Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/17 – 12/18/12.

“They can’t be serious. What is this, a translucent breadbox?”

Nah, I think it’s just some kind of holding tank. Either way, a pretty junky gift. In fact, it’s so junky that I refuse to respect it with a bold font. These Playmobil Advent Calendars really love their peaks and valleys.

“This gift sucks. I’m opening tomorrow’s. I don’t care what you say.”

Uh, I was going to suggest the same thing. It’s not like I know how to rock an entry about a tiny holding tank that holds nothing. I’d have to go way out of my depth on the existential humor.

Whoa, nice! Tomorrow’s loot is way better than today’s.

It’s a baby devil gator and a baby gray caiman!

“I like them, but I thought this Advent Calendar was supposed to have a dinosaur theme. Are you sure these aren’t baby dinosaurs?”

I tell him I’m not sure. Hell, how am I supposed to know? It’s not like Playmobil ever tells us what these things are supposed to be. The instruction manual is full of pictures and arrows, but not once does it name the gifts. This usually isn’t a problem – it’s easy to know a dinosaur skeleton when you see one – but when you’ve got a little gray monster that could be a lizard, a caiman or maybe even a baby dinosaur, yes, I wish someone with authority would just step in and stamp the fucker.

“This red one is the same color as the bags from Macy’s. So I’m going to name him Macy.”

Fine. But if you name the other one “Gray,” we are THROUGH.