Dinosaur Dracula!

McDonald’s Holiday McNuggets from 1987!

Y’all remember the time McDonald’s pitched Chicken McNuggets as actual literal Christmas presents, right?

In 1987, McDonald’s unveiled Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which came in awesomely complicated packages that looked (and even opened like) gift boxes.

It wasn’t McD’s only push for people to serve Chicken McNuggets at holiday parties, but it was certainly their biggest. As if the intricate boxes weren’t enough, McDonald’s also included two limited edition sauces that tied perfectly into the season.

I’d kill to see McDonald’s try something like this again. They still do Christmassy promotions, but what I really want is the chance to turn fast food into fine dining. I want to use the good plates on Chicken McNuggets.

Until such time, I’ll have to make do with bizarre recreations.

I was lucky enough to find one of the original Holiday McNugget boxes from thirty years ago, so all I needed were fresh nugs.

While waiting on line, I thought about telling the cashier why I needed them, which would’ve signaled the start of my even-grittier reboot of Falling Down. It didn’t happen, but the daydream sure made those five minutes pass faster. Read More…

12 More Songs For Your Holiday Playlist!

I love Christmas songs. Even the bad ones. They make me feel happy even when I’m not. They turn drives to department stores into scenes out of family movies. They make coffee taste better and $3 candles smell sweeter.

Jay from The Sexy Armpit feels the same way, so we’re thrilled to debut this brand new episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast.

It’s our third collection of CHRISTMAS SONGS, including 12 screwball picks that will give your tired playlists a shot of goofy adrenaline.

We didn’t set out to pick strange songs, but it sure seems like we did. In this episode, you’ll hear everyone from Billy Idol to Fred Flintstone to the goddamned Del Rubio Triplets.

These are some of our favorite episodes to record! Give us a listen by clicking the giant, ugly play button down below:

You can also download this week’s episode by right-clicking here.

Also: I almost never mention it because I’m dumb, but the show is also on iTunes, Podbean and Stitcher. (If you dig us, giving the show a good review on iTunes is a big help, too!)

Thanks for listening and for sharing the show around. Glad we can help you kill an hour in a super festive way.

In conclusion, I love the Del Rubio Triplets.

PS: If you wanna hear our previous CHRISTMAS SONGS episodes, go here and here!

Christmas at Dollar Tree.

Today’s video covers my Christmas shopping spree at Dollar Tree:

Dollar Tree’s assortment of Xmas decorations and novelties is… interesting.

During Halloween, they can get away with anything, since spooky stuff only seems to improve with cheapness and cheese. Christmas junk, on the other hand… not so much. It’s like someone paged through an Oriental Trading catalog and vowed to do everything it did with 1/10th the money and effort.

That isn’t exactly a complaint, though. There’s a weird sincerity to this garbage, and also a strange phenomenon where you look at the garbage, feel bad for the garbage and then buy the garbage.

I’ll stand there staring at a 4” fake wreath for ten minutes, and by the time I’m done, leaving it behind feels like I’m ignoring a blind, three-legged stray cat.

Anyway, the point of this video is to show that you needn’t spend a lot of money to have stupid Christmas fun. For five bucks, I got everything from a new mug to a snowman-themed paddleball. Retail therapy on the cheap. Happy holidays.

Pepsi Christmas Cola from Japan!

It wouldn’t be the holiday season without piles of ridiculous junk food to obsess over:

Take this, for example. PEPSI CHRISTMAS COLA. It’s pretty much a direct sequel to Pepsi Halloween Cola, right down to the sad fact that you’ll need to import it from Japan and spend way more on shipping than any bottle of soda is reasonably worth. (I don’t care!)

Learn all about this festive new beverage in today’s video:

If you’d like to try Pepsi Christmas Cola, you can find a number of sellers online, but I used the always-reliable NapaJapan.

(If paying for overseas shipping is a bridge too far, there’s always Mountain Dew Holiday Brew and Salted Caramel Pepsi… but we’ll save the story about those for another day.)

Hope you enjoy the vid!

How To Make Stuffed Mushrooms.

Here’s my recipe for stuffed mushrooms, which has gotten a surprising number of requests. Like at least three.

I make these for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, because my habits are my comforts and if you fuck with them you die. (And also because it’s one of the few dishes my family completely trusts me with.)

You can take my directions as general guidelines. The beauty of stuffed mushrooms is that they’re incredibly hard to get wrong, no matter what you do to them. Do not fear the stuffed mushroom. Read More…