Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • I ate pancakes at the Friday the 13th diner.

    Hey, did you hear? It’s Friday the 13th. I hope you’re making the most of this holy day, whether it’s with movie marathons or masked mirror selfies. I wasn’t planning anything special for the occasion, but on a hot tip from my pal Lindsey, I ended up in Blairstown, New Jersey, wher

  • Target is selling Dinosaur Dracula dolls?!

    If you haven’t heard the big news, the crown jewel of Target’s 2019 Halloween collection is… Dinosaur Dracula? Well, Target is calling it a “dragon,” but I know Dinosaur Dracula when I see him. While it would’ve been nice for Target to ask me before painting Dino Drac orange an

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 23!

    Set aside two and a half minutes and however long it takes to read 900 words, because it’s time for the 23rd edition of Classic Creepy Commercials! If this batch doesn’t put you in the mood for spiked cider and dimmed lighting, nothing will. Except maybe pot.  Halloween III on Broad

  • Hormel’s Frank ‘n Stuff Hot Dogs!

    At the tail end of 1984, Hormel introduced the most Halloweeny of all hot dogs. Probably not the kickoff line you were expecting, but whatever, you’re here. Let’s talk about Frank ‘n Stuff! I’ve mentioned Frank ‘n Stuff in prior articles, but I thought it deserved a proper, stand

  • 1989 Imagineers Halloween Catalog!

    I got my hands on a spooky nostalgia bomb. Behold, Imagineering’s 1989 Halloween catalog! If you don’t remember Imagineering, they were one of the major suppliers of costumes, makeup kits and assorted Halloween accessories. If you grew up when I did, you definitely bought their stuff.

  • Mountain Dew VOODEW Soda Review!

    I’m pleased to announce that I’m finally ready to do the Dew. Mountain Dew VOODEW, that is! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. New for 2019, it’s a chalky white mystery flavor fronted by a faceless grim reaper in an orange cloak. I say with total sincerity that it doesn’t get any better than that. Th

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 22!

    Happy September! It’s arguably the best month of the year, but inarguably the month that kicks off the best quarter of the year. From now through 2020, we’ll always have some holiday-related bullshit to help us forget our troubles. Yes! Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy

  • Old Halloween Newspaper Ads, #6!

    The return of the Halloween Countdown means that I get to dust off one of my favorite spooky-themed article series, Old Halloween Newspaper Ads. It’s a deep dive into aspects of the season you’ve probably forgotten, all thanks to clippings from ancient newspapers. Get set to bask in th

  • Dino Drac’s 2019 Halloween Countdown!

    People like you and me, we spend most of our time just surviving. We distract ourselves as often as we can with whatever we can, but there’s always this quiet pulse of survival, like it’s what we’ll settle for even if it’s nowhere near what we’re hoping for. But then, for two mon

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Evil Clowns!

    While Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown doesn’t start until next Friday, it seems like many of you are counting this weekend as the official start of the spooky season. Well, good news: So is the Purple Stuff Podcast! As some of you will remember, our show was originally conceived as a H

  • Dino Drac’s Eerie August Funpack is here!

    Okay guys, it’s time. Dino Drac’s Eerie August Funpack is the first of three Halloween-themed Funpacks, and if you’re already a subscriber, good news: You’re locked in for all of them, assuming you don’t cancel! The rest of you will need to act quick, but hey, I’ve been warning

  • The Halloween Countdown is coming!

    Hey! Dinosaur Dracula’s 2019 Halloween Countdown begins on Friday, August 30th at 9PM. Here’s the teaser video, if ya missed it:  Of course, that means I have a TON to do, so don’t get worried if Dino Drac updates are next to nonexistent between now and then. I’m here, working i

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Pizza Party!

    Geez, I wasn’t sure if we’d make our deadline on this. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when not accomplishing something would be a total disaster. Just in the nick of time, here’s the concluding episode of the Purple Stuff Podcast’s SUMMER SATURDAYS event! This week, me and

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Flea Market Adventure!

    Summer Saturdays continues on the Purple Stuff Podcast! We decided to go on a little adventure for you guys, despite the 5000 degree weather: This week’s show covers our trip to the Englishtown Flea Market in New Jersey, which longtime readers should remember from several older Dino Drac

  • Dino Drac’s July Funpack is here!

    This month marks the FIFTH ANNIVERSARY of Dino Drac’s Funpacks, which sounds so impossible that I checked three times just to be sure. When I kicked off this endeavor way back in 2014, I never expected that I’d still be at it even a year later — let alone five! Thank you so much

  • Purple Stuff: Summer Q and A!

    First off, thanks for the big response to the Purple Stuff Podcast’s SUMMER SATURDAYS event. Last week’s ep did sweet numbers by our standards, and we appreciate the encouragement to continue blathering into microphones in extremely hot rooms with the AC turned off. This week’s episo

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Summer Songs!

    So if you didn’t hear the news, we’ll be releasing a new Purple Stuff Podcast every Saturday, all through July… starting today! It’s our SUMMER SATURDAYS event, celebrating the (admittedly few) things we love about these stupid boiling hot months. Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpi

  • Purple Stuff: The Upside Down Whopper!

    Yesterday, Burger King unveiled the UPSIDE DOWN WHOPPER, a special tie-in with Stranger Things. There were a few catches, of course. It was only available on June 21st, and only at eleven locations throughout the country. Fortunately, one of those locations was in Manhattan — so me

  • Batman 1989 Merch!

    Almost exactly thirty years ago, my parents took me to see Batman. When I call it a life-changing experience, it’s without a drip of hyperbole. The film permeated pop culture to the point where even a person who’d never seen the movie still felt like they were drowning in it. I was an

  • Dino Drac’s June Funpack is here!

    Now almost five years into doing these Funpacks, I can pretty accurately predict which ones are gonna sell out quick. I think this one will. That’s code for “act fast.” IN SHORT SUPPLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! Dino Drac’s June 2019 Funpack is here, and brother, it’s solid. There are