A short while back, I wrote about some of my experiences at movie theaters. The article got a good response, and I’m a slave to good responses. Let’s do it again.
Below are five more stories about movies I saw in theaters. Like last time, they’re less about the actual films and more about the surrounding circumstances. Those are the parts that mean the most to me, anyway.
Transformers: The Movie
It was me, my same-aged best friend from across the street, and his slightly older brother. My mother was driving us to see Transformers: The Movie. It wouldn’t be the first animated film we’d seen in theaters, but it was the first one that mattered more than food or oxygen.
We were HYPED UP, because the TV spots made the movie seem so much bigger and more aggressive than the cartoon series. Which, of course, it was.
One of those TV spots even hinted at Prime’s death, but I didn’t pay it much mind. Cartoon characters didn’t die! Not the important ones, anyway. Certainly not Optimus Prime!
I pleaded my case in the car, but my friend’s brother had a different theory: “I think he’s gonna die because they didn’t say anything about Megatron!” Huh, that was true. The commercials pondered a world without Optimus, but never a world without Megatron. In retrospect, it wasn’t the strongest argument, but at the time, I was very concerned.
After we got our tickets and snacks, it was time to find our seats. I remember glancing at that giant Transformers: The Movie standee one last time before we entered the theater. Optimus Prime was nowhere on it.
Oh, shit. Read More…
A number of Funpack subscribers got in touch last month to let me know what a welcome distraction they were, and man did that make me feel good. To those of you “on the list,” I hope they let you break into an alternate reality where the only things that matter are junk food and goofy fun — even if only for an hour or two!
UNITED STATES ONLY! LIMITED TIME, LIMITED SUPPLY!
The April 2020 Funpack is a close cousin to last month’s in scope, though all of the actual items are completely different. There are over a dozen treasures in this baby, covering everything from bad/good movies to weird art to adorably teensy Cookie Monster dolls. You’re gonna love it.
Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll get boxes of awesome old-and-new nonsense each and every month. (You can cancel whenever ya want without penalty, of course!)
Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything in the April Funpack! Read More…
Some of my friends have been shielding themselves from the Perpetually Unsettling News with horror movies. I totally get it, because I’ve been doing it too. I guess it’s a matter of replacing bad and lasting scares with the good and fleeting kind? Considering his bladed glove, it’s ironic how Freddy can take the edge off.
That may explain why we picked this particular subject for the latest Purple Stuff Podcast. It’s an episode that might be more at home in October, but goddamn, it’s exactly what we needed right now.
This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit discuss eight of our all-time favorite SCARY TV COMMERCIALS, covering everything from haunted fruit snacks to the time the Gremlins starred in a drunk driving PSA. Lots of heavy hitters in this batch!
(If you subscribe to the Purple Stuff Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher or whatever, it should be on there, too!)
Oh, and if you wanna watch along, here’s a playlist of every commercial mentioned on the show:
Some are from my personal collection; others were only available to us thanks to several YouTubers who work hard to preserve this stuff. (For instance, props to Retrontario for that eye shrapnel PSA!)
Hope you guys dig the show. The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an extra bonus episode every month, along with some other things. Thanks for all of your support on there!
It’s still pretty early in the month, so who knows — we may hit ya with another full-length episode sooner than you expect!
It’s time for a very special episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast! For years, you’ve heard us wax nostalgic about WPIX’s old Shocktober horror movie marathons. Hell, I’ve even written giant articles about it. (Several, actually.)
Today, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are gonna relieve Shocktober like we never could before: By watching the October 1992 WPIX broadcast of Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter!
I’ve spent close to two decades trying to track down this precise broadcast, which I absolutely watched back in ‘92. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter kicked off that year’s Shocktober event on Thursday, October 1st. I’m sure I stuck with FOX until The Simpsons were over, but after that, I was all Jason’s.
My bud Dustin (Trasufoma) miraculously found a VHS tape containing this broadcast, and so graciously shared it with us. It’s f’n beautiful, guys. It was a complete recording too, with all of WPIX’s bells and whistles and all of the original commercials. Thanks so much for this tape, Dustin!
For those who haven’t heard us gab about Shocktober before, it worked like this: Virtually every night in October, WPIX — a broadcast network in these parts — aired edited-for-content horror movies in the 8PM time slot. This was how kids like me saw soooo many horror movies for the first time, including this one here!
On this week’s show, we’re walking you through the whole broadcast. We talk about what WPIX got away with showing on network television, and what they had to edit. We’ll tell you about scenes that weren’t in the theatrical cut. We’ll gush over the commercials and promos. My God, even the hideous snakeman from that old anti-drug PSA makes an appearance. This is extremely our shit!
As a reminder, The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an extra bonus show every single month. (And sometimes more than one!) Thanks so much for your support over there.
Oh, and as a companion to this week’s show, I cut together this highlight reel from the Shocktober ‘92 broadcast of Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. It includes pretty much everything we discuss on the podcast, from the extra scenes to the cool commercials to that sweet WPIX packaging. Enjoy!