDonald was arguably the set’s highlight, but there was also a “Dragon” McNugget that more closely resembled Gill-man. Really, flip a coin between those two.

And yeah, I wish McDonald’s would do “self-branded” Halloween Happy Meals again. They absolutely ruled the season for so many years, and then it was just… nada. I get that it’s dumb to expect McD’s to develop kid-targeted toy promotions with old geeks in mind, but can you imagine the online buzz if they put out a new set of McNugget Buddies, or even just re-released the old McBoo pails?

Give us a reason to come back, Ronald. Also, you come back too, Ronald. Read More…