Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Trick-or-Treating Memories. In Crayon.

    You know that thing I do every Christmas season, where I write about holiday memories but also draw them with crayons? I’ve done it for Thanksgiving, too. I am so bad at going viral. Here’s the Halloween version, which will specifically deal with trick-or-treating. Below are five memor

  • The Toxic Avenger Ruined My Life.

    “Ma, I don’t want to grow up.” That was me in 1987. No, I wasn’t quoting the Toys “R” Us commercials. One night, my parents were out of town — Atlantic City, no doubt — and I was left in my sister’s charge. As was usually the case, she only “babysat” me in quo

  • How To Roast Pumpkin Seeds!

    It’s pumpkin season! If you don’t have one already, surely it’s on your radar. So I’m here to make a preemptive pitch: When you carve that sucker, DO NOT throw away the seeds. Instead, roast those mofos. Roasted pumpkin seeds are fantastic, and with a bit of extra work, you can mak

  • Madd Matt’s Latest Bag of Halloween Junk.

    In case you couldn’t tell by the dead leaves, the chilly weather and all of the Santa Claus stuff at Dollar Tree, it is now OCTOBER. The greatest month of the year. Time for me to celebrate with two pounds of zombie makeup:  WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE! Madd Matt returns to the Halloween

  • The 2019 Halloween Mood Table!

    Happy October! As is tradition, I’m starting the month with another Halloween Mood Table. This year’s edition is a little different, though. It’s more of a Mood House. Instead of the usual assortment of decorations, candies, books and bric-a-brac, I threw a dollhouse on top of a tiny

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 24!

    Get set for the 24th edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, where I rescue ads from wheezing VHS tapes and willfully ignore the too-scratchy audio. This is the third volume posted during the 2019 Halloween Countdown, which is pretty nuts considering that I wasn’t sure I’d even find eno

  • New Universal Monsters Bend-Ems Figures!

    Well, here’s one of the biggest surprises of the 2019 Halloween season: Walgreens is now selling Universal Monsters Bend-Ems figures! Beautiful, aren’t they? The set includes Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolfman and the Creature from the Black Lagoon, all wearing expressions that do litt

  • Pumpkin Spice SPAM Review!

    If you missed the news, Pumpkin Spice Spam is a real thing that really exists. It went on sale this past Monday, and sold out in mere hours — partially thanks to the many resellers who are now trying to flip goddamned SPAM on eBay. I set an alarm to make sure I wouldn’t miss

  • Purple Stuff: Spooky Songs Part VI!

    It’s that time of year again! The Purple Stuff Podcast is back with the sixth edition of Spooky Songs. It’s probably our favorite type of show to record! If you weren’t around for the last five editions, this is where we select tracks that y’all need to add to your Halloween playli

  • 1981 TV Premiere of Halloween, on NBC.

    On October 30th, 1981, John Carpenter’s Halloween ran on television for the first time ever. Included as part of NBC’s Friday Night at the Movies series, I’m not sure that anyone could’ve predicted that this one specific broadcast would become as famous as it did. See, as part of t

  • Old Halloween Newspaper Ads, #7!

    Here’s the latest edition of Old Halloween Newspaper Ads, where I excavate spooky things from ancient newspapers and see what sorts of memories they jog. Picture me reading this paragraph to the guy who makes turkey sandwiches at the corner deli. Madballs Halloween Masks! (October 1986)

  • Addams Family Menu at IHOP!

    If you didn’t hear the news, IHOP just unleashed a special SPOOKY menu in celebration of the new Addams Family movie, which hits theaters on October 11th. I’m pretty sure I’ll be seeing the movie, but I was 100% sure that I’d be eating purple pancakes within 12 hours of IHOP’s an

  • Shakin’ Mutants from the 1990s!

    If you’ve never heard of Shakin’ Mutants, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you’re about to hear a whole lot about Shakin’ Mutants. The bad news is also that. Just look at those gorgeous mofos. They’re in ratty condition, but I’d still call ’em some of the

  • Dino Drac’s Scary September Funpack!

    Okay, here’s the deal! If you’re already a Dino Drac Funpack subscriber, good news: You’re locked in for the Scary September Funpack, and all Funpacks beyond, so long as you don’t cancel! If you’re not already a subscriber, the bad news is, subscriptions are currently closed!

  • I ate pancakes at the Friday the 13th diner.

    Hey, did you hear? It’s Friday the 13th. I hope you’re making the most of this holy day, whether it’s with movie marathons or masked mirror selfies. I wasn’t planning anything special for the occasion, but on a hot tip from my pal Lindsey, I ended up in Blairstown, New Jersey, wher

  • Target is selling Dinosaur Dracula dolls?!

    If you haven’t heard the big news, the crown jewel of Target’s 2019 Halloween collection is… Dinosaur Dracula? Well, Target is calling it a “dragon,” but I know Dinosaur Dracula when I see him. While it would’ve been nice for Target to ask me before painting Dino Drac orange an

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 23!

    Set aside two and a half minutes and however long it takes to read 900 words, because it’s time for the 23rd edition of Classic Creepy Commercials! If this batch doesn’t put you in the mood for spiked cider and dimmed lighting, nothing will. Except maybe pot.  Halloween III on Broad

  • Hormel’s Frank ‘n Stuff Hot Dogs!

    At the tail end of 1984, Hormel introduced the most Halloweeny of all hot dogs. Probably not the kickoff line you were expecting, but whatever, you’re here. Let’s talk about Frank ‘n Stuff! I’ve mentioned Frank ‘n Stuff in prior articles, but I thought it deserved a proper, stand

  • 1989 Imagineers Halloween Catalog!

    I got my hands on a spooky nostalgia bomb. Behold, Imagineering’s 1989 Halloween catalog! If you don’t remember Imagineering, they were one of the major suppliers of costumes, makeup kits and assorted Halloween accessories. If you grew up when I did, you definitely bought their stuff.

  • Mountain Dew VOODEW Soda Review!

    I’m pleased to announce that I’m finally ready to do the Dew. Mountain Dew VOODEW, that is! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. New for 2019, it’s a chalky white mystery flavor fronted by a faceless grim reaper in an orange cloak. I say with total sincerity that it doesn’t get any better than that. Th