Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Five really old cans of Chef Boyardee.

    Let’s look at five ancient cans of Chef Boyardee pasta, because of course I have those. Pac-Man Pasta! From 1986, it’s both my oldest can and the prettiest… even if one must approach “golden chicken flavored sauce” with healthy trepidation. The milky, yellow glop looks not entire

  • Deadsites: “The Beast” 1996 TV Movie!

    These Deadsites posts are always tricky. For every entry that seems to resonate with you guys, there’s another that maybe three people on the whole planet are interested in. Admittedly, today’s entry runs the risk of falling into the dreaded latter category. I can’t afford to care,

  • Dino Drac’s January 2015 Funpack!

    (AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!) I’m officially ready to shill the hell out of Dinosaur Dracula’s first Funpack of the new year. It’s the January 2015 edition, stuffed with 10+ items! As this is now the sixth Funpack in the monthly series, it’s safe to assume that most of

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 12!

    It’s time for the twelfth edition of Five Random Action Figures! (Three of these were picked up just this week. Thank you, mysterious and awesome local comic book shop that’s apparently been hiding in plain sight since last spring.) Peter Venkman The Real Ghostbusters, 1986 Most of the

  • Awesome & Expensive Junk on eBay.

    I’ve been keeping an eye on a few eBay auctions despite having no plans to actually bid, out of sheer amazement that people have such rare stuff to sell. Like, how the hell do you end up with 59 Fireball Island board games? Most of these treasures will ultimately make quiet exits, reme

  • The Christmas Fallout, 2014 Edition!

    Happy 209th anniversary to the Treaty of Pressburg! I hope everyone had a great Christmas. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you had great Chinese food. Mine was the usual two-day marathon of TOO MUCH EVERYTHING. The holiday season was a little rough around the edges, but it ended

  • The 1982 Sears Wish Book!

    It’s almost Christmas Eve, and I have so much left to do. None of the presents are wrapped. Half of them haven’t even been purchased. There are mushrooms to stuff, clothes to wash, cookies to bake and hair to cut. So, like a big dumb idiot, I made one more Wish Book review the first

  • The 1985 JCPenney Christmas Catalog.

    Oof. Christmas caught me by surprise this year, and I didn’t write nearly as often as I would’ve liked to. Can’t do anything about that now, so I’ll just try to make this an extra good one! Today we’re gonna look at some highlights from the 1985 JCPenney catalog, which was basica

  • This $5 dinosaur playset is the best.

    Every Christmas, various department stores dedicate whole aisles to those super cheap “generic” toys. You know the kind. They always come in the same-style boxes, whether they’re sets of dominoes or princess baby dolls. Shown above is one example. The “Dinosaurs Play Set,” a 21-p

  • Happy Mother’s Day!

    Guys, we need to talk about this Mother’s Day card. I made it for my mother in 1986. 1987 at the absolute latest. Considering the card’s enormous size and use of strange paper, I can only assume it was an art project from grade school. The cover looks innocent enough, or at least as i

  • Obscure Nightmare on Elm Street Playset.

    One of the coolest-ever Nightmare on Elm Street toys technically had nothing to do with it: In 1988, Tonka launched a small line of Wrecking Crew toys. These were various construction vehicles that could plow through break-apart playsets. (Not a terribly misguided gimmick, given kids’

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 5!

    Welcome to what could be this year’s last batch of Classic Christmas Commercials, donated by our pal Larry. Tonight, you’ll see everything from a super capitalistic Santa to a giant apple pitching cheap underwear. Are you excited? Call Santa’s Hotline! (1987) I’ve seen at least

  • Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Cereal!

    I know everyone’s giddy over the return of French Toast Crunch, but don’t forget about this one! Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is the second of General Mills’s two new holiday-themed cereals. I covered Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp a few weeks ago, and as great as it was, I think this s

  • I have crazy love for Santa Robot.

    I’ve never been happier, and it’s all because of Santa Robot. I don’t know who was responsible for Santa Robot, nor do I have any hard evidence of when he’s from. (Though given the similarities to Tomy’s old battery-operated robots, it’s a safe bet that Santa Robot is from the

  • I bought a box of toys from eBay.

    Back in March, I paid tribute to eBay’s action figure mixed lots — those being auctions for “bunches” of toys that sellers have neither the time nor interest to list individually. Even with the bazillion eyes perpetually scanning eBay, there are some great deals hiding in those

  • Make your own Virtual Christmas Tree!

    This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year! I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make you

  • Vintage Masters of the Universe Figures!

    Since it’s Friday night and I live life to the fullest, I will now write 900 words about old Masters of the Universe figures. In this post: A lobster man, a guy with three faces, another guy with a big hand, an alien rock dude, a pure robot, and finally a naked race car driver.

  • Holiday Food Ads from 1983.

    I scanned several pages from the December 1983 issue of Woman’s Day, and now I’m gonna write about them. I bet you didn’t see that one coming. Eh, you probably did. When I was tiny, my mother had many magazines just like this, filled with holiday recipes and gift guides and craft ide

  • Five Cereals From Beyond The Grave.

    Today, I’ve chosen five old cereal boxes from my worryingly large collection for a closer inspection. Far funnier than anything you’ll read below was the sight of me dragging ancient cereal boxes out into the December chill, and desperately trying to keep them upright against the nea

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 11!

    After a crazy holiday weekend filled with ups (lots of wine) and downs (too much wine), I come to you with only the barest sense of coherence! Welcome to the eleventh edition of Five Random Action Figures, starring old plastic monsters from my personal collection. As a matter of full discl