Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/10/12.

Oh yes, the party has truly begun! I foresee nothing but GOOD GIFTS from here on out!

Proof’s in the pudding. Of course, in this case, “pudding” refers to a scorpion and a video camera. Not since car tires and frog legs has a combination seemed so natural.

I’ve endured many Playmobil Advent Calendars, and I’ve come to suspect that those bastard krauts just like to mess with us. Sometimes, the combinations are just too screwy to be happy accidents. “Die Kinder werden so durch unseren Skorpion und Videokameras verwirrt!!”

Independently, I understand each gift. We’re on a dinosaur expedition, so sure, a video camera might come in handy. We’re also traversing desert terrain, so okay, there could be some scorpions. Only together do these things seem suspect.

Dino Drac decides to roll with it. “Dance for me, little bug.”

The scorpion, being a scorpion, does not obey. He just does his “stop fucking with me or you’re gonna get it” shuffle, which, ironically, looks so much like dancing that Dino Drac still gets the exact shot he was after.

Satisfied with his directorial debut, Dino Drac addresses me. Always odd when he does that.

“This is one of those black scorpions. Do you know what that means?”

I sure do, Dinosaur Dracula.

After it molts, we’re going to see a five inch Ric Flair.