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Dinosaur Dracula

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

    It’s been a great year for Halloween foodies, but in a quiet sort of way. While we haven’t gotten anything on the level of Fruity Yummy Mummy or the Halloween Whopper, there’s been an awful lot of not-awful stuff! As this edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food will demonstr

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 28!

    Whether you’re into Freddy Krueger, Universal Studios or KILLER ROBOT CABBAGE PATCH KIDS, this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials will satisfy your weird craving. Enjoy: Freddy’s Holiday Party Contest! (1988) Stay with me here, because it gets convoluted! If you lived in Portlan

  • Spooky VCR Games, Ripped 4 Your Pleasure.

    Hi, I’m Matt, and I collect tapes from old VCR board games. Just the tapes, I mean. I can’t honestly claim that they’re super fun to watch without the game components, but as a kid, I did it all the time. It started with the Clue VCR Mystery Game. My parents received it as a

  • Dino Drac’s Envelopes of Evil are back!

    Surprise — it’s back! Dino Drac’s fifth ENVELOPE OF EVIL is available now, assuming you live in the U.S. and have $31 to spare. You’ll receive a Priority Mail envelope stuffed with all sorts of spooky goodies, and maybe one that isn’t spooky at all. It’s a macabre mix of re

  • A Halloween Mood Table For My Cat.

    Well, it’s October 1st, and you know what that means. Halloween Mood Table time! I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. You can think of it as Halloween’s Christmas tree. Just set up a small table somewhere in the house, and cover it with spooky junk. Beyond the decorative f

  • McDonald’s Haunted Halloween Happy Meal!

    When I say “Halloween Happy Meal,” your mind drifts to one of two things: Those awesome buckets, or that army of costumed Chicken McNuggets. And hey, I get it! Objectively, those are the best spooky goodies McD’s has ever produced. Doesn’t mean that there aren’t others deserving

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Spooky Songs VII!

    The Purple Stuff Podcast is back with one of its most important shows of the year! (Yes, creepy music is very important.) It’s the seventh volume of our annual series, SPOOKY SONGS! Me and Jay from Sludge Central are ready to boost your Halloween playlists with ten terrifying tracks that

  • Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 3!

    In this edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet, you’ll see everything from the original Scream’s original site to a bunch of discontinued ice cream flavors. I’m pushing all of your best buttons. We’re gonna have a time! Unplug your landlines and settle in with that sweet 2400

  • 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 2!

    Time for the second edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food! If you missed the first one, it’s over here. Given how much the real world sucks, it’s been a surprisingly strong year for Halloween snacks. All we need is for one fast food giant to roll the dice on a spooky promotion,

  • Horror Promos Rescued From VHS Tapes!

    With even the most obscure horror movies now available on Blu-ray, collecting VHS tapes is mostly for the diehards. (Course, you’ll never convince me that watching something like Ghoulies doesn’t “hit different” on videocassette!) Still, there is one unsung aspect of those old tape

  • Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack!

    Time to unveil Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack! To the surprise of no one, it’s Halloween in a box! UNITED STATES ONLY! Now, here’s the deal: Subscriptions are already sold out. If you were already on the list, congratulations, you are absolutely getting the Spooky September Fun

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 47!

    It’s been almost a year since the last edition of Five Random Action Figures, and I’ve been flooded with feedback from at least two whole people demanding a new one. You win! Since it’s the Halloween season, this is an all-spooky edition. These figures will haunt your nightmares, or

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 27!

    In this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, you’ll see everything from an ophidian drug dealer to grainy Ghoulies. What fun we’ll have! These spots are older than you, and so am I. If you missed Volume 26, click here. If you miss Dairy Queen’s Cotton Candy Blizzard, click here

  • 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!

    It might not be fair, but every Halloween season is judged by its junk food. I gotta wonder how things will play out this year, when the world is upside-down. Like, does Burger King just say “fuck it,” or should I be waiting for them to announce a Burger from the Black Lagoon? Quantity

  • Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 2!

    Make a cup of coffee, fire up the 56k modem and settle in for another edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet. If you missed the first edition, I dove into the depths of the Internet Archive to rescue little slices of Halloween goodness from the late ‘90s and early 2000s. This time,

  • Old Halloween Newspaper Clippings, #8!

    Welcome to another edition of Old Halloween Newspaper Clippings — and the first for the 2020 season! I’ve always loved writing these articles, even if they’ve never exactly stirred Dino Drac’s audience to chant my name at sports games. Really, you’d think thousand-word es

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 26!

    Get set for the 26th edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring spooky ads that I rescued from decaying VHS tapes. This series is as old as Dino Drac itself, and it wouldn’t be the Halloween Countdown without a few new chapters! The Real 976-EVIL Hotline! (1988) If you’ve never s

  • Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 1!

    Welcome to the first edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet! I spent way too many hours poring over the Internet Archive, searching for spooky gold. It was a huge reminder of how much the internet has evolved over the last 25 years. In the late ‘90s and very early 2000s, there was

  • Dino Drac’s Spicy Sweet Potato Fries!

    If you’re gonna survive the 2020 Halloween season, you’ll need to make your own fun. Many of the things we formerly relied on will be closed, or altered to the point of pointlessness. It’s a DIY-or-die situation. Here’s an idea: Cook spooky stuff! Buy one of those overpriced recipe

  • The 2020 Halloween Countdown BEGINS NOW!

    This year is garbage, so over the next two months, I’m gonna do my best to bring you several smiles and maybe some of those wax lips with the vampire teeth. They taste like the perfume version of bubble gum, have you noticed? What I’m saying is… Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s 20