Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Remember when Raphael saw Critters? Well…

    One of my favorite moments from the 1990 Ninja Turtles movie is when Raphael blows off steam with a trip to the movie theater: “Where do they come up with this stuff?!” I was always surprised by Raph’s nonplussed reaction to Critters. It seemed like the perfect movie to see late at

  • Geek Magazines in the 1990s!

    From Wizard to Starlog to Hero Illustrated, I grew up surrounded by geek magazines. They were so important to me, but not for the obvious reasons. If you were a lonely kid in pre-internet times, those magazines felt like travel brochures to some alternate universe where you and your bullsh

  • Dino Drac’s February Funpack is here!

    I’m kicking myself for not getting the February Funpack on the site earlier than this, because man, it’s a good one. Oh well. That just means you’ll need to be EXTRA FAST if you want in. (Please be extra fast.) AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY! Dino Drac’s February Funpack is he

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: The RED Show!

    At right around this time last year, we published our Purple Stuff GREEN SHOW — that being a tribute to 10 great green things. It was intended to kick off a series of color-themed shows, so here we are with #2! This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit unleash our RED SHOW. We’

  • 5 Awesome Marshmallows from Cereal History!

    Hey guys. I’d like to tell you about some of my all-time favorite cereal marshmallows. It’s one of the few subjects that I’m extremely passionate about it. Really, the only other one is that weird couch the Romans used to eat on. Pizza-Shaped Marshmallows! TMNT Cereal (1991) I love h

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 31!

    Here’s another batch of TV commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s, as I continue to muscle through these dangerously teetering piles of VHS tapes that are all over my desk. (Not kidding. Whenever I scratch my shoulder, there are at least three crashes.) McDonald’s “Gold Rush&

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: ALIENS!

    I’ve been into space aliens for as long as I can remember. Whenever Unsolved Mysteries did a UFO segment, I led their cheering section. Whenever a flying saucer turned up on the cover of Weekly World News, I’d buy the issue. Aliens are one of my forever-jams. Jay from The Sexy Armpit i

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 30!

    Last week, I took a chance on a very large lot of homebrew VHS tapes, and my God, it really paid off. I’ve been at this for 20 years, and this was probably my best-ever score. I’m now sitting on more ancient TV commercials than I could ever hope to write about, which I suppose

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: New Old Stuff!

    It’s a new year for the Purple Stuff Podcast, so we’re gonna celebrate with a show about new things. New old things, I mean. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit tackle all sorts of new old stuff. From New Coke to Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, so long as

  • Dino Drac’s January Funpack is here!

    Cure your post-holiday blues with Dino Drac’s first Funpack of the new year! AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! You know the drill by now! Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting new b

  • Old Junk Food in Old Movies, Volume 2!

    Earlier this week, I kicked off a new series on Dino Drac: Old Junk Food in Old Movies. Now even the worst movies are worth watching, because who knows, maybe I’ll spot a can of discontinued Pringles hiding in the background. You can read the first volume over here, but if you ask me, th

  • Old Junk Food in ’80s and ’90s Movies!

    Whenever I watch old movies, I keep an eye out for old junk food. Sometimes I spot it during a kitchen scene. Other times it’s while characters zip around supermarkets. Whatever the case, spotting old junk food makes me lose track of the movies’ actual plots as I bittersweetly contempl

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 29!

    Happy 2019! One of my resolutions was to dig up as many old TV commercials as possible before my collection of home-recorded VHS tapes degrades any further. Expect a lot of these articles this year. …granted, “these articles” were never strong performers for Dino Drac, so maybe y

  • Toys from the ’84 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    It’s basically Christmas even as I write this. The next few days are going to be dead online, but I was determined to get one last holiday-themed article on the site before Santa hightailed it back to the North Pole. Consider this my Christmas gift to you. It’s not wrapped, and that’

  • Favorite Christmas Traditions!

    We considered posting our next episode of Purple Stuff Podcast after the holidays, since another Christmas-themed show would only have a couple of days to “make bank” before nobody wanted to listen to it. …but eh, screw that. If you need some virtual company as we head into the B

  • Ancient Holiday Appetizers, Part 6!

    Wellp, it’s time for my favorite Dino Drac feature. Get set for more weird holiday appetizers! As is now an annual tradition, I dug into my vast collection of ancient recipe books, searching for snacks that’ve fallen out of fashion. I’ve been doing that for longer than I’ve even ha

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume III!

    I know that I just posted one of these “Christmas Memories in Crayon” articles last week, but would you mind if I went back to the well? Inspiration hits where it hits. Below: Five more memories from long ago Christmases, rendered in crayon. Yuletide Yoda! As you know, my family opens

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack is here!

    Dino Drac’s December 2018 Funpack is here, and guys, it’s Christmas in a box. I’m like Santa if Santa was a for-profit business. AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! I assume y’all know the drill by now. Dino Drac’s Funpacks are available on a subscription basis, an

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume II!

    Welcome to the second edition of my now-annual series, Christmas Memories in Crayon. (Not to be confused with my maybe-annual series, Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.) Below are five mini-essays about assorted Christmas memories, supplemented by bad crayon doodles. I may have written about

  • 10 More Songs for your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas music. No matter what the holiday season throws at you, it’s always there, ready to make something out of nothing. I pretty much listen to nothing but Christmas music in December, and even during those dark days when the world is a ginormous pain in the ass, it never fai